Today I am writing from my heart from the weekend to present in reflection of my choices.
There always begins a new theme as I reflect on my choices in this journey. I feel so deeply and find that I really want my passion for life to stay alive. I look at my friends and family.
There’s so much to be grateful for and so much of life seems to be the push and pull at the same time.
My one friend his words to me at the most horrifying and scariest moment of my life said… “It won’t always be this way.” I have had people say it since and you know what those words are to me now? Those are words of love and affirmation.
The words are validation that I matter and everything eventually changes.
When you’re on this journey there’s plenty of laughter, tears, and love. It’s letting go of the hatred. Holding on to love.
Love comes in many different packages and it’s not always wrapped the way we think it should be. In accepting those gifts however, they may come gives us freedom and the person who gives, they get freedom as well.
We get to reflect on memories and making new ones. We get a chance to roll with change no matter how scary and painful it may feel at times.
Maybe for the first time I am recognizing I live alone; but I am never alone.
Sometimes I am embarrassed for the way my life is and how it turned out. I get in self-pity. I am afraid to admit that sometimes because things just feel unfair. It really is a process.
I told someone the other day, I realize I have rights but sometimes now I don’t always want to trump with my rights if it means giving up peace.
Growing up, I always thought to that love was just peace, physical touch, hugs, and just reminding others with words.
Today I know love is, a friend not letting you leave the house like a total slob. Love is sometimes being pushed out when it is so scary and you are begging them to please not make you go.
Sometimes people have to move away and you are sad and you don’t want to watch them leave; but you stand there waving because they are the best gift that ever came into your life.
You hit a midlife crisis thinking you can be a teenager and age finally sets in, and you realize you don’t want all the chaos.
The afternoons or evening curled up with a book and a cup of coffee are the best times now.
We let go of the negative things. We let go of the bad. It’s just a process and doesn’t happen overnight.
We hold on to all the good and we pass it on. We walk each other home because finally we understand, there’s more than enough to go around.
We try to not hurt ourselves or each other. We are not saints! We get a chance at freedom. Just for today.
This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!
God Bless Y’all everybody!