Journey

I Feel Like I am On A Time Clock

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Hey Y’all!

I feel like I am on a time clock racing to get everything done. My writing is important to me. Though my writing has been nonexistent lately, I am trying again. I wish to do better and just show myself doing better.

I am doing stretches and walking. I am doing my pumps and a workout with the chores. I have chores in the mornings. My helper gets here late afternoon, usually, the heaviest thing she must do is the laundry and trash.

Physically, my wounds looked worse on Monday. My head has just gone mad with thoughts about that. Thankfully, they looked much better yesterday when the nurse was here. We shall see what they look like tomorrow and Monday.

I have not forgotten about working on the grief, loss, resentments, causes, and my part where it affects me. I must work toward forgiveness to free myself. I am collaborating with my therapist, the professional I mentioned in the last entry. I must find my way out of the emotional mess.

I am praying for help to be the best version of myself to be the best friend I can be and to give of myself the best I can.

I have been on the other side of seeing nothing wrong and wondering why everything is out of order. I have done stupid things and won stupid prizes. We cannot see; until we are willing to see. It takes work, meditation, prayer, and willingness to change.

There is no answer to the why until we do the work of HOW. That is Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness. We get down to causes and effects, and admission of our part. The one common denominator in everything that happens is me.

You learn by living it out. I fall apart when I am not spiritually fit. This is why I need my support system and simple reminders. Unfortunately, it takes what I consider devastating news before I call for the lifeline.

 “GOOD judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage, and prudence- are the qualities needed *(taken from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous) these and one spiritual we should have, “sensible, tactful, considerate and humble.” *(Taken from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous).

Every time I find myself in a spot, I must change. When we start seeing the changes in ourselves, we get excited. However, it is grunting work in the beginning. It can be an upheaval getting to the root. But it is so worth it. There will always be bumps in the road, when I hit one, I must get through it.

The truth is, I lose control when I hit those bumps. I am determined to be better.

  1. I am thankful for the ability to learn.
  2. I am thankful for the patience of others.
  3. I am thankful for answers when I seek them.
  4. I am thankful for the chance to write and share with others.
  5. I am thankful for the ability to see and understand.
  6. I am thankful for my choices.
  7. I am thankful I can turn around anytime.
  8. I am thankful God is forgiving.
  9. I am thankful for a song that just came on to remind me of happier times.
  10. I am thankful for my courage.

(1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV)

 13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

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Photo by Skyler Ewing on Pexels.com

Hey Y’all,

I came back to writing finally.

I am dealing with a lot of physical, emotional, and spiritual subjects as usual for all of us. We all have a lot to deal with daily. I want to say, I am willing to face it all. It is just a day at a time. Right?

Sunday, I felt touched by a short video I watched. I am botching it by summarizing what it said. Yesterday needed you today, we need you, and tomorrow we will need you, please do not quit. Do not give up. So many people care about you and love you. You are loved and needed.

Just because we do not talk deeply with everyone, does not mean we are not a hope for someone else. It also does not mean the same people who are not deep with us, are not giving us hope. Sometimes things suck.

The only way to get through the hard things in life is to face them We walk through those things, feel the feelings, and work through them. Taking the necessary steps is hard. No one said it would be easy or painless.

I have been dealing with chronic physical issues. I am also facing the fact that I need to deal with grief and loss. I am dealing with emotional and spiritual issues too. All of it has emotional and spiritual aspects. It all comes down to fear and anger. Anger because I am not in charge or better yet, in control.

Face everything and recover. We should look at it this way instead.

Face

Everything

And

Recover

Do you see, facing everything and recovering reveals fear? I have learned this in the past, but I need reminders. There is also a fact of me maybe facing things before, but finding even old things come back up because of not being perfect, I only dealt with them as far as I could understand it at the time.

Just because you work on things once or a thousand times, does not mean there is not more work to do.

I recently told someone that as much as I am sarcastic with I am also sarcastic with God and they told me they argued with God! This is someone whom I consider of a handful of people, I see, as the most devout  Christian I know.

At that moment, I admitted to myself that it was freeing because I had been mad at God for not granting me my wishes. Sarcasm is a form of anger. I am not okay because: I want to say I am doing great. I have no resentments; I am at peace with everything.

I am not okay because I am angry with God that He has allowed the death of precious loved ones, and that negative things keep happening.

In the meantime, I am dealing with these issues with a professional. I am also using the twelve-step program. It will work because God is not going anywhere. I have work to do and much to prepare for.

The biggest help is that 99% of my fears will not even happen.

I have a great support system. I must use my words instead of keeping everything bottled up.

God can manage all my emotions. He is not going to fall apart because I am mad at Him. It is going to be okay.

The most important thing I can do for myself is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Freezing and fleeing keep the problems hanging over my head. It becomes heavy baggage that stops me from receiving anything good because; everything is a complaint and nothing is good enough.

That said, I need to find those things for which I am thankful for:

  1. I am thankful for the support when I need it.
  2. I am thankful for the words to write.
  3. I am thankful for an unexpected visit.
  4. I am thankful for reminders and knowing how to take care of myself; even, in this time of waiting and seeing.
  5. I am thankful for Communion, forgiveness, and the ability to forgive.
  6. I am thankful for provisions.
  7. I am thankful for lymphedema pumps.
  8. I am thankful I can walk.
  9. I am thankful for my nurse’s supplies
  10. I am thankful I can pay my bills.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

We See What We Cannot Control But What About What We Can

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By Mel Robbins 2024

Hey, Y’all!

I did take an unplanned two-day break.

I am glad to be back again to share with you more that I have gleaned from Mel Robbins’ Make It Happen Workbook. I just finished watching training video two of “Make It Happen.” It has given me more to be excited about moving forward by thinking about the steps needed to complete my goals.

I think one of the things that helps is getting the obstacles of fear, excuses, and overthinking listed. You lessen the power of the obstacle by naming the obstacle. Working on the goal of fifteen to thirty minutes, each day consistently, for six weeks, is establishing your agreement to overcome the obstacle.  

I would say the next thing is to not give up and keep doing what is working and you will find you are different from being the person you were when first deciding what exactly it is you wanted to change in your life.

I am going by Mel Robbins’s teaching on this subject. However, I also learned when I was first in recovery it takes somewhere between twenty-one and twenty-eight days to make a habit and this is a scientific fact. Who knew this fact would come into play again, as I think about the goals I want to accomplish in the next six months?

The other thing she has added to the workbook is a place to record what I do each day to work towards each goal. This is a real help in being and staying consistent and showing the work I have done. It will be proof that I can change and will have changed.

The final thought in this workbook is if you all down and fail you get back up and go at it again.

I wanted to get more work done today because I felt guilty for the past two days of not doing anything about writing or working on the workbook. But each day has its limits and it is just as important to work within the parameters of each day and not get burned out.

I am looking forward to making it a priority for the men’s meeting on Tuesdays and doing my recovery meeting on Thursdays. These are things that have worked in the past and only added to my recovery, and personal, and spiritual growth.

Things I am Thankful For:

  1. The rides to and from the wound clinic.
  2. My nurse team.
  3. Having a real supper.
  4. Working towards changing myself today.
  5. I get the opportunity to be happy with myself.
  6. A nap I took today.
  7. My daily phone calls with a friend or two.

My Strengths:

  1. Determination to do what is necessary.
  2. Looking  at the positives of today
  3. Moving forward.
  4. Adapting to changes for a day.
  5. Not forgetting those who help me along the way.
  6. Sharing what I have learned.
  7. Practicing grace for others.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Focusing On The Fuel Tank For Each Area Of My Life II

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Hey, Y’all!

I apologize for the fact of failing to write about the different areas of my life. The fuel gauge that I am using as suggested by Mel Robbins, gives me a picture of where I am in each area of my life. I must know where I am before I know which way to go next.

  I- Health and Wellness

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Evening Routine
  3. Physical Health
  4. Mental Health

 II- Career, Money, School

  1. Career
  2. Money
  3. School
  4. Work/Life Balance

III- Relationships, Love, Friendships

  1. Friendships
  2. Family Relationships
  3. Love
  4. Making New Connections

IV- Happiness

  1. Happiness
  2. Hobbies
  3. Fun
  4. State Of Your Home

V- Purpose, Spirituality, and Meaning

  1. Purpose
  2. Spirituality
  3. Meaning
  4. Fulfillment

In each area of each section is a fuel gauge in which you find your location.

Empty- Depleted

1/4 – Meh

1/2 – Fine

3/4 – Good

Full- Energized

The next action is answering: Why do you feel this way? (Feelings)

Are there any behaviors or attitudes that contribute to why you feel this way? (Truth Finding-Facts) Only you know the truth.

It is important to be honest with ourselves. It is also important not to beat yourself up because that does not accomplish anything.

We cannot change what could be wrong if we do not know what it is and where we are.

As far as my journey is concerned in most areas, I do feel I am at ¼ of a tank on the fuel gauge. In some of the areas, I found myself feeling completely depleted or empty.

If I plan on reaching any goals, this fact-finding truth is valuable to me to make changes and reenergize myself.

Can this be any more related to recovery, as far as the HOW?

Honesty

Open-Minded

Willing

I have told friends I want to make more time and do better at being a friend. To live up to that, I know I am going to need better time-management skills.

I want to change and do better in all the areas of my life, there again Rome was not built in a day. I also cannot use that as an excuse to hardly do anything to change either. There is always room for improvement.

It is exciting to learn new things! The difference becomes when we use the newfound knowledge to crush the paralyzing fear we often face when questioning ourselves. I want things different from what they have been.

I know I can make things happen. It will take putting in the time and work while being honest. Working through the difficult stuff honestly, is what is going to make me free. I do not have to think of the hard work as hopeless. The more I work through, the more hopeful I will become for making 2024 my best year.

Things I like:

  1. Getting through the tough work.
  2. Breakfast for supper.
  3. Stand-up Comedians.
  4. Saying what I mean, meaning what I say, not saying it mean.
  5. Check Marking the Checklist.

Proverbs 9:10 (ESV)

10. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

    and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Focusing On The Fuel Tank For Each Area Of My Life

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Hey, Y’all!

I worked on the workbook again this morning. It is important to do the work. At the same time, I must live in the now, and the chores do not do themselves. I have been getting six or seven loads of laundry done, the last is in the dryer. I mention this because I had planned to complete a considerable number of tasks.

Plans do not always go the way you have them set in your head. Improvising becomes a necessary tool for the alternative. I did so with gritted teeth I must admit. When things do not go my way, I can spit rusty nails with the best of them.

Writing today’s blog entry is calming for me.

In watching the full training video this morning, I learned we each have immense potential. The potential we have is useless without action. We get excited, and we might feel motivated, but until we do something, it is just our heads in the clouds dreaming.

About an hour before someone was supposed to show up, I had to decide how to still make this day work regardless of their issues. Other people’s issues are not my issues. Now, I could sit here all day long thinking about how I might do the laundry. I still have a choice and I wanted to get up and make that laundry happen instead of thinking about it all day.

Having the potential to do the laundry was not going to be enough. Getting up and doing the laundry did get it done. It is the same way with goals. We can have the potential to set goals and even carry them out. However, until we start moving to make the goals happen, nothing is going to change even six months from now.

Now, as for the chores I wanted done, I have only been able to do part of my list so it might be wise to lower my expectations. The reason is that I am only one person. When I planned out the chores it was for two people working together. One man cut my power in half when he gave me the information, I would be doing the chores alone. I must be reasonable; it is all part of improvising.

We always get examples in lessons when we need them. I did not know I was going to get the chance to live this example out in my life. Yet here we are.

Those of you reading this, get this lesson, I am sure.

Things I am thankful for:

  1. I am thankful for clean laundry.
  2. I am thankful for exercise.
  3. I am thankful I can walk.
  4. I am thankful for practical lessons.
  5. I am thankful for rest.
  6. I am thankful for automatic washers.
  7. I am thankful for the heated dryers.

Philippians 4:13 (ESV)

13. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Planning The Rest Of 2024 To Make It Happen

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Make it Happen Workbook 2024 By Mel Robbins

Hey, Y’all!

I have completed the first workbook by Mel Robbins, “Make 2024 Your Best Year.”

In finishing the first workbook I have a l clearer picture of what I want to do, in planning the rest of 2024. I do feel more confident in moving forward with plans. I made a goal to start making things happen. This is barely scratching the surface.

I woke up this morning feeling unmotivated. However, as always in my phone call with a friend, we always claim for it to be a good day.

I wanted to start digging into the second workbook by Mel Robbins, “Make It Happen.” I did start digging and by the time I turned the page, I found I was in for a surprise! I found I wanted more goals.

I just want to say I am tired as I am writing this. Despite being tired I am determined to get through this day.

This part I just learned in the last few minutes. While determined I am also having a late lunch writing this entry, and felt compelled to pray, as I heard this song, so I texted a prayer over someone and I got a brand new spark of energy!

This is spiritual learning along the way.

Sometimes, you must ignore how you feel and do what you know. There is strength in praying, I believe that.

I know that a long time ago I was taught, that if you allow enough goodness to come into your life, the bad cannot stay. The bad would be allowing tiredness to win. I fought it and I will continue to fight it.

To get back to the workbook subject: I believe that by working towards enough good goals and doing them, I will change.

You can make goals all day long, you can feel something all day long, and think about it all day long! Until you take action, nothing changes! This is different I am usually unwilling to fight the tiredness. But, something changed in me, and something changed when I took action.

This lesson I received in writing thus far, is all about the workbook.

I have said this is my journey, and you who are reading this are on it with me right now. There seems to be a load of education in this journey. It brings a smile to my face.

I have watched only half of the first two parts of the training videos with this workbook. This is huge for me because, with only a couple of pages in the workbook, it is bringing me more hope for everything I am about to learn, and put it into action.

Even though I say, I want more goals I may learn that some goals may be grouped to make one goal. We shall see, what we see, and do what we can. I am not giving up.

Philippians 4:9 (ESV)

9. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

At 58 I Wonder What I Will Be When I Grow Up

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September 2023 Elephant Rock

Hey, Y’all!

I went to bed at eight-thirty last night, I intended to get somewhere between six and eight hours of sleep. I woke up three hours later and here I am now after midnight. I will smile through this.

I am fifty-eight and I am wondering what I will be when I grow up. This is because there are things left for me to do. I have happiness left to live out and things I am learning.

I am not just learning to love me I do love me. I do not mean this in a conceited way. For years, I hated who I saw in the mirror and inside my head. I was self-destructive and I stayed stuck inside the self-made prison. I wanted to love, but I did not know how to love. Everyone deserved love. I hurt on the inside, and I only knew how to hurt others.

I am thankful this has changed, and I am rebuilding my life piece by piece. It is a step-by-step process and has been a long journey.

Love is being willing to change. Love is letting go. Love is freeing yourself from bondage. Love holds no hostages. Love heals. Love always wins.

Two people I knew, died on the third day of this month 2024. I was afraid I was going to die just a couple of weeks before 2024 began. I even said to myself, I played too much! Of course, I deserved to die. I was afraid to die. I was not ready to die.

I have been on a healing journey for a while. I am still healing, and I am still learning. Love is winning.

Here is what I have learned: No matter what illness is; it is far deeper than illness. The roots are fear, anger, and hatred. It has a victim mentality. It plays the blame game, and nothing is ever my fault! “They did it to me. If it were not that thing in the way I would have gotten the job!”

“Look, Man! If you lived my life you would drink, smoke, and take pills too!”  If it, you, or they just would not have made me mad I would not have made the hole in the wall! It is your fault! No, they had it coming; they needed to hear the truth from me!”

“You do not know pain until you have known my pain. So just shut the heck up! Yes, these have been the examples of things I have said except, usually with expletives.

People have stood by me, and I am not just changing, I have changed, and my life has changed. I continue to learn more because there is always more action needed.

Forgiveness frees me. Forgiveness allows me to heal inside out. Dropping the rock keeps me from drowning! Working with others, sharing with others, and listening to others sharing with others is so valuable in healing because the message gets shared.

My faith has grown. God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and doing my part is healing me and it is working. Why stop doing what is working?

Now, I have shared all this to say, I am still doing the work in the workbook. I worked more on it yesterday. I will work on it again today, and I am finally ready to start planning. Once the plan is in place, then I will begin a second workbook by Mel Robbins “Make It Happen.”

These workbooks have asked me to ask others how I have changed. I have learned though if you are paying attention to those you surround yourself with and are doing the work, you do not have to ask them. They are already telling you how you are changing and have changed.

If you do the work, you cannot help but change!

Doing the work does not make you perfect. I make mistakes every day. I still oversleep. Thank goodness a friend kept calling me yesterday morning.

I say and do things I should not say and do. However, it is way less than I used to. I tell on-myself to those who have my best interest in mind. We work out a way for me to make things as right as possible and I move on.

Proverbs 16:3 (ESV)

3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.

I am ready to start living this 58th year.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Working My Workbook Prayerful Meditation Happy Easter

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St Joe Park St Francois County March 2024 By Boxcar Mike

Hey Y’all!

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates Easter!

March has gone by too soon for me.

I have worked on my workbook slowly. I look at what I want differently after seeing areas of my life and deciding how to do them with different results.

I find opening myself up to others and trying to learn new things along the way gives me new challenges and opportunities to gain experience. I get to put into practice the changes I want.

I have reflected on my life. There is much more I want. It takes doing the footwork to make the changes happen. I have not had the willingness as I do now to do the work required for changes. I wanted to take the work like a buffet taking what I want only; it does not work that way.

There is work required I may not want to do. It is in doing that work I do not want to do that the change will happen.

When I hit the bottom with my drinking, I said I wanted to be sober. While it has been a few twenty-four hours since my last drink and drug, that does not mean the insanity automatically stopped. I agree with the phrase for the stupid stuff we do, “When you do stupid stuff, you win stupid prizes.” Just because you decide to change your ways does not mean you escape the consequences of previous stupid stuff you have done.

Changing includes stopping the insanity I create. I can only choose to stop my insanity. I have no control over people, places, and things. This is why I choose to do things that force me to look at my life. I want to make the necessary changes to stop the insanity in my life. I also want to make sure that I am living in truth.

I do have a connection with God as I understand Him. A friend asked me to speak next weekend as I said yes, I could feel God say; “Do not lie to my children!” This includes me. I cannot change by lying to myself. This does not mean dumping my stuff, it means being honest. But I cannot be honest without an honest look at myself.

This means doing continuous work required for change. When you grow others can see it even when you cannot. It is all within the journey.

I have taken two weeks to write this blog post entry. Changes have happened. I ended up being ill this past weekend. So, I missed my opportunity to speak. It made me sad in ways but again, it was out of my control.

I have a lot of work ahead of me and I feel so far behind because I am at a slower pace. I am praying I am done with being sick. I am hoping to reclaim more time for my workbook and writing. I need to take inventory of my time and go back to trying the timeline method for my day to help me meet my deadlines and meet goals more efficiently.

I want to share seven things I like.

  1. Being able to write freely.
  2. Phone calls to and from friends and family to support each other.
  3. Being able to see God’s creation at work with a Solar Eclipse.
  4. Clean and clear counter space.
  5. The weekly and monthly appointments with my therapist.
  6. The memories that I can recall correctly.
  7.  Sweet and funny cards.

Five Things I will do to make changes:

  1. Commit a specific time for each task.
  2. Allow myself the freedom to be happy.
  3. Go through shelves and closets to purge the stuff I will never use and throw out or give away.
  4. Allow my helper to start cleaning my carpet today.
  5. Make more time for people I love and miss but not forget the others I still love and do get time to be with. Remembering nothing and no one will be perfect here on this earth, including me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Making 2024 My Best Year My One-Word

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Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Hey Y’all!

I am about three months behind on planning for my best year. I am doing something I have done before and that is taking advantage of a Mel Robbins print-out workbook challenge. “Making 2024 Your Best Year”

My original thought was if I could just prevent myself from needing hospitalization or surgeries. Along with this, I want myself to be healthier and prevent infections. But I do want more. I want a real life.

One of the things to first acknowledge is to know where I am, so I can know where I want to go.

I have unplugged and now it is time to restart. One of my experiences this past week was using Google to get to a friend’s workplace. Google does not always get you to your destination! It would be best if you had specific directions. This means asking for directions instead of assuming you can find your destination.

Other people’s experiences and knowledge can go a long way if we just listen.

My objective this year is to make things better. In the past, I have rehashed scenarios, made unrealistic goals, and promised to do better than I was capable. I made myself crazy. I have wasted money, and energy, and allowed the stress to take a toll on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

While I may be behind timewise, I can only start from where I am.

I usually pick a word for the year. That said, I have picked start as my word for the year.

I need to start from where I am. I will start making my routine. I will start doing as I say I am going to do. I will start making things better. I will start being responsible just for myself. I will start blogging regularly. I will start decluttering my mind. I will start showing up for myself.

7 Things That Make Me Happy:

  1. Having A Clean Home
  2. Gray Days
  3. Good Food
  4. Good Friends
  5. Good Family
  6. Praying and Meditating
  7. Writing

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am Healing.
  2. I Can Walk.
  3. I am Not Responsible for Other People’s Feelings and Responses.
  4. God Has Brought Me Through So Much.
  5. My Family.
  6. I am Changing and I Have Made Changes.
  7. I Have the Ability to Do the Next Right Thing.
  8. I am Gaining Physical Strength.
  9. God’s Blessings and God’s Forgiveness.
  10. People Want Me Included for Me.

There is always something for each one of us to be grateful for even in tough times. I put thought into each one of the things I am grateful for and each one of the things that make me happy. The things listed are not just a grocery list.

My limitations are more than I would prefer. Such as when my body needs rest, or I cannot do a hill with just my cane. When projects in my home require waiting until someone can help otherwise I risk falling.

I have a long way to go in terms of being able to be healed and independent but, I am farther along than in the past few years.

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Thank You for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

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May 2016

Hey Y’all!

I am back!

Right before Christmas, I was in ICU for a day and I was moved to a regular room for another several days. I remained ill for some time and the rest has been trying to get back to life.

I am very blessed to have people praying, calling, and answering when I call as well. I also received a few cards for which I am grateful and over three months late in thanking people for them.

I struggle with trying to find a normal routine.

Tonight, something happened to help me find my happy place in writing again. A teenage Boy Scout interviewed me! His dad, who is a friend of mine, was present. But it was in his dad’s prompting and his asking me questions that I realized I want to organize my thoughts better and be more dedicated to the things I love which also enrich my spirituality.

The funny part in all of this is they were coming after a scout meeting to give jump the battery of a car I am driving at present. But they more than helped me. I hope that I was of help to them also.

I had every intention of going to bed early, but I became excited enough to write.

Everything that I love points back to God. It is because of God that I am reminded of everything I love that feeds the soul and connection between others, me, and God. I am here because of God and others are around because of God and connecting with my soul seeing me when I do not.

Sometimes chance meetings or interviews are just divine appointments reminding us that we are genuine and that we have a message to share. The most important message sometimes that we have to share comes from deep within our souls that we also need to hear.

What I heard from my friend sharing with his son about my story in that little bit of time reminds me more, we are walking each other home. It feeds my soul. We feed each other.

The boy inside of me needs to hear the message inside of me in my soul. If you catch me most days, I deny how I love people; but I am wrong. I love people! I want to know, share, and exchange with others our stories.

I say I hate people in a way to deflect because of the hurt I have caused and the hurt I felt. I say it sometimes to think that I am being funny. What I truly hate is the fact that each of us can hurt each other. It is painful and cuts us deeply with just a careless word.

Now there is another point here, and that is knowing when you must stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be steam-rolled. Sometimes that includes a real fight and war. It means defending yourself and what is yours.

Is that not always the question, where is the balance? We find balance in the true message. Let’s keep seeking, walking, helping, loving, hoping, and praying.

It is good to be back, I love y’all!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!