There is so much to share tonight. I dedicate this to our families and loved ones, who have not given up on us. May we continue our walk forward.
Some of our biggest teachers come from the mommas and the grandmas who pray without ceasing on our behalf. It doesn’t matter what you believe; it’s not about that.
I had no intention of writing tonight. However, I went to a meeting and upon returning there was a package at my apartment door waiting for me.
I couldn’t wait to unwrap it as the address and name it contained was from my mom and her husband. Both people I love dearly!
Inside were shirts which I needed and a size that works and my favorite colors. I couldn’t wait to get a comfy shirt on, it had long sleeves. The kind you can roll half way up and it had a pocket!
What a beautiful gift! Thank you and for your prayers, Mom and B,!
Thank you also Grandma for always praying.
Some people have walked this journey with me the past several months of really getting honest with a program of action. I have a lot of anger in the past and it’s still with me in some ways.
But this gift reminded me of grace and love. I am currently working on finally letting go of the anger to free me up. As long as I hold on to anger, I will never be able to walk in the grace I have been given. I will never be able to extend that grace until I let go of the anger.
I have been holding on to all these bags of rocks in case they were needed. Don’t you know I want to throw these rocks at people who I get vibes off that remind me of certain people from my past.
But those bags of rocks have been holding me down. They weigh me down. They cause pain for me. Not the other person. The traps I set for others have trapped me. They have enclosed the walls on me. I am suffocating myself.
We are so busy often looking for an answer to prayer, our prayers, our momma’s prayers, our grandmother’s prayers, our friend’s prayers, when we ultimately, are the answer to prayer.
All we have to do, is let go and everyone’s prayer is answered. We get to be free. That’s what I want today on my journey. It is time to let go and be free.
It’s in the program of action.
- Admit my life is unmanageable.
- I get to ask to be restored to sanity
- Turn my will and life over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory. All my secrets are written down. Lots of anger and resentments.
- Admitted to God, myself, and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. (Everything I have held on to).
- We’re entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. (Dropping our bags of rocks).
There’s more to share but this is where I am. I know in a previous post I said I was at step 7, but this is where I am.
I get to accept what has happened and I get to pray for those in my 5th step that I hold ill will against. This is how I become the answer to my own prayer and everyone else who has been praying for me.
It’s going to take walking in the grace to get through this step. If I do this then I have a shot at sanity today. I am not affected by some emotional mental disorder if I just let go.
If I can be free, it’s worth it.
Thanks for Reading!
This has been another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike! Over and out.
God Bless y’all everybody!