Hi Family and Friends,
Today’s writing and points to ponder would be based on several questions I keep asking myself about other people. Without further explanations I will start listing the questions.
- Do I believe the best about a person?
- Do I believe the worst about a person?
- Is it easier to believe the or the worst about someone?
- What is my track record for believing about a person?
- Why is it easier one way or the other and how does it apply here?
- How much history do I have with the person in question?
- If I have a negative fact with this person can I forgive it and move on with this person?
- Can we both still have our needs met in the arrangement we have with one another?
- Will I be hurting this person by asking for my needs to be met?
- Will I be hurting myself by not getting my needs met?
This is like a mini inventory of questions; I need to ask myself when I start feeling guilty. Not everything is my fault when something negative happens.
As someone in recovery I can be honest and tell you both in recovery and out of recovery I have made bad choices. The difference is I try to fix them today if they are truly mine to fix.
It means taking responsibility for my side of the street. Because I have been in the wrong so many times, I am willing to believe the worst about others. I also take responsibility for things that are not my responsibility.
Sometimes it is hard for me to separate the friendship part of a work type relationship and let them know my needs. I have also been guilty of asking too much of just true friends.
Somewhere in the middle is a balance and learning to work it out peacefully in this messy world.
It is never okay to let oneself off the hook for wrongs done. We still have the responsibility for clearing away the wreckage. We also must realize what is not our responsibility and not let it hook us like a fish.
That can be manipulation. That is why questions are always needed to check our motives.
Once we know better, we can do better. I am a believer in that choice.
10 Things I am Thankful For:
- I am thankful I do not want to intentionally hurt others today.
- I am thankful for choices today.
- I am thankful I want clear motives today.
- I am thankful I feel a relationship with God being restored.
- I am thankful I can be honest today.
- I am thankful for friends and professionals helping me.
- I am thankful I can help others.
- I am thankful I see the difference between needs and wants.
- I am thankful I can share part of me today and be real.
- I am thankful for me not giving up today.
Thanks for reading!
This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!
God Bless Y’All Everybody!