Change

Still Working On Goals Happy May Day!

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Hey, Y’all!

Here we are at 1:54 am. I cannot believe I am up this late. I went to bed tired, and I was sure I would fall asleep. Instead, I am right here writing to you all. There has been a week or so lapse in entering any blog entries because it has been putting in the work on my base goals.

I am fighting tiredness and feeling sick off and on.

I am happy I have my calendars filled out and ready to go for the month. Having the calendars completed and the ability to make my lists each day helps me feel more organized and goes a long way in being initiative-taking each day. I am realizing I have work to do on the inside of myself to be more assertive in the right way in situations.

There are emotions I am fighting that have led to depression that I must overcome.

I tell myself that it all will be better tomorrow. It may take more than tomorrow to feel better. Even during the times, I say I give up; I have not given up. I still get back up.

It sucks at times because a group may be going through our life lessons at the same time. For me, it is always hopeful I have not burned new bridges that have taken years to build. I also hope I am not disappearing from older friendships.

The calendars and lists: they tell me where I am so I can figure out where I am going. I want to excel at a faster rate than what it is taking and that is where the emotions and doubt come in. It is where I fight myself because I want to be better.

Inside my head, I scream you must do better! I am impatient with myself.

I keep holding on to a friend’s words he said to me about eight or nine years ago. “It will not always be this way.” I am angry at the slowness in myself. It seems and looks like others can just change overnight. The truth is I know it took them longer as well.

It all goes back to cautioning myself to not compare ourselves with one another.

We never know where another person is at their starting point of change. We do not know the work everyone else had to do to get where they are. We do not know what sacrifices each of us has made to do better or to get better.

To make a real change in this life gets to the core of our being. We run the gamut of emotions from screaming, crying, laughing, and silence. We must keep hanging on for one more day. I will get through these twenty-four hours just as I have all the past days.

  1. I am thankful to have courage.
  2. I am thankful for my portion.
  3. I am thankful for smiles.
  4. I am thankful for hope.
  5. I am thankful that change does happen.
  6. I am thankful for life lessons.
  7. I am thankful for others helping me figure out what I cannot figure out alone.

Acts 17:28 ESV

28 for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

We See What We Cannot Control But What About What We Can

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By Mel Robbins 2024

Hey, Y’all!

I did take an unplanned two-day break.

I am glad to be back again to share with you more that I have gleaned from Mel Robbins’ Make It Happen Workbook. I just finished watching training video two of “Make It Happen.” It has given me more to be excited about moving forward by thinking about the steps needed to complete my goals.

I think one of the things that helps is getting the obstacles of fear, excuses, and overthinking listed. You lessen the power of the obstacle by naming the obstacle. Working on the goal of fifteen to thirty minutes, each day consistently, for six weeks, is establishing your agreement to overcome the obstacle.  

I would say the next thing is to not give up and keep doing what is working and you will find you are different from being the person you were when first deciding what exactly it is you wanted to change in your life.

I am going by Mel Robbins’s teaching on this subject. However, I also learned when I was first in recovery it takes somewhere between twenty-one and twenty-eight days to make a habit and this is a scientific fact. Who knew this fact would come into play again, as I think about the goals I want to accomplish in the next six months?

The other thing she has added to the workbook is a place to record what I do each day to work towards each goal. This is a real help in being and staying consistent and showing the work I have done. It will be proof that I can change and will have changed.

The final thought in this workbook is if you all down and fail you get back up and go at it again.

I wanted to get more work done today because I felt guilty for the past two days of not doing anything about writing or working on the workbook. But each day has its limits and it is just as important to work within the parameters of each day and not get burned out.

I am looking forward to making it a priority for the men’s meeting on Tuesdays and doing my recovery meeting on Thursdays. These are things that have worked in the past and only added to my recovery, and personal, and spiritual growth.

Things I am Thankful For:

  1. The rides to and from the wound clinic.
  2. My nurse team.
  3. Having a real supper.
  4. Working towards changing myself today.
  5. I get the opportunity to be happy with myself.
  6. A nap I took today.
  7. My daily phone calls with a friend or two.

My Strengths:

  1. Determination to do what is necessary.
  2. Looking  at the positives of today
  3. Moving forward.
  4. Adapting to changes for a day.
  5. Not forgetting those who help me along the way.
  6. Sharing what I have learned.
  7. Practicing grace for others.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Focusing On The Fuel Tank For Each Area Of My Life II

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Hey, Y’all!

I apologize for the fact of failing to write about the different areas of my life. The fuel gauge that I am using as suggested by Mel Robbins, gives me a picture of where I am in each area of my life. I must know where I am before I know which way to go next.

  I- Health and Wellness

  1. Morning Routine
  2. Evening Routine
  3. Physical Health
  4. Mental Health

 II- Career, Money, School

  1. Career
  2. Money
  3. School
  4. Work/Life Balance

III- Relationships, Love, Friendships

  1. Friendships
  2. Family Relationships
  3. Love
  4. Making New Connections

IV- Happiness

  1. Happiness
  2. Hobbies
  3. Fun
  4. State Of Your Home

V- Purpose, Spirituality, and Meaning

  1. Purpose
  2. Spirituality
  3. Meaning
  4. Fulfillment

In each area of each section is a fuel gauge in which you find your location.

Empty- Depleted

1/4 – Meh

1/2 – Fine

3/4 – Good

Full- Energized

The next action is answering: Why do you feel this way? (Feelings)

Are there any behaviors or attitudes that contribute to why you feel this way? (Truth Finding-Facts) Only you know the truth.

It is important to be honest with ourselves. It is also important not to beat yourself up because that does not accomplish anything.

We cannot change what could be wrong if we do not know what it is and where we are.

As far as my journey is concerned in most areas, I do feel I am at ¼ of a tank on the fuel gauge. In some of the areas, I found myself feeling completely depleted or empty.

If I plan on reaching any goals, this fact-finding truth is valuable to me to make changes and reenergize myself.

Can this be any more related to recovery, as far as the HOW?

Honesty

Open-Minded

Willing

I have told friends I want to make more time and do better at being a friend. To live up to that, I know I am going to need better time-management skills.

I want to change and do better in all the areas of my life, there again Rome was not built in a day. I also cannot use that as an excuse to hardly do anything to change either. There is always room for improvement.

It is exciting to learn new things! The difference becomes when we use the newfound knowledge to crush the paralyzing fear we often face when questioning ourselves. I want things different from what they have been.

I know I can make things happen. It will take putting in the time and work while being honest. Working through the difficult stuff honestly, is what is going to make me free. I do not have to think of the hard work as hopeless. The more I work through, the more hopeful I will become for making 2024 my best year.

Things I like:

  1. Getting through the tough work.
  2. Breakfast for supper.
  3. Stand-up Comedians.
  4. Saying what I mean, meaning what I say, not saying it mean.
  5. Check Marking the Checklist.

Proverbs 9:10 (ESV)

10. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

    and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Planning The Rest Of 2024 To Make It Happen

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Make it Happen Workbook 2024 By Mel Robbins

Hey, Y’all!

I have completed the first workbook by Mel Robbins, “Make 2024 Your Best Year.”

In finishing the first workbook I have a l clearer picture of what I want to do, in planning the rest of 2024. I do feel more confident in moving forward with plans. I made a goal to start making things happen. This is barely scratching the surface.

I woke up this morning feeling unmotivated. However, as always in my phone call with a friend, we always claim for it to be a good day.

I wanted to start digging into the second workbook by Mel Robbins, “Make It Happen.” I did start digging and by the time I turned the page, I found I was in for a surprise! I found I wanted more goals.

I just want to say I am tired as I am writing this. Despite being tired I am determined to get through this day.

This part I just learned in the last few minutes. While determined I am also having a late lunch writing this entry, and felt compelled to pray, as I heard this song, so I texted a prayer over someone and I got a brand new spark of energy!

This is spiritual learning along the way.

Sometimes, you must ignore how you feel and do what you know. There is strength in praying, I believe that.

I know that a long time ago I was taught, that if you allow enough goodness to come into your life, the bad cannot stay. The bad would be allowing tiredness to win. I fought it and I will continue to fight it.

To get back to the workbook subject: I believe that by working towards enough good goals and doing them, I will change.

You can make goals all day long, you can feel something all day long, and think about it all day long! Until you take action, nothing changes! This is different I am usually unwilling to fight the tiredness. But, something changed in me, and something changed when I took action.

This lesson I received in writing thus far, is all about the workbook.

I have said this is my journey, and you who are reading this are on it with me right now. There seems to be a load of education in this journey. It brings a smile to my face.

I have watched only half of the first two parts of the training videos with this workbook. This is huge for me because, with only a couple of pages in the workbook, it is bringing me more hope for everything I am about to learn, and put it into action.

Even though I say, I want more goals I may learn that some goals may be grouped to make one goal. We shall see, what we see, and do what we can. I am not giving up.

Philippians 4:9 (ESV)

9. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

At 58 I Wonder What I Will Be When I Grow Up

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September 2023 Elephant Rock

Hey, Y’all!

I went to bed at eight-thirty last night, I intended to get somewhere between six and eight hours of sleep. I woke up three hours later and here I am now after midnight. I will smile through this.

I am fifty-eight and I am wondering what I will be when I grow up. This is because there are things left for me to do. I have happiness left to live out and things I am learning.

I am not just learning to love me I do love me. I do not mean this in a conceited way. For years, I hated who I saw in the mirror and inside my head. I was self-destructive and I stayed stuck inside the self-made prison. I wanted to love, but I did not know how to love. Everyone deserved love. I hurt on the inside, and I only knew how to hurt others.

I am thankful this has changed, and I am rebuilding my life piece by piece. It is a step-by-step process and has been a long journey.

Love is being willing to change. Love is letting go. Love is freeing yourself from bondage. Love holds no hostages. Love heals. Love always wins.

Two people I knew, died on the third day of this month 2024. I was afraid I was going to die just a couple of weeks before 2024 began. I even said to myself, I played too much! Of course, I deserved to die. I was afraid to die. I was not ready to die.

I have been on a healing journey for a while. I am still healing, and I am still learning. Love is winning.

Here is what I have learned: No matter what illness is; it is far deeper than illness. The roots are fear, anger, and hatred. It has a victim mentality. It plays the blame game, and nothing is ever my fault! “They did it to me. If it were not that thing in the way I would have gotten the job!”

“Look, Man! If you lived my life you would drink, smoke, and take pills too!”  If it, you, or they just would not have made me mad I would not have made the hole in the wall! It is your fault! No, they had it coming; they needed to hear the truth from me!”

“You do not know pain until you have known my pain. So just shut the heck up! Yes, these have been the examples of things I have said except, usually with expletives.

People have stood by me, and I am not just changing, I have changed, and my life has changed. I continue to learn more because there is always more action needed.

Forgiveness frees me. Forgiveness allows me to heal inside out. Dropping the rock keeps me from drowning! Working with others, sharing with others, and listening to others sharing with others is so valuable in healing because the message gets shared.

My faith has grown. God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and doing my part is healing me and it is working. Why stop doing what is working?

Now, I have shared all this to say, I am still doing the work in the workbook. I worked more on it yesterday. I will work on it again today, and I am finally ready to start planning. Once the plan is in place, then I will begin a second workbook by Mel Robbins “Make It Happen.”

These workbooks have asked me to ask others how I have changed. I have learned though if you are paying attention to those you surround yourself with and are doing the work, you do not have to ask them. They are already telling you how you are changing and have changed.

If you do the work, you cannot help but change!

Doing the work does not make you perfect. I make mistakes every day. I still oversleep. Thank goodness a friend kept calling me yesterday morning.

I say and do things I should not say and do. However, it is way less than I used to. I tell on-myself to those who have my best interest in mind. We work out a way for me to make things as right as possible and I move on.

Proverbs 16:3 (ESV)

3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.

I am ready to start living this 58th year.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Working My Workbook Prayerful Meditation Happy Easter

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St Joe Park St Francois County March 2024 By Boxcar Mike

Hey Y’all!

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates Easter!

March has gone by too soon for me.

I have worked on my workbook slowly. I look at what I want differently after seeing areas of my life and deciding how to do them with different results.

I find opening myself up to others and trying to learn new things along the way gives me new challenges and opportunities to gain experience. I get to put into practice the changes I want.

I have reflected on my life. There is much more I want. It takes doing the footwork to make the changes happen. I have not had the willingness as I do now to do the work required for changes. I wanted to take the work like a buffet taking what I want only; it does not work that way.

There is work required I may not want to do. It is in doing that work I do not want to do that the change will happen.

When I hit the bottom with my drinking, I said I wanted to be sober. While it has been a few twenty-four hours since my last drink and drug, that does not mean the insanity automatically stopped. I agree with the phrase for the stupid stuff we do, “When you do stupid stuff, you win stupid prizes.” Just because you decide to change your ways does not mean you escape the consequences of previous stupid stuff you have done.

Changing includes stopping the insanity I create. I can only choose to stop my insanity. I have no control over people, places, and things. This is why I choose to do things that force me to look at my life. I want to make the necessary changes to stop the insanity in my life. I also want to make sure that I am living in truth.

I do have a connection with God as I understand Him. A friend asked me to speak next weekend as I said yes, I could feel God say; “Do not lie to my children!” This includes me. I cannot change by lying to myself. This does not mean dumping my stuff, it means being honest. But I cannot be honest without an honest look at myself.

This means doing continuous work required for change. When you grow others can see it even when you cannot. It is all within the journey.

I have taken two weeks to write this blog post entry. Changes have happened. I ended up being ill this past weekend. So, I missed my opportunity to speak. It made me sad in ways but again, it was out of my control.

I have a lot of work ahead of me and I feel so far behind because I am at a slower pace. I am praying I am done with being sick. I am hoping to reclaim more time for my workbook and writing. I need to take inventory of my time and go back to trying the timeline method for my day to help me meet my deadlines and meet goals more efficiently.

I want to share seven things I like.

  1. Being able to write freely.
  2. Phone calls to and from friends and family to support each other.
  3. Being able to see God’s creation at work with a Solar Eclipse.
  4. Clean and clear counter space.
  5. The weekly and monthly appointments with my therapist.
  6. The memories that I can recall correctly.
  7.  Sweet and funny cards.

Five Things I will do to make changes:

  1. Commit a specific time for each task.
  2. Allow myself the freedom to be happy.
  3. Go through shelves and closets to purge the stuff I will never use and throw out or give away.
  4. Allow my helper to start cleaning my carpet today.
  5. Make more time for people I love and miss but not forget the others I still love and do get time to be with. Remembering nothing and no one will be perfect here on this earth, including me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Making 2024 My Best Year My One-Word

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Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Hey Y’all!

I am about three months behind on planning for my best year. I am doing something I have done before and that is taking advantage of a Mel Robbins print-out workbook challenge. “Making 2024 Your Best Year”

My original thought was if I could just prevent myself from needing hospitalization or surgeries. Along with this, I want myself to be healthier and prevent infections. But I do want more. I want a real life.

One of the things to first acknowledge is to know where I am, so I can know where I want to go.

I have unplugged and now it is time to restart. One of my experiences this past week was using Google to get to a friend’s workplace. Google does not always get you to your destination! It would be best if you had specific directions. This means asking for directions instead of assuming you can find your destination.

Other people’s experiences and knowledge can go a long way if we just listen.

My objective this year is to make things better. In the past, I have rehashed scenarios, made unrealistic goals, and promised to do better than I was capable. I made myself crazy. I have wasted money, and energy, and allowed the stress to take a toll on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

While I may be behind timewise, I can only start from where I am.

I usually pick a word for the year. That said, I have picked start as my word for the year.

I need to start from where I am. I will start making my routine. I will start doing as I say I am going to do. I will start making things better. I will start being responsible just for myself. I will start blogging regularly. I will start decluttering my mind. I will start showing up for myself.

7 Things That Make Me Happy:

  1. Having A Clean Home
  2. Gray Days
  3. Good Food
  4. Good Friends
  5. Good Family
  6. Praying and Meditating
  7. Writing

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am Healing.
  2. I Can Walk.
  3. I am Not Responsible for Other People’s Feelings and Responses.
  4. God Has Brought Me Through So Much.
  5. My Family.
  6. I am Changing and I Have Made Changes.
  7. I Have the Ability to Do the Next Right Thing.
  8. I am Gaining Physical Strength.
  9. God’s Blessings and God’s Forgiveness.
  10. People Want Me Included for Me.

There is always something for each one of us to be grateful for even in tough times. I put thought into each one of the things I am grateful for and each one of the things that make me happy. The things listed are not just a grocery list.

My limitations are more than I would prefer. Such as when my body needs rest, or I cannot do a hill with just my cane. When projects in my home require waiting until someone can help otherwise I risk falling.

I have a long way to go in terms of being able to be healed and independent but, I am farther along than in the past few years.

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Thank You for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

May 2016

Hey Y’all!

I am back!

Right before Christmas, I was in ICU for a day and I was moved to a regular room for another several days. I remained ill for some time and the rest has been trying to get back to life.

I am very blessed to have people praying, calling, and answering when I call as well. I also received a few cards for which I am grateful and over three months late in thanking people for them.

I struggle with trying to find a normal routine.

Tonight, something happened to help me find my happy place in writing again. A teenage Boy Scout interviewed me! His dad, who is a friend of mine, was present. But it was in his dad’s prompting and his asking me questions that I realized I want to organize my thoughts better and be more dedicated to the things I love which also enrich my spirituality.

The funny part in all of this is they were coming after a scout meeting to give jump the battery of a car I am driving at present. But they more than helped me. I hope that I was of help to them also.

I had every intention of going to bed early, but I became excited enough to write.

Everything that I love points back to God. It is because of God that I am reminded of everything I love that feeds the soul and connection between others, me, and God. I am here because of God and others are around because of God and connecting with my soul seeing me when I do not.

Sometimes chance meetings or interviews are just divine appointments reminding us that we are genuine and that we have a message to share. The most important message sometimes that we have to share comes from deep within our souls that we also need to hear.

What I heard from my friend sharing with his son about my story in that little bit of time reminds me more, we are walking each other home. It feeds my soul. We feed each other.

The boy inside of me needs to hear the message inside of me in my soul. If you catch me most days, I deny how I love people; but I am wrong. I love people! I want to know, share, and exchange with others our stories.

I say I hate people in a way to deflect because of the hurt I have caused and the hurt I felt. I say it sometimes to think that I am being funny. What I truly hate is the fact that each of us can hurt each other. It is painful and cuts us deeply with just a careless word.

Now there is another point here, and that is knowing when you must stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be steam-rolled. Sometimes that includes a real fight and war. It means defending yourself and what is yours.

Is that not always the question, where is the balance? We find balance in the true message. Let’s keep seeking, walking, helping, loving, hoping, and praying.

It is good to be back, I love y’all!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

My Journey For The Past Three Months

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My Patio

Hey Y’all, 

Today is my first attempt at writing about my journey currently and what has happened in the almost three months break which I never intended.  

I have experienced some short-lived joy and some sadness, but mostly doing what I need for my health. There have been at least two surgeries and two inpatient hospitalizations. It started as soon as I returned from visiting my mama and attending my grandma’s funeral. 

I also lost my tomatoes and jalapeno peppers which were making me happy to have living things growing. Also, my patio has been replaced with new dirt and rock. I do feel getting the dirt replaced was a blessing considering the state did that to get rid of the lead in our ground. 

I am healing from having the head of one of my bones taken from my foot. I hope to finally get the stitches taken out this week coming up. I am supposed to see a vascular surgeon next week. Some of this I feel is routine when it is not supposed to be. 

There have been lots of prayers on my behalf that make me feel grateful. Did I mention life stops for no one? Well, let me be one to tell you it does not stop, at least not until you draw that last breath. But then it is only the one that draws that last breath that it ends for on this side of everlasting life. 

My mama and friends keep me going. Without my mama I am convinced I would be a ridiculous fool and I guess I do behave as such sometimes. 

I am also currently going through things such as trying to keep life as simple as possible, but it feels rough much of the time. People talking behind your back does add stress. I can say people are ignorant because they are ignorant of the facts of what is needed to live my life. 

I am challenging myself to post pictures of my apartment and to prove as a single person you can keep a house clean daily and that you do not live in filth. Even through the holidays. Not that I have always been perfect but to prove I am not an unclean person. These are the types of things people make assumptions about, especially if you are a smoker. 

I will put in extra work because I want to do the extra work for myself and do what makes me happy. So, it is a win/win. Shut people’s mouths and be satisfied. 

I am not decorating this year because there is no need to. I do keep cards and do try to send them, but it is not as important to me as living happily and having peace. 

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. Besides, are not the true decorations in the heart and living a life of thankfulness? Holidays are not a time for competition, to keep up with others or to try to outdo someone. 

You give of yourself and the true gifts that you were born with as we try to do each day. 

No one’s journey is easy. So, should our aim not be for love, peace, and happiness? This is where we connect and find joy. 

  • I am thankful for life.  
  • I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. 
  • I am thankful I have gratitude during storms.  
  • I am thankful to share what I have with others. 
  • I am thankful for the connection. 
  • I am thankful for those who remind me: “Praise The Lord Mike!” 
  • I am thankful for the gift of writing and connecting with God. 
  • I am thankful man is not the true judge. 
  • I am thankful that joy comes in the morning. 
  • I am thankful for a clean safe home

I may fall and fall hard but I am getting up! 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV) 
In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out! 

God Bless Y’all, Everybody! 

If Forgiveness Was Easy Would It Be Forgiving?

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Remembering my plants 2023

Hey, Y’All,

It has been a while since my last blog post entry. It seems I say that starting every entry.

Going through my journey has taught me a lot of life lessons. Some of those lessons I keep repeating. Some lessons I cannot seem to grasp. It is very similar to banging my head against the wall.

Before I share my experience lesson with forgiveness, I want to share I did celebrate 19 years of sobriety and clean time. You see this time is not possible without the work put into it. It is done because people have helped place tools before me and their help in guiding me.

Forgiveness comes down to letting go of my thoughts and realigning them with harmony in this life. It takes prayer and asking forgiveness for myself. Even in what I imagine as harm to myself I can cause harm to others. In most cases, I have done just that.

I must realize once more that I am powerless over people, places, and things. My dependence upon God in this lesson is vital yet, I feel far away. I am asking for his help and again letting go of the rock that will for sure drown me.

Forgiveness is akin to going through grief to process everything.

This weekend may not be the healthiest I have been coping with the sadness by eating comfort foods and being thankful for the same plants that were destroyed through what I perceived as harmful to me.

Someone else gave them to give me happiness and hope. I went through anger and perhaps some anger is still left. I am mostly sad and feel bad that I allowed it to make me angry. Then I cried and felt bad that perhaps I even appeared ungrateful for the original gift. I am grateful I was given the chance to grow something living.

My tomatoes were just beginning to grow, and the peppers were just multiplying. To have it all stopped by things beyond my control was heartbreaking!

All of life and living things and beings are a gift. How blessed we are to experience life in different ways.

Just like anything else you work for and work through, forgiveness means freedom.

Forgiveness has become another lesson in freedom and once more doing the next right thing. It is important to be the best version of me I can be.

The best version of me means being good to others and myself. It means taking care of myself and doing what is necessary to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Forgiveness means I am not blocking any healing.

Change is uncomfortable but necessary. I must do whatever is necessary to make it through this situation at hand. Including finding a healthy closure so it can be put to rest. It will take physical work to make the symbolic pieces laid to rest. I want peace more than being right. I must remind myself of how often I have been forgiven.

This has been one of the hardest lessons to walk through.

Colossians 3:13 (ESV)

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All, Everybody!