Checking Off Our Needs List And Reality

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
train on railways during nighttime

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Hi Family and Friends,

Today’s writing and points to ponder would be based on several questions I keep asking myself about other people. Without further explanations I will start listing the questions.

  1. Do I believe the best about a person?
  2. Do I believe the worst about a person?
  3. Is it easier to believe the or the worst about someone?
  4. What is my track record for believing about a person?
  5. Why is it easier one way or the other and how does it apply here?
  6. How much history do I have with the person in question?
  7. If I have a negative fact with this person can I forgive it and move on with this person?
  8. Can we both still have our needs met in the arrangement we have with one another?
  9. Will I be hurting this person by asking for my needs to be met?
  10. Will I be hurting myself by not getting my needs met?

This is like a mini inventory of questions; I need to ask myself when I start feeling guilty. Not everything is my fault when something negative happens.

As someone in recovery I can be honest and tell you both in recovery and out of recovery I have made bad choices. The difference is I try to fix them today if they are truly mine to fix.

It means taking responsibility for my side of the street. Because I have been in the wrong so many times, I am willing to believe the worst about others. I also take responsibility for things that are not my responsibility.

Sometimes it is hard for me to separate the friendship part of a work type relationship and let them know my needs. I have also been guilty of asking too much of just true friends.

Somewhere in the middle is a balance and learning to work it out peacefully in this messy world.

It is never okay to let oneself off the hook for wrongs done. We still have the responsibility for clearing away the wreckage. We also must realize what is not our responsibility and not let it hook us like a fish.

That can be manipulation. That is why questions are always needed to check our motives.

Once we know better, we can do better. I am a believer in that choice.

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am thankful I do not want to intentionally hurt others today.
  2. I am thankful for choices today.
  3. I am thankful I want clear motives today.
  4. I am thankful I feel a relationship with God being restored.
  5. I am thankful I can be honest today.
  6. I am thankful for friends and professionals helping me.
  7. I am thankful I can help others.
  8. I am thankful I see the difference between needs and wants.
  9. I am thankful I can share part of me today and be real.
  10. I am thankful for me not giving up today.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All Everybody!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Hope So We Don’t Give Up

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Hi Family and Friends,

Each time I get at the keyboard to really be determined to follow through, my writing seems to be directed. Its like I get a slight clue and feels uncertain until it hits home.

I knew the title would be something about being under construction. Sometimes I feel like I need to wear a sign saying I am under construction or, I am just a work in progress. I also think it would be easier if others wore their signs too!

Wouldn’t it be easier, if we knew exactly who it was that lost hope, I mean has no hope left? To really know what that looks like.

I have lived through a few times where I felt I lost all hope. However, I made it through somehow. Evidently, I was able to hang on tighter. However, some people did not get that grip, they slipped, and they did not wake up today. They ran out of hope and they felt there was no one they could tell that to.

Their friends, colleagues, and loved ones are left behind grieving.

I have found I am judgmental of other people. I have a history with accusing others of being judgmental of me. It is one of those areas in my life that still needs work.

I have always figured others, must have it easier. But this is not the case. Its because of judgments like this it makes it even harder for others. That is the truth that I have found.

However, on personal experiences it is hard for everyone.

On the slippery slope of depression no one is immune to it. The sad part is in depression we become much more selfish in ways, if we were in a right mind, we would never treat others the way we do.

In the progression of this writing I am broken hearted. I think it is selfish for me to be broken hearted.

The sad part is a well-known pastor left behind his family with lots of questions, I am sure.

No one has it all together. We all make mistakes and we will make ourselves pay for those mistakes the rest of our lives; or we will let them take our lives from us.

I can only imagine a fraction because none of us know what the final snap was. I have been suicidal before and yet I am still alive. Therefore, I cannot fully know how someone feels, who follows through successfully, in taking their own life.

I do not know if reading this sometime later, will help me in my own times of depression. I can only say this is my way of dealing with something I find tragic and finite.

I guess I would hope that if dealing with someone suicidal, I would get in the way of any plan of ending their own life I could and help them find hope. That is not always possible. The truth is, as people we hide a lot.

My prayer is that God’s peace holds these people together that are truly the ones left behind.

My memory of the one person I mention, is how much he believed in the God of the Fatherless. That they finally be fathered, so that they can be the fathers, they were created to be.

How tragic this is, above all on Mother’s Day Weekend. God’s peace that passes all understanding, to his wife and children.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’All Everybody!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Truth Shall Set You Free

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Hi Family and Friends,

Its great to be able to reach you all today. I hope what I share today has value and helps even one person besides myself.

A lot of stuff I have shared this week, I have shared before. Maybe not as truthful and maybe not with me taking more personal responsibility. I think it all deals with the personal relationships and spiritual connection.

For me for years I have just grieved and grieved and not healed. Today I am healing and working to get some where in the grieving process. It becomes an honor and not just pain, but real love.

I do not know why it takes almost 40 or 50 years to say I was wrong.

Believe me when I say this there are times there are no second chances.

All we can do is clean our side of the street when those times happen. It is a continual process of living out amends to others. I do not give up hope, but there are times I am worn down. I do feel like I have given up at times, but somehow, I just keep getting back up and say okay, we can do this.

That somehow, is God, friends, and family. I am not alone in anything I do. But I will say that at times, it feels alone. How selfish to think so though?

Because of others, the chance to look at, and say the truth today, I am given many opportunities for growth. I do not always take every opportunity, but I am given them regardless.

There are times I do get stuck and feel like I will never be able to climb out of the dark hole. It is a little more bearable today than what it was. I am content with most things in my life and see some hope ahead today.

I will get better at some things, but I doubt I will do anything perfectly.

I promised myself I would at least make progress on honoring my dad and get things more ready for his spot in my apartment. I stuck to that promise and transplanted a peace lily plant into a bigger planter.

I have a picture of my dad printed out. I am still decluttering my apartment, to make it easier to live in. So progress is the key. Years ago, I was more of a hoarder while today its just getting of a few junky items.

I can be happy about that today.

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am thankful for the ability to see growth in myself.
  2. I am thankful for God, friends, and family.
  3. I am thankful for ways to make myself follow through today.
  4. I am thankful for the ways of nature and that some things are just natural.
  5. I am thankful for fellow writers and bloggers.
  6. I am thankful for friends I have made from professional helpers in my life.
  7. I am thankful I am still here to tell my stories.
  8. I am thankful I do not need anyone’s approval today or their permission for me to be human.
  9. I am thankful for being able to still smell rain at times.
  10. I am thankful for everything beautiful

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

 

 

 

 

 

Making Room This Is How I Roll

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Hi Family and Friends,

Thanks for joining me today. Yesterday I shared about family and my lamenting over what was and how that will never be the same.

This is like the third time I have been trying to plan to make a spot in my apartment to honor my dad in remembering him. I only plain got too tired yesterday, to even start the process after doctor appointments and a late supper.

Today instead of saying it will be completed I will commit to at least starting this process. This way I will not break any promises to myself or my readers.

For anyone who wants to knit pick in how long it takes me to complete things. I will say I do things in Mike Fashion, and that is okay today. I do not need anyone’s permission or approval.

I started going through fear after my writing yesterday. I was also being afraid when I was on my way to the doctors. I really want things a lot different from where they are.

Even with the one doctor, the expiration date for all of us on this earth came up as a topic. I am all over the place because so much is uncertain.

Let me steer us back to things about my dad and why I love the fact of honoring him. This also will also bring out things we loved as a family.

My Dad’s cooking and grilling were at the top. Mom and he loved picking out things for home made nachos and taco soup. My aunt fits in there also as well as one of my sisters.

On Sundays we loved breakfast for supper. Also, at times even though my mom might be under the weather would step in and make hot ham and cheese sandwiches. I know he would even do eggs occasionally.

As men we loved chili; my dad was one of the best at chili.

Grilling he even trusted me with some grilling like all the meats and he would do the fish himself. That was his expertise.

He did the smoker for hams and turkeys. While these were just general things, we all loved it still brought in that family time. We did not always have things this way. Many times, we could be short on supplies.

A ham bone in the freezer, beans, and cornbread were the whole weeks menu. We did a lot of praying.

I do not want to lament continuously over the past. My dad would not want that either. I want to remember the good times and honor my dad for the good he did.

The spicy hot food contest we would have. Usually one on one contests when it was serious game on. Eating a handful of peppers to see who could last the longest.

My mom and dad both, believed in helping people even in their own time of need. There are so many lessons we learned on both sides of that coin.

I am always purging more and making room, to keep the good stuff.

I guess I just see my own expiration date not real clear but knowing its there with in reach. I do not want to leave this world, with one word of good left unsaid.

I love my dad always and forever. This is how I roll.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

 

 

 

 

Remembering Family And Lamenting Over How It Was

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Photo by Aidan Jarrett on Pexels.com

 

Hi Family and Friends!

I never know what its truly going to be about here in this blog entry until I start typing or pecking away as the case may be.

I mourn a lot about how things once were and how much I have taken for granted over the years.

I have talked about wanting a life plan and trying to take responsibility for my life today.

There is much more to write about why that is important to me today. I grieve over the past with my family and wishing I had treated them warmer and held them more closely than I did.

Nothing has driven the point home more clearly about how I have treated people than living through this pandemic and knowing I cannot be close to family and certain others.

A lot of that is due to how I have treated them and, in some cases, acted as if they did not exist. I really thought that at the time it was about me just hiding inside myself afraid to be present because I did not want to get knocked down

Like it or not, we did that a lot in our family with plain sarcasm or snide remarks. I played in that part. I wish to God I could take it all back and would have been more loving or only plain showed up!

I am lamenting some here over my family and what was and is no longer.

Its priceless when I get to text with my brother and mom. I love them both and their new lives.  I miss my brother’s family and I wish I could give my nephew that hug and share with him about the great things about our family.

The great things are we were all hard workers we grew a garden together. We never hired anyone to fix things we could do ourselves. Some things we just learned as we went.

We did family celebrations. We went to church together. Some where in there was love and I ran away from it many times. I wish I could take back the day when my sister tried to comfort me as we made the choice to let my dad just go peacefully.

I pushed her hand away not because I was rejecting her but because I was trying to ask a question. She never knew that. I never explained it.

I love them all more than anything, but I am not sure we could spend more than a day together at a time.

Just a quick note my dad was going to die no matter what and, in the end, he died on his own terms. I choose to see it that way.

I am writing and confessing this because, there are others out there and you want your family to take all the blame. At one time, before I made peace with my parents, I wanted them to take all the blame.

I will say this because of grace, humility, love, forgiveness, and peace that passes all understanding; I got to love my dad, and my dad got to love me before he died.

Because of this, I also get to love my mom and mom loves me today.

We have a big family there fore I will always have a long way to go in making those lifelong amends.

The other side of the coin for me is I did not know how to be family and I still do not know how. It is just one day at a time. For everything there is a season.

I was told long ago one day you are going to miss this and never get it back. I did not believe them. I wish I had.

I will close with this verse which is appropriate from the Holy Scriptures:

Ecclesiastes 3 English Standard Version (ESV)

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

How Will I Work A Life Plan?

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
brown train railway
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Hi Everyone,

I took part of the day listening to podcasts, sermons and reading blog entries of others and doing my own research.

What I am writing today is not fair to even say that I have a plan to plan out my life.

What was interesting was to see how everything flowed together in some fashion.

I started reading a blog entry that talked about a life plan. It is most important to have a life plan to be successful. We all want to have a favorable memory left behind when our lives end here on earth.

I was really turned off by the blogger, mainly because he had his course email sign up not once but twice on the front of the blog, which made me clear them twice. This was before I could even read the content he was providing.

I like the idea of living life on purpose.

You can live your life on purpose. It begins by creating a “Life Plan.” This won’t insulate you from life’s many adversities and unexpected twists and turns, but it will help you become an active participant in your life, intentionally shaping your own future. Michael Hyatt

  1. 1. God
  2. Self
  3. Health
  4. Growth
  5. Rest
  6. Family
  7. Friends
  8. Writing
  9. Finances
  10. What kind of ministry or help I could be?

 The above are items to consider in my life plan.

The thing is, I am not so positive all the time. On any given day Id do my best to talk myself or anyone out of doing a life plan. I sure did not get negative overnight and I am not going to be Mary Poppins either.

That is why I think the second sermon I listened to on living out your faith was so important and interestingly flowed in today.

It was my pastor friend I listened to and I miss him a lot.

It reminded me of a few things in fact:

I do not want to be foolish and silly thinking I can do this life without God.

  1. I need to be able to ask God and others questions I have.
  2. Everyone needs a team of people not just one or two.

We cannot allow ourselves to get so bogged down in planning our life either. We do Have to live life and as most of my friends say, we insist on enjoying life.

In the coming days, I hope to have more to write on this subject.

10 Things I am Thankful for:

  1. I am thankful for a breath of fresh air.
  2. I am thankful for wisdom.
  3. I am thankful for a loving God as I always say even when I can be most unlovable.
  4. I am thankful for the strength to get through today.
  5. I am thankful for good gifts from God and that I may take what he gives me and grow.
  6. I am thankful for supportive friends and family.
  7. I am thankful for my Pastor Friend this one really brings tears of joy.
  8. I am thankful for the chance to live out faith.
  9. I am thankful we can be silly even as tension rises.
  10. I am thankful for anyone reading.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

 

 

 

 

What Will I Do Until The End

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Hi Everyone,

I am glad to be on my second day of writing.  I am hoping to make some sense and to grow into a human being that isn’t just sucking life’s air.  I have been in some type of recovery, for what feels like my whole life. I just want to do my best today and maybe have a plan with reasonable goals.

This journey as I have said before, is messy at best. I do some how keep getting up and pushing forward. I figure my life span is somewhere between 7 and 20 years left. I hope I will have left a legacy somehow, even without having children of my own.

I don’t want the end of my life to be just a few words and then finished. Otherwise then it would seem it was just a prison sentence, right?

A book is not quite enough either. I think it must be real changes and hard work.

The challenges before me are difficult. Its physical, emotional, and spiritual. It’s more than any song. It’s more than weeping bitter-sweet.

It’s about taking my thoughts captive and taming my tongue and flesh. Its trusting in God and allowing Him to take control when I am strong or weak.

The questions I now must answer are:

  1. What are my goals?
  2. What makes me happy?
  3. Where is God at in my life?
  4. Is God evident to others in how I am living?
  5. What is my responsibility today?
  6. Can I or have I truly let go of past hurts and wounds?
  7. What can I do in helping others mend?
  8. Have I stopped hurting and wounding others?

I must find these answers inside myself. We do have to ask ourselves the hard questions to be totally open and honest. Otherwise, there is no solid foundation.

Some days I feel like I am adrift much the way in the movie, Castaway with Tom Hanks and Wilson.  I don’t want my life to end just barely keeping my head above water.

I know there’s life out there. I want to show I have lived and left something good behind. I used to think I knew what that something is.

I am not so sure I know anymore. I am going to have to dig and see what I can come up with. I hope you continue to see me on my journey.

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am thankful for my life and the ability change.
  2. I am thankful for everyone who is and has been a part of my life.
  3. I am thankful for the time to write.
  4. I am thankful for honesty from others and that I get to be honest with myself today.
  5. I am thankful for medical transporters, EMT’s, home health aides, doctors, nurses, custodians, truckers, teachers, fast food workers, store associates, policemen, firemen, correction officers, therapists, and all of whom are taking risks to be of service.
  6. I am thankful for solitude verses loneliness.
  7. I am thankful for the ability to contemplate what the rest of my life might look like.
  8. I am thankful for siblings.
  9. I am thankful for my mom and her husband.
  10. I am thankful for mercy and grace.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

 

 

 

I am Answering My Own Questions

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments
man in brown shirt standing on train rail near coconut palms

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Hi Everyone,  

My days and nights are still mixed up, but I finally slept enough to feel better and some tension is relieved.  

It was very hard week for me physically. However, now with the much-needed sleep and rest I think I can heal more. 

I challenged us all to answer questions and I did. I have not discussed them with friends yet. I did discuss them with my therapist who is like a friend in my mind, anyway. 

Here are my answers: 

1.What are you doing to take care of yourself?  

I am sleeping when I can. I am eating at least two meals a day maybe three on good days. I am keeping up with doctors and medications. I am meditating and praying for others. 

  1. How are you sleeping? 

I am sleeping erratically but getting it in. 

  1. How are you eating? 

A lot of the time I am earing too much but at least getting in two meals a day. 

  1. What exercises are helping you? 

Walking is helping a lot.  

  1. Are you really taking quiet time or are you justday dreamingand whistling in the dark?   

I am really taking quiet time and doing my best to shut out the negative voices. I am doing my best at arranging my home to be a sanctuary of calmness. (Decluttering is key). The other part is I think some of us, just can’t always meditate. We are always on overload much of the time, so some days it’s hard not to be just whistling in the dark. 

  

  1. What are you doing to help someone else? 

I blessed someone else with something they needed that I could get for them.  

  1. Are you taking precautions for covid-19?

I am not taking too many trips out; I am staying in for the most part and staying clean. 

  1. What areas have you improved on in your life? 

I am a work in progress. I am working on facing me more when I am alone. I am learning to compromise more. 

  1. What areas in your life need work? 

All of the areas of my life need work with a regular schedule. 

  1. Will you hold on for one more day? 

Yes, I will take each day at a time. 

  1. How much hope do you have? 

I have more hope today than a week ago. 

  1. What’s one positive thing you love about yourself?

That I can be under a lot of stress and finally get sick enough of it to get up anyway and at least set a plan in motion to change things. I am edging other’s opinions about me out because they are none of my business. 

The advice I am giving myself is to go over these questions every two or three days, in hopes of just being accountable to myself. 

I am also still encouraging myself to discuss these questions with one or two friends. 

We often say, if we knew better, we would do better. I want to do better and not according to anyone else’s standards. Every day is a work in progress.  

 10 Things I am Thankful For: 

  1.  Sleep 
  1. The ability to know myself and listen to what my body is telling me what I need 
  1. That I don’t want to stay stagnant and whiny about others or feel the need to criticize others always. 
  1. Healing  
  1. Smiles and joy 
  1. I have been able to provide a roof over my head continuously for over 3 years going on 4 years. 
  1. That I can take criticism when it is shared in a nice way 
  1. My bills are paid  
  1. That I am doing better at admitting wrongs more promptly 
  1. I am not going hungry

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out. 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

 

 

 

Covid-19 What Is Normal?

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
photo is one I had

Hi Everyone,  

It’s been quite a while since I have written anything. I have gone through a gamut of emotions and thoughts. I have had a lot of different experiences.  

I have needed a long break and physically writing is very hard on my hands and fingers. 

When we entered the year 2020, we all knew it would be a different year. None of us including officials could be prepared for COVID-19. Oh, did you think I wouldn’t bring it up? It’s been all of our experience hoping for it to pass.  

It’s been the marking of an end of eras for many people and saying goodbye to many people who have made our world go around. Some have lost loved ones. Who, where, what, do we blame? 

Talks of a new normal, is now normal. What does that look like? How do we reconcile our faith and hope? Do our dreams count anymore? 

I realize this post may be all over the map and hard to follow. So is life these days. 

I basically took a week off of Facebook except I did check in once or twice, once was just get a picture saved in my albums. I wish I could say it was enough for me to have felt grounded. On the other hand, I know it was good for me.  

I want to start limiting my time more on Facebook on a regular basis and go back to remembering why it was so great to reconnect. I want to grow as a person who is more than just a human being and is spiritual.   

I am not there by a long shot. I know myself to be too selfish.  I am one who bought toilet paper to last 2-3 months at a time when I could. I started running out around stay at home orders. This has been difficult knowing I can no longer do this. 

I am trying as of today, to catch up to people. Just in short bits is all I can really handle, and that is on me. I am the one with the problem. 

My wonderful therapist has been asking about the writer. He is wonderful, really. I don’t always take direction, but I should. I need to press through the difficulty and remain grateful. I am finding that hard to do. 

It is hard to keep writing because I do want a positive spin on everything but that’s not how it is in living it out. I am trying to get there in my own way and definitely on my own terms! 

Trigger warning for cuss phrases: I say WTF out loud and to myself probably 20 times in one day, maybe more. 

Life is a lot like that poppet game; where you pound the ground hogs with a hammer game at fairs and what not. You pop one problem and they keep coming in. You get to accept a new normal for the day and here’s a dozen more all at once. I mean WTF?  

Okay I am done with cussing for the moment. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t serve me well. My blood pressure rises and I am to a point of screaming. I can’t even blame that on my growing up or parents. I think I may have come out of the womb that way. 

Some questions now might be as a follow up: 

1.What are you doing to take care of yourself? 

2. How are you sleeping? 

3. How are you eating? 

4. What exercises are helping you? 

5. Are you really taking quiet time or are you just day dreaming and whistling in the dark? 

6. What are you doing to help someone else? 

7. Are you taking precautions for covid-19? 

8. What areas have you improved on in your life? 

9. What areas in your life need work? 

10. Will you hold on for one more day? 

11. How much hope do you have? 

12. What’s one positive thing you love about yourself? 

These 12 questions are important for you to answer to yourself and maybe discuss with someone else. All kidding and jokes aside. They also could point to you needing someone to talk to professionally. 

I personally will be pondering these questions for the next few days and see how honest I can answer these questions. I plan to discuss them even in my circle of friends and therapist.  

Here’s your challenge to getting to be the best version of you possible, just for today. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

There’s More Than Enough To Go Around

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

Today I am writing from my heart from the weekend to present in reflection of my choices. 

There always begins a new theme as I reflect on my choices in this journey. I feel so deeply and find that I really want my passion for life to stay alive. I look at my friends and family. 

There’s so much to be grateful for and so much of life seems to be the push and pull at the same time.  

My one friend his words to me at the most horrifying and scariest moment of my life said… “It won’t always be this way.” I have had people say it since and you know what those words are to me now? Those are words of love and affirmation. 

The words are validation that I matter and everything eventually changes. 

When you’re on this journey there’s plenty of laughter, tears, and love. It’s letting go of the hatred. Holding on to love. 

Love comes in many different packages and it’s not always wrapped the way we think it should be. In accepting those gifts however, they may come gives us freedom and the person who gives, they get freedom as well. 

We get to reflect on memories and making new ones. We get a chance to roll with change no matter how scary and painful it may feel at times. 

Maybe for the first time I am recognizing I live alone; but I am never alone.  

Sometimes I am embarrassed for the way my life is and how it turned out. I get in self-pity. I am afraid to admit that sometimes because things just feel unfair. It really is a process. 

I told someone the other day, I realize I have rights but sometimes now I don’t always want to trump with my rights if it means giving up peace.  

Growing up, I always thought to that love was just peace, physical touch, hugs, and just reminding others with words. 

Today I know love is, a friend not letting you leave the house like a total slob. Love is sometimes being pushed out when it is so scary and you are begging them to please not make you go. 

Sometimes people have to move away and you are sad and you don’t want to watch them leave; but you stand there waving because they are the best gift that ever came into your life.  

You hit a midlife crisis thinking you can be a teenager and age finally sets in, and you realize you don’t want all the chaos. 

The afternoons or evening curled up with a book and a cup of coffee are the best times now. 

We let go of the negative things. We let go of the bad. It’s just a process and doesn’t happen overnight.  

We hold on to all the good and we pass it on. We walk each other home because finally we understand, there’s more than enough to go around.  

We try to not hurt ourselves or each other. We are not saints! We get a chance at freedom. Just for today. 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out! 

God Bless Y’all everybody!