How Will I Work A Life Plan?

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Photo by Felix Mittermeier on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone,

I took part of the day listening to podcasts, sermons and reading blog entries of others and doing my own research.

What I am writing today is not fair to even say that I have a plan to plan out my life.

What was interesting was to see how everything flowed together in some fashion.

I started reading a blog entry that talked about a life plan. It is most important to have a life plan to be successful. We all want to have a favorable memory left behind when our lives end here on earth.

I was really turned off by the blogger, mainly because he had his course email sign up not once but twice on the front of the blog, which made me clear them twice. This was before I could even read the content he was providing.

I like the idea of living life on purpose.

You can live your life on purpose. It begins by creating a “Life Plan.” This won’t insulate you from life’s many adversities and unexpected twists and turns, but it will help you become an active participant in your life, intentionally shaping your own future. Michael Hyatt

  1. 1. God
  2. Self
  3. Health
  4. Growth
  5. Rest
  6. Family
  7. Friends
  8. Writing
  9. Finances
  10. What kind of ministry or help I could be?

 The above are items to consider in my life plan.

The thing is, I am not so positive all the time. On any given day Id do my best to talk myself or anyone out of doing a life plan. I sure did not get negative overnight and I am not going to be Mary Poppins either.

That is why I think the second sermon I listened to on living out your faith was so important and interestingly flowed in today.

It was my pastor friend I listened to and I miss him a lot.

It reminded me of a few things in fact:

I do not want to be foolish and silly thinking I can do this life without God.

  1. I need to be able to ask God and others questions I have.
  2. Everyone needs a team of people not just one or two.

We cannot allow ourselves to get so bogged down in planning our life either. We do Have to live life and as most of my friends say, we insist on enjoying life.

In the coming days, I hope to have more to write on this subject.

10 Things I am Thankful for:

  1. I am thankful for a breath of fresh air.
  2. I am thankful for wisdom.
  3. I am thankful for a loving God as I always say even when I can be most unlovable.
  4. I am thankful for the strength to get through today.
  5. I am thankful for good gifts from God and that I may take what he gives me and grow.
  6. I am thankful for supportive friends and family.
  7. I am thankful for my Pastor Friend this one really brings tears of joy.
  8. I am thankful for the chance to live out faith.
  9. I am thankful we can be silly even as tension rises.
  10. I am thankful for anyone reading.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

 

 

 

 

My Journey is About Progress Rather Than Perfection

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Photo by Alfonso Escalante on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone!

I just have to keep writing. I couldn’t get what I wanted to write about into words. Instead, I am sharing my experience today. I want to be intentional and do better. I also want to be better.

I guess I am amazed because every time I think I am going to write on a subject, or use it to chair a meeting, it gets switched. Today I am not sure if it’s God or if I just let myself run out of time.

Maybe a bit of both happened. I am thinking God can use our weaknesses and make something beautiful out of it.

It was a really long day I was trying forever to get caught up on a few things. I also wanted to help someone else. I found myself being helped a lot too. What an amazing day, even though I could feel my energy just being drained.

It was time for my ride, and I felt so unprepared, but I grabbed my stuff and went out the door. I am very grateful for rides today. They help me stay connected. We also get time to share before and after each gathering.

Tonight, someone made me realize it was important to share my anniversary/birthday, even though it felt repetitious.

I also learned what I share matters. It can mean so much to someone relatively new, to know others have stayed clean and sober longer than twenty-four hours.

In spite of everything I have still grown, and someone’s been trying to get me to see that. Sure, maybe I have a lot of work still but compared to how I once was. I can put some words together and possibly say a prayer, and every once in a while, even pause.

I am not quitting on myself today. I want to keep going forward even when I get tired.

A long time ago a friend handed me a card with his phone number on it. On the back of the card, it read me, and my friends don’t hurt each other or ourselves today. We still learn today that we do sometimes hurt others and ourselves today.

We just try not to hurt ourselves or others today. I am guilty of both. I keep searching for the next right thing to do.

Sometimes the next right thing to do seems like a tall order this is why we need to stay connected. I can’t do it alone. I do have to do the work and the piper will come, if I ignore my behavior.

Part of what I can do is carry this part of the message and share my journey along the way as living amends. I cannot change without mending my ways. Finally, I just realized as I am writing this, it takes a lot of grace!

I do want to share with you there is a way out of our self-destructive, messed up ways. There is hope and we have to hang on to it and be willing to take the steps out of the insanity.

The last thing I want to say in this entry is that one day is just as important as someone who has 5, 10, or even 15 years. It works. We can start for hope’s door anytime we choose to.

Thank you for reading! As I’ve mentioned I have Facebook Page Boxcar Mike search for me on Facebook and if you want to be friends let me know on that page or drop a comment here and let me know your name. If you just add me without me knowing you, then I will suspect more spam.

This here Boxcar Mike, over and out! God bless y’all everybody!

 

 

A Recipe Study Thinking I Was Ready

nature-background-hd-3 Photography by: wallpaper found in my collection

Welcome Back! This is a Day 7 Blogpost entry. I am far behind.

I thought I was ready to start in on The Big Book. I got drawn back to read another chapter in the book “A Program for You.”  I really thought Id even get done reading the big book and be ready to do chapter by chapter and step by step this week.

I even shared that fact with my therapist. His recommendation was to take it slow and not rush things.

Now that I have read this third chapter, I am seeing why its important not to rush things. The important things brought out in this third chapter are finding out and understanding our problem, to begin with.

The first step shows us our problem is being powerless, and we need power to overcome our powerlessness. Third thing we have to find is that power which is what was recalled by Bill W. Dr Bob and Bill D.

The three basic questions are as follows:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. What is the solution?
  3. What is the program of action necessary for me to find and to use or implement that solution?

This is where we can finally see The Big Book as a text and study guide or recipe. I am glad that I can see where I was rushing and yet also, I can see where I have now procrastinated and used tiredness as an excuse to fall behind.

I do believe in the Book Alcoholics Anonymous and I do believe in a power greater than myself; Whom I choose to call God as I understand Him and Don’t Understand Him. I don’t expect everyone or maybe anyone, to believe the way I believe.

No matter what we believe I do know that there are no two people on this earth who believe exactly the same.

What I do believe is that the first one hundred people, recovered and they used a simple text or recipe if you will, that is a program of action. I am certainly not saying I wouldn’t love to rush through this. However, if taking my time gets the best results and following these simple directions help me do that, then I want all I can get from it.

I have to keep pressing ahead and do the best I can. I cannot afford for my recovery and well-being to take any days off of blogging.

The blogging happens because I read and learn. I take time to pray and meditate in the middle of it. That’s where the excitement for growth happens but sometimes it is so hard to want to pry the book open to learn. I also have to do better with communication with my closed mouth friend.

I have literally gone to sleep early and taken naps, blowing off our time. I really do care and want more for myself I just have to prove it through action.

I have come to understand a couple of things in recovery time is a great reminder and good to have for milestones to capture those moments in. Quality is what I want to today. Some days I just have to want it more than I want it sometimes. Especially when I let days go by.

21 day Challenge of 3 things to be grateful about for rewiring my brain to happiness:

  1. The opportunity to admit when I am wrong.
  2. The chance to write and share my experience with others.
  3. I am never alone even if I feel like it.

Thanks for reading another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike. Over and out!

God Bless Everybody!

I Cant Get it Through Osmosis

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Good Morning Everyone,

Welcome to another thought on my journey. I wanted to get back to the book I am now reading “A Program for You.”  In my last post about this book we learned that the first 100 People of AA wrote The Big Book.

The main starting of the Fellowship began out from the Oxford Groups with Ebbie T. Bill W and Dr Bob were the co-founders of AA and much help from Dr William D Silkworth. Bill D. was AA number three. It would take two years to write the book and have it published in 1939.

Chapter three of “A Program for You”, is learning to use The Big Book correctly. I am so grateful for this chapter. It really brought a lot to light. Here’s the real deal of this book. The authors state that if you never read any part of The Big Book to put down this book and begin immediately.

That tells me a lot about the authors having integrity and their belief in using The Big Book. They are out to help jump start people into reading it and following the program of action.

They explain through out this chapter to which I can attest to over at least hanging out in AA how over the years the true message has been watered down. The fellowship of AA came out of the Program of AA not the other way around, as said exactly in this book. I know That I have just wanted to take what I want and leave the rest.

I realize this may sound like I am preaching AA. For me this is the message I needed to hear. You all are only getting to hear what I need. After reading this chapter, I now even realize how important it is for me to read the first 164 pages of The Big Book.

While we cannot do this thing alone it has been told proven to me time and again, no one can do the work for you. You cannot get this through osmosis. This is what I know for me. After all I am just writing this for me and if it helps someone else, then great.

They say the proof is in the pudding. Well I want to take these steps now, and really have a program working in me.

I can write and read all I want. Without change it is fruitless. This I know. I am not willing to let myself water down the experience or the actions in taking these steps. The thing is, I really want more spiritual experiences and to be able to trust and let go.

I also hope to share my journey with anyone else who has this in common. I am so blessed by any who have and are apart of my life. It’s time for me to read and take some direction so that change is a reality and not just a dream.

Day 6 3 things I am grateful for 21 days of rewiring my brain to be happy:

  1. Grateful to the Program of AA
  2. Grateful to God for waking me up for another day
  3. Grateful for the chance to change

Thanks for reading! This has been another blog post entry of BoxcarMike over and out!

God Bless Everybody!

 

Checking Your Foundation and Getting Real

Image result for a program for you

Hello Again, Everyone!

As I have stated in another post; I believe I did anyway. I am going through the 12 steps again and in preparation I am actually trying to do what is necessary.

It’s no secret I am an alcoholic and addict. The disease of alcoholism is a progressive one.

I think it’s important to take every suggestion that one has the ability to do. If you can’t I truly believe surrounding yourself with good, quality sobriety is the best way to make it possible. We cannot do this thing alone.

I also believe it all has to be done by design of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and I am sure many may balk at this. I admit I am using Hazelden’s workbooks, but they are the ones guided by The Big Book and the Book written by two anonymous authors, “A Program for You.”

Today I just read the first chapter and it is jam packed full of facts of exactly how AA began and how the Big Book even came into print, by the first 100 people. Thank goodness for The Oxford Groups and Ebby T bringing the message of hope to Cofounder of AA Bill W.

In this first chapter we learn we learn that the disease is two-fold physical and mental illness. It is a disease that will tell us we don’t have a disease. Yet, we end up in the same situations because nothing changes.

This describes nothing less than insanity when we keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. There are so many things this applies to, or so I believe.

We cannot recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind without a spiritual experience. Many experiences though I believe are more of the educational variety as opposed to the lightening bolts and flashes of light. In alcoholism it is the drink that takes the next drink because we get the craving for it and wanting that first euphoria.

While I am almost 15 years clean and sober, I feel that I have a had a break in my spiritual foundation caused by myself. I believe the only way top fix the said foundation is to go back to the beginning of recovery.

It starts even before the admission of defeat this round. Thank goodness, I didn’t need to go back out and drink or use more!

There is no shame in going back and fixing the foundation of your whole system. What would be shameful and sad, even heart breaking for many of my friends, loved ones and myself is to go back out and throw everything away.

I would die never knowing I could be happy, joyous, and free. Today, I know I want to fix the foundation.

It all starts with being honest with yourself, God, and others. Or if you prefer a power greater than yourself. Early on they told me when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear. The big motivator is pain.

Pain will drive you to your knees and make you start praying in ways, you haven’t ever thought about maybe ever, or in many years.

One of the things that really made me think was when I was sharing about my anger someone shared with me and others how they watched a person go backward before they died.

The rawness of this disease is you don’t have to take another drink to die from it. I don’t want that to be my legacy. Its time to let of the pain, anger, and even shame.

Day 4 of 3 things to be grateful for in 21 days

  1. My Friend Kassi
  2. Learning Solutions
  3. I am not alone today

This is me getting real! Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog entry post by BoxcarMike over and out God Bless Everybody!

 

My Personal Indepence Day Includes Loving Myself

Ian Espinosa Sparklers

Photo By Ian Espinosa @unsplash.com

Hi Everyone! BoxcarMike here with todays topic along the lines of personal independence from certain medical appendages. I also want to state that just for today I am willing to love myself. It has taken over decade to get to this point where I can say I love me, to myself.

I have had a few health issues and the past two months have had a PICC Line in my arm to receive I-V Antibiotics. I am very grateful it was removed today. I feel freedom without it now.

The one thing that is relevant is that I felt so drained after it was removed because of the added stress I have had in being fearful it would mess up. Towards the end of this journey with the PICC Line I was losing patience with the staff at the infusion center. The nurses though were very good.

I had nurses from another agency come in with the help of my Nurse Practitioner. I was also becoming less patient with acquaintances. When I feel drained, I have less tolerance for people, and it will come out if I don’t remove myself from the situation.

I am exhausted, I have to rely upon self-care at this point, and taking it easy.

Today is the anniversary of celebrating my Dad’s Life 14 years ago. It feels like it was just yesterday, most of the time. My brother, Sister, Mom and others made me smile big smiles today. I honestly felt like my brother was with me even though we just shared some news back and forth. He lives in a whole other country, so it was special.

I still grieve a lot for my dad. I also go through moments of being angry about it, but I recognize that today. Oh, and my brother and sister (his wife- I refuse to call her sister-in-law because she’s like a sister.) They raised a fine son and I can’t be prouder of them for doing so.

My mom is a beautiful loving lady with a great heart for people. There’s so much I still want to fix, like seeing her more but I can’t control that right now. Her husband is just as loving. I miss my mom greatly. I have to be well enough to go see her also.

All in all, I am a work in progress. My independence is just starting. I am hoping I grow more independent and finally heal from everything.

My Grandma says something like, the sun will still rise tomorrow. She has great wisdom and is also very loving and caring. I miss time with her as well. Back to the sun still rising tomorrow, simply means life will go on regardless of my decisions or happiness. It’s up to me to be accepting of each choice I make.

The other thing my Grandma has said when I have been angry is, that I will get glad in the same pants I got mad in. If I just learn to listen and remember there is always great wisdom to live by.

Thanks for reading!