Emotional

Changes Yet Much Of The Same Things

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Elephant Rock

Hey, Y’all!

It has been several months since I last wrote on my blog and connected with friends on social media. I’m back at the keyboard now, sipping a hot cup of coffee.

I have undergone three or four medical procedures and have learned much about healing through this experience. These procedures have brought about significant changes in my life. I’ve taken my recovery seriously, focusing on fighting infections and promoting wound healing.

In retrospect, they were momentous events at the time and certainly included scary moments. I must improve on my part now.

I have lost sight of the work needed towards healing after bouts of depression. Meanwhile, faith, hope, love, and prayers have sustained me.

The issue is that once I fall behind on daily responsibilities, everything starts to feel like an emergency. I am constantly putting out fires in my life. I have been desperately asking for help, and while I quietly pray, I also find myself sometimes shouting toward God, “Hey, can you help a guy out?”

I had to ask someone for help more recently. I renewed my driver’s license and submitted the necessary paperwork to ensure my benefits continue uninterrupted. Over the past few months, I received some medical equipment that has been essential for my healing. A couple offered their assistance, and if everything had relied solely on me, it would not have been done.

I have an extra health issue going on. But it may get resolved sooner.

I appreciate everyone who has helped me get through the tougher times.

I am making changes in different areas of my life. Each day presents an opportunity to make even the smallest of changes.

The thing with even the smallest of changes is that if you get enough of them gathered together, they can become like building blocks. Like anything that you build, the foundation must be solid.

In the past few months, I have prayed with someone at least once a week. There were a few times missed. However, in the two weeks, everything came together wonderfully.

It was like a reawakening of my spirituality. Prayer has become a game-changer for me. It is powerful and causes changes to happen. While the changes in me are small, they are exciting!

I ordered two eBooks to help support this new phase of my journey.

Last weekend, I listened to three speakers, which prompted me to reflect on my life. I am still learning to avoid praying for problems and to stop making accusations against others in my prayers. I am gradually learning how to pray more effectively.

I am working through the changes, and I feel frustrated because I am committed to making this shift. In my mind, I still hold onto the perfectionism I have always had, and I want everything to be done the right way. I need to let go of my perfectionism and embrace what is absolutely right.

I am not willing to let this fizzle out.

The truth is, I do not know how everything will play out. I do know I will not be doing everything perfectly at every moment.

I am a harsh judge who needs to stop judging. Let God be God. I live in a glass house, so I should not throw stones. Thank goodness for mercy and grace.

Micah 6:8 (ESV) English Standard Version

8  He has told you, O man, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,1

and to walk humbly with your God?

In simple terms, for me, it means acting right, doing the next right things, to give mercy more than I ask for, and walking humbly with God, as I understand Him, and even at times, not understanding God. God sees the whole picture way better than I ever could. I need His mercy and grace every day.

I am thankful for life.

Thanks for reading!

This has been a blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Part Two Soul Washing Christmas One Word

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Photo by uc815uaddcuc1a1 Nui MALAMA on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I must write another blog post entry!

I am sharing my experience, strength, and hope.

As I shared in my last post, it has been a Soul-Washing Christmas! I have always considered Christmas the holiday until New Year’s Eve.

Friday I was in pain praying for it to be lifted. I also had physical therapy which helped in part. When I had to be on my feet I pressed through the pain. I alternated between my bed and my chair.

I am incredibly thankful for someone who cleans, cooks, and takes out the trash. He also does my laundry and dishes, and so much more.

I could not do these on my own at the moment.

To me, this spiritual journey started back when asking God for help and thanking Him at night.

It was around 8:30 PM on Friday when I got up and made myself a snack. I decided it was time to get back to bed.

While I was awake and in pain I wanted something to comfort me. As I have shared before I enjoy country gospel music. So, I turned the TV on in the bedroom. I just pressed on any song to start. I found myself praising God even through the pain.

I used to think the old hymns and that kind of music were dead.

That music takes me back to my roots and there is power in those words. I started talking to God on the bluffs as a young child between nine and eleven years old. I poured my heart out. I decided the rain was God‘s tears. When God would not give me what I wanted which was to be safe from harm. Well, then I asked God for the guts to kill myself. Since I was not getting a gun, I asked Him to give me the courage to jump off the bluffs into the traffic. I decided then, that God was not going to save me from that situation I had to face at home.

I still tried to do better, and I could not seem to do better or fix my situation.

Almost 50 years later, things are different.

I started having a desire once again to do better. Especially, once I came through this last surgery.

I am still going to share the past of when I was a teenager I remember those tender moments. I wanted those more than anything else. I just wanted things to stay that way. I had a self-will that would not stop.

In these last couple of years, I have gotten more real with myself, God, and others.

This Christmas I have had a soul-washing and yearning to be better and hang on to the belief of God. Here in the recent past, I picked my ONE- Word: Faithful.

For once in my life to worship in truth. To believe in a faithful God and to learn to be faithful myself.

I started having a desire to pray for others. It starts with family. I have learned I cannot pray a sincere prayer for others and act like a fool to others.

I am still learning more every day even in tears and pain. But When I worship and tell the whole truth as well as follow the practical direction the pain lifts.

I am not a perfect person, no one is perfect.

I know during that surgery I asked my dad to let me come home and he disappeared, so I saw him. The next thing I knew, the surgery was over.

I still have work to do before I go home.

When I feel God’s power through those songs I cry. I find myself in a position to ask for forgiveness, ready to forgive, ready to do better and to believe in my healing even if I am afraid.

This is part of my journey.

Psalms 147:3 (ESV)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Merry Christmas To All My Friend Family And Readers

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Hey, Y’all!

Merry Christmas!

As I reflect on Christmas in the past, I am grateful for all the years I have had with my family. I realize how often I took those moments for granted, never considering that loved ones would one day be gone. However, I choose to focus on joy because those people are now at peace, and the ones who are still here mean more to me than ever.

Living out my faith has profoundly changed my life. This Christmas has been a deeply cleansing experience for my soul. This journey will require ongoing effort, as I’m only beginning to understand what true surrender means. It involves embracing the moments when God takes hold of all my life.

At this time in my faith walk it means, casting out the negative thoughts and fears. Getting rid of imagination forced upon me. It is like when we get unsolicited advice. We did not ask for advice yet; it was forced upon our brains. We must go with the truth we already have.

My heart was broken shortly after my release from the hospital in the past two or three weeks. While I may still feel the effects of the events that happened; I have the truth inside me. What is more,  I believe my support is unmoved. The truth is the truth.

God has not brought me this far to drop me now.

I felt God say to me, “You are not going under.” I must go with the positive. I am giving God all my pain both physical and emotional pain.

I am asking God for direction, while I am taking direction from my prayer partner and medical team. My life is changing before my eyes. Instead of giving a flat-out no to direction, I am meeting people halfway and trying to be open to more. I am getting stronger even though I notice little problems with other things that are so insignificant, compared to the biggest nemesis.

God is faithful and His word does not return void. Therefore, I want to be faithful to God. I hope I get the chance to share this with everyone going through the challenges, stubbornness, and the same hard-headedness I have had.

The truth is they may not listen. However, a seed gets planted. A seed was planted in me. I believe and I am holding onto hope for myself and others.

1 Peter 1:16 (ESV)

16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 

In this past year and some just in the last few weeks, there are things I have learned, and I am thankful for.

  1. God will lead me if I ask Him to.
  2. Hope will not die as long as we keep our faith feeding it.
  3. Hope gives us faith to hold on to.
  4. Action is the only way we can change.
  5. Change may be the result of evil men, but God brings the good out of it and you find if two people are being tried to be removed from your support they support you anyway.
  6. Soul cleansing is needed from time to time.
  7. Family are people we have taken for granted hold them and hug them tight. They are gone before we know it, just as we may be gone before we know it.
  8. Faith is a walk we cannot fake, and we can make it through with God’s help.
  9. Asking in the morning for help, correcting and making right a wrong or mistake as soon as we can, and thanking Him at night, gives a clean heart and conscience.
  10. Forgiveness, Grace, Love, and our apologies are strong and moving actions

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I Am Determined To Be Back On Top

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Hey, Y’all!

I am determined to get back on top of everything. In my last blog post, I mentioned that I must roll with the changes, or at least, it was implied if I did not specifically say it outright. Little did I know that changes would follow the very next day. My home health aide quit unexpectedly. It was for the best.

It was a substantial change because I was doing my best to accept and accommodate her needs besides expressing my own. I wished her well and nothing but goodness in her future adventures. I am also relieved. This may be the first time I ever accepted a change in the right way.

On Monday afternoon, a new helper will be introduced to me as well as a new assistant office manager for the agency that helps me with my home health needs. I am looking forward to meeting the new people. I am hoping this change helps benefit the changes that I need to take responsibility for in my own life.

My writing is important to me, but I have just been drifting and staying in a depressed state these past few months. With each setback in gaining a total of four wounds, I have accepted them. However, I cannot deny they have affected my emotional well-being.

It affects my well-being because new wounds make me feel I am losing a battle for healing. What caused the new wounds was fluid build-up, as well as tunneling that happens from wounds, already present traveling to present dead skin. This is over ten years’ worth of decay.

This is now taking debridement as well as soaking and dressing in compression wraps to treat the wounds. The good news is as the wounds form, we are aggressively treating the wounds, so they are short-lived.

Today, I woke up at 4:17 am and enjoyed a continental breakfast at home. Getting up early has allowed me to have more personal time, as the new helper has a different schedule. I am grateful for the change, as the previous schedule was exhausting. I am hoping this will now be a routine.

The previous schedule took away my time with friends as well as diminishing both my afternoon and evening time.

I feel hopeful right now. I am now ready for a new day!

The changes I am making begin with taking responsibility just for myself. I am also hoping for better communication and to start addressing any problems as soon as they crop up and not let anything fester into resentments. I also know that not everything will always go my way. This is where acceptance enters the picture.

However, reasonable requests for cleaning, preparing meals, and errands that are nearby should not be a problem. I also can let go of taking responsibility for receipts and turning in expense reports to the office. This will take the stress off of me.

Being prepared by having daily tasks posted for my helper to do will go a long way with communication and also meet my needs. I will also have a written outline of my expectations for Monday. This is taking responsibility for communicating and advocating for my personal care needs.

This is the difference between being assertive and passive. Meaning what I say, and not saying it mean. This is not negotiating or asking questions, rather I am stating my needs so they can be met properly.

Having all of this in place will help me move forward with my emotional and spiritual growth. Having a new helper will also take time for me to be off my feet and allow physical healing. This will enable me to comply with my medical team. It is also within the bounds of being compliant with the home health agency.

In the past, I have vocally been aggressive and or passive rather than assertive. Being passive or aggressive does not accomplish anything. It escalates resentments already present. Being assertive promotes clear communication and squashes any resentment.

My hope in accomplishing all of this will stop other things, other people, and myself from wasting my time. This in turn will help me write more consistently.

I am ready for a positive outlook now and climb out of the mud and mire. I am grateful for all of you reading this and for all of those in my tribe. It is time to press forward now.

Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV)

“12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Its Changes In Latitudes Changes in Attitudes

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Hey, Y’all!

Life is full of changes and challenges. As the great Jimmy Buffett once said: “It’s those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, nothing remains quite the same. With all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

Let us embrace the changes, maintain a positive attitude, and find humor. In the past month or so, it seems like one curveball after another keeps coming at me. As I have talked with others, this is their consensus as well. I had no idea I would be in my late fifties learning how to effectively deal with these curveballs. In the past, my answer would have been that nothing can be done about them. Today, it is all about taking each day at a time.

My health issue curveballs have been dealing wounds as always. I am hoping to continue dealing with these at home with the home health nurse and visit the wound clinic on an outpatient basis.

We make plans and set goals without knowing what challenges lie ahead. There is no way to plan for everything, so we do our best to cope.

In my life, it has been all about health issues. This includes physical and mental health issues. I am a firm believer that you cannot heal the physical without also addressing the emotional health as well. It does not stop there; it also encompasses spiritual health as well.

Change does not happen overnight in most cases. In my world, miracles and cures are mostly of the educational variety. It works this way so I can learn. The other thing related to healing is forgiveness. Learning to accept forgiveness and to forgive others.

Being forgiven let me understand there was no way I could ever make right what was forgiven. Forgiving others in return frees me.

I would be remiss if I did not include the importance my therapy and recovery have played a part in trying to be healthy today.

You would think in twenty years I would have retained the knowledge and importance of having a routine. This is the best advice ever given to me. My best friend for over twenty years now shared this with me when he asked me a question. What is your routine? My answer was I do not know. He shared this, get one. Twenty years later he still says you know when I stick to my routine, I do a whole lot better.

In therapy, there are questions my therapist asks me or tries to do every week if I am cooperative. I finally understand that I also need to ask myself these questions.

  1. How are you?
  2. What are you feeling?
  3. Have you eaten today?
  4. Are you taking your medications?
  5. How is your sleep schedule?
  6. What did you do this week?
  7. Did you go anywhere or do anything fun besides doctor’s appointments?

I take my vitals every day without fail. The same is true about my medications. Very rarely do I miss either of those two things.

My grandma used to say, if you make your bed first thing when you get up you will get a routine going.

Boxcar Mike says, give others the latitude they need and none of the attitude.

One of the things I told my worker today is that we all must practice self-care. If we take care of ourselves today, we can be stronger tomorrow.

3 John 1:2 (ESV)

2 Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

I hope to share more soon.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I Feel Like I am On A Time Clock

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Hey Y’all!

I feel like I am on a time clock racing to get everything done. My writing is important to me. Though my writing has been nonexistent lately, I am trying again. I wish to do better and just show myself doing better.

I am doing stretches and walking. I am doing my pumps and a workout with the chores. I have chores in the mornings. My helper gets here late afternoon, usually, the heaviest thing she must do is the laundry and trash.

Physically, my wounds looked worse on Monday. My head has just gone mad with thoughts about that. Thankfully, they looked much better yesterday when the nurse was here. We shall see what they look like tomorrow and Monday.

I have not forgotten about working on the grief, loss, resentments, causes, and my part where it affects me. I must work toward forgiveness to free myself. I am collaborating with my therapist, the professional I mentioned in the last entry. I must find my way out of the emotional mess.

I am praying for help to be the best version of myself to be the best friend I can be and to give of myself the best I can.

I have been on the other side of seeing nothing wrong and wondering why everything is out of order. I have done stupid things and won stupid prizes. We cannot see; until we are willing to see. It takes work, meditation, prayer, and willingness to change.

There is no answer to the why until we do the work of HOW. That is Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness. We get down to causes and effects, and admission of our part. The one common denominator in everything that happens is me.

You learn by living it out. I fall apart when I am not spiritually fit. This is why I need my support system and simple reminders. Unfortunately, it takes what I consider devastating news before I call for the lifeline.

 “GOOD judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage, and prudence- are the qualities needed *(taken from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous) these and one spiritual we should have, “sensible, tactful, considerate and humble.” *(Taken from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous).

Every time I find myself in a spot, I must change. When we start seeing the changes in ourselves, we get excited. However, it is grunting work in the beginning. It can be an upheaval getting to the root. But it is so worth it. There will always be bumps in the road, when I hit one, I must get through it.

The truth is, I lose control when I hit those bumps. I am determined to be better.

  1. I am thankful for the ability to learn.
  2. I am thankful for the patience of others.
  3. I am thankful for answers when I seek them.
  4. I am thankful for the chance to write and share with others.
  5. I am thankful for the ability to see and understand.
  6. I am thankful for my choices.
  7. I am thankful I can turn around anytime.
  8. I am thankful God is forgiving.
  9. I am thankful for a song that just came on to remind me of happier times.
  10. I am thankful for my courage.

(1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV)

 13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

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Hey Y’all,

I came back to writing finally.

I am dealing with a lot of physical, emotional, and spiritual subjects as usual for all of us. We all have a lot to deal with daily. I want to say, I am willing to face it all. It is just a day at a time. Right?

Sunday, I felt touched by a short video I watched. I am botching it by summarizing what it said. Yesterday needed you today, we need you, and tomorrow we will need you, please do not quit. Do not give up. So many people care about you and love you. You are loved and needed.

Just because we do not talk deeply with everyone, does not mean we are not a hope for someone else. It also does not mean the same people who are not deep with us, are not giving us hope. Sometimes things suck.

The only way to get through the hard things in life is to face them We walk through those things, feel the feelings, and work through them. Taking the necessary steps is hard. No one said it would be easy or painless.

I have been dealing with chronic physical issues. I am also facing the fact that I need to deal with grief and loss. I am dealing with emotional and spiritual issues too. All of it has emotional and spiritual aspects. It all comes down to fear and anger. Anger because I am not in charge or better yet, in control.

Face everything and recover. We should look at it this way instead.

Face

Everything

And

Recover

Do you see, facing everything and recovering reveals fear? I have learned this in the past, but I need reminders. There is also a fact of me maybe facing things before, but finding even old things come back up because of not being perfect, I only dealt with them as far as I could understand it at the time.

Just because you work on things once or a thousand times, does not mean there is not more work to do.

I recently told someone that as much as I am sarcastic with I am also sarcastic with God and they told me they argued with God! This is someone whom I consider of a handful of people, I see, as the most devout  Christian I know.

At that moment, I admitted to myself that it was freeing because I had been mad at God for not granting me my wishes. Sarcasm is a form of anger. I am not okay because: I want to say I am doing great. I have no resentments; I am at peace with everything.

I am not okay because I am angry with God that He has allowed the death of precious loved ones, and that negative things keep happening.

In the meantime, I am dealing with these issues with a professional. I am also using the twelve-step program. It will work because God is not going anywhere. I have work to do and much to prepare for.

The biggest help is that 99% of my fears will not even happen.

I have a great support system. I must use my words instead of keeping everything bottled up.

God can manage all my emotions. He is not going to fall apart because I am mad at Him. It is going to be okay.

The most important thing I can do for myself is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Freezing and fleeing keep the problems hanging over my head. It becomes heavy baggage that stops me from receiving anything good because; everything is a complaint and nothing is good enough.

That said, I need to find those things for which I am thankful for:

  1. I am thankful for the support when I need it.
  2. I am thankful for the words to write.
  3. I am thankful for an unexpected visit.
  4. I am thankful for reminders and knowing how to take care of myself; even, in this time of waiting and seeing.
  5. I am thankful for Communion, forgiveness, and the ability to forgive.
  6. I am thankful for provisions.
  7. I am thankful for lymphedema pumps.
  8. I am thankful I can walk.
  9. I am thankful for my nurse’s supplies
  10. I am thankful I can pay my bills.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Still Working On Goals Happy May Day!

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Hey, Y’all!

Here we are at 1:54 am. I cannot believe I am up this late. I went to bed tired, and I was sure I would fall asleep. Instead, I am right here writing to you all. There has been a week or so lapse in entering any blog entries because it has been putting in the work on my base goals.

I am fighting tiredness and feeling sick off and on.

I am happy I have my calendars filled out and ready to go for the month. Having the calendars completed and the ability to make my lists each day helps me feel more organized and goes a long way in being initiative-taking each day. I am realizing I have work to do on the inside of myself to be more assertive in the right way in situations.

There are emotions I am fighting that have led to depression that I must overcome.

I tell myself that it all will be better tomorrow. It may take more than tomorrow to feel better. Even during the times, I say I give up; I have not given up. I still get back up.

It sucks at times because a group may be going through our life lessons at the same time. For me, it is always hopeful I have not burned new bridges that have taken years to build. I also hope I am not disappearing from older friendships.

The calendars and lists: they tell me where I am so I can figure out where I am going. I want to excel at a faster rate than what it is taking and that is where the emotions and doubt come in. It is where I fight myself because I want to be better.

Inside my head, I scream you must do better! I am impatient with myself.

I keep holding on to a friend’s words he said to me about eight or nine years ago. “It will not always be this way.” I am angry at the slowness in myself. It seems and looks like others can just change overnight. The truth is I know it took them longer as well.

It all goes back to cautioning myself to not compare ourselves with one another.

We never know where another person is at their starting point of change. We do not know the work everyone else had to do to get where they are. We do not know what sacrifices each of us has made to do better or to get better.

To make a real change in this life gets to the core of our being. We run the gamut of emotions from screaming, crying, laughing, and silence. We must keep hanging on for one more day. I will get through these twenty-four hours just as I have all the past days.

  1. I am thankful to have courage.
  2. I am thankful for my portion.
  3. I am thankful for smiles.
  4. I am thankful for hope.
  5. I am thankful that change does happen.
  6. I am thankful for life lessons.
  7. I am thankful for others helping me figure out what I cannot figure out alone.

Acts 17:28 ESV

28 for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

At 58 I Wonder What I Will Be When I Grow Up

/ boxcarmike / 3 Comments

September 2023 Elephant Rock

Hey, Y’all!

I went to bed at eight-thirty last night, I intended to get somewhere between six and eight hours of sleep. I woke up three hours later and here I am now after midnight. I will smile through this.

I am fifty-eight and I am wondering what I will be when I grow up. This is because there are things left for me to do. I have happiness left to live out and things I am learning.

I am not just learning to love me I do love me. I do not mean this in a conceited way. For years, I hated who I saw in the mirror and inside my head. I was self-destructive and I stayed stuck inside the self-made prison. I wanted to love, but I did not know how to love. Everyone deserved love. I hurt on the inside, and I only knew how to hurt others.

I am thankful this has changed, and I am rebuilding my life piece by piece. It is a step-by-step process and has been a long journey.

Love is being willing to change. Love is letting go. Love is freeing yourself from bondage. Love holds no hostages. Love heals. Love always wins.

Two people I knew, died on the third day of this month 2024. I was afraid I was going to die just a couple of weeks before 2024 began. I even said to myself, I played too much! Of course, I deserved to die. I was afraid to die. I was not ready to die.

I have been on a healing journey for a while. I am still healing, and I am still learning. Love is winning.

Here is what I have learned: No matter what illness is; it is far deeper than illness. The roots are fear, anger, and hatred. It has a victim mentality. It plays the blame game, and nothing is ever my fault! “They did it to me. If it were not that thing in the way I would have gotten the job!”

“Look, Man! If you lived my life you would drink, smoke, and take pills too!”  If it, you, or they just would not have made me mad I would not have made the hole in the wall! It is your fault! No, they had it coming; they needed to hear the truth from me!”

“You do not know pain until you have known my pain. So just shut the heck up! Yes, these have been the examples of things I have said except, usually with expletives.

People have stood by me, and I am not just changing, I have changed, and my life has changed. I continue to learn more because there is always more action needed.

Forgiveness frees me. Forgiveness allows me to heal inside out. Dropping the rock keeps me from drowning! Working with others, sharing with others, and listening to others sharing with others is so valuable in healing because the message gets shared.

My faith has grown. God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, and doing my part is healing me and it is working. Why stop doing what is working?

Now, I have shared all this to say, I am still doing the work in the workbook. I worked more on it yesterday. I will work on it again today, and I am finally ready to start planning. Once the plan is in place, then I will begin a second workbook by Mel Robbins “Make It Happen.”

These workbooks have asked me to ask others how I have changed. I have learned though if you are paying attention to those you surround yourself with and are doing the work, you do not have to ask them. They are already telling you how you are changing and have changed.

If you do the work, you cannot help but change!

Doing the work does not make you perfect. I make mistakes every day. I still oversleep. Thank goodness a friend kept calling me yesterday morning.

I say and do things I should not say and do. However, it is way less than I used to. I tell on-myself to those who have my best interest in mind. We work out a way for me to make things as right as possible and I move on.

Proverbs 16:3 (ESV)

3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.

I am ready to start living this 58th year.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Making 2024 My Best Year My One-Word

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Hey Y’all!

I am about three months behind on planning for my best year. I am doing something I have done before and that is taking advantage of a Mel Robbins print-out workbook challenge. “Making 2024 Your Best Year”

My original thought was if I could just prevent myself from needing hospitalization or surgeries. Along with this, I want myself to be healthier and prevent infections. But I do want more. I want a real life.

One of the things to first acknowledge is to know where I am, so I can know where I want to go.

I have unplugged and now it is time to restart. One of my experiences this past week was using Google to get to a friend’s workplace. Google does not always get you to your destination! It would be best if you had specific directions. This means asking for directions instead of assuming you can find your destination.

Other people’s experiences and knowledge can go a long way if we just listen.

My objective this year is to make things better. In the past, I have rehashed scenarios, made unrealistic goals, and promised to do better than I was capable. I made myself crazy. I have wasted money, and energy, and allowed the stress to take a toll on me emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

While I may be behind timewise, I can only start from where I am.

I usually pick a word for the year. That said, I have picked start as my word for the year.

I need to start from where I am. I will start making my routine. I will start doing as I say I am going to do. I will start making things better. I will start being responsible just for myself. I will start blogging regularly. I will start decluttering my mind. I will start showing up for myself.

7 Things That Make Me Happy:

  1. Having A Clean Home
  2. Gray Days
  3. Good Food
  4. Good Friends
  5. Good Family
  6. Praying and Meditating
  7. Writing

10 Things I am Thankful For:

  1. I am Healing.
  2. I Can Walk.
  3. I am Not Responsible for Other People’s Feelings and Responses.
  4. God Has Brought Me Through So Much.
  5. My Family.
  6. I am Changing and I Have Made Changes.
  7. I Have the Ability to Do the Next Right Thing.
  8. I am Gaining Physical Strength.
  9. God’s Blessings and God’s Forgiveness.
  10. People Want Me Included for Me.

There is always something for each one of us to be grateful for even in tough times. I put thought into each one of the things I am grateful for and each one of the things that make me happy. The things listed are not just a grocery list.

My limitations are more than I would prefer. Such as when my body needs rest, or I cannot do a hill with just my cane. When projects in my home require waiting until someone can help otherwise I risk falling.

I have a long way to go in terms of being able to be healed and independent but, I am farther along than in the past few years.

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Thank You for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!