Self-care

Post-Surgery Physical And Emotional Healing Choices

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one of my favorites

Hey, Y’all!

A little more than a week ago, my hospital admission occurred. Admission to the hospital is hardly ever a pleasant experience but necessary. In my case, it was very necessary. I am very blessed to still have all my limbs and lower extremities.

What the doctors and I did not know is that I had an active case of Osteomyelitis. It was causing wounds not to heal and was in two small bones in my foot. Last Saturday, I had surgery to have those two small bones removed and I could begin to heal.

I have about made it through the first week of healing at home. It has been multiple appointments and having Home Health come back to my home to resume care of wounds. Though the one doctor and the wound clinic are taking care of the foot that had surgery.

I have like six weeks before the sutures come out and I am to take it easy and allow others to do for me, which I admit I resent.

I am trying to find time to take that deep breath throughout the day without answering questions that seem constantly coming at me.

I need everyone to leave before the end of the day sometimes. I need time for myself besides just having to lie down and rest and elevate my feet. I need time for writing, meditation, and conversations besides with friends who do have time.

While I was in the hospital, I was very emotional much of the time. During my first few days, I was still reeling from one of my favorite country music stars death Loretta Lynn. I found myself singing God Bless America Again very loudly something hardly do except to cope with stressful situations.

The nurses easily poked on and dug into twelve times for an I-V and some attempts left lasting marks. Nurses that put in I-Vs, you must do better. Please do not dig, that is not the way to do it because you are afraid of running out of time for a break or because you have other patients. Do it right or do not do it. Admit you need better training. Supervisors, help your Nurses. Do not sit on your butt watching Facebook or other social media. If you do it correctly the patient will have minimal discomfort!

Saturday, I had my surgery and while I did have pain, it was tolerable. I needed four tablets of tramadol to get through recovery time until I went home Sunday afternoon when I was discharged from the hospital.

I was happy to attend my Men’s Group on Tuesday online where the topic of anger came up.

Many things push us into anger and feeling overwhelmed by everyday life-type things.

The importance is in identifying what anger looks like and catching our thoughts early on. Being able to control our thoughts and remember to remind ourselves of true statements instead of believing a lie.

The first part of everything begins with how we start our day and the self-care in beginning our day.

This comes from prayer and meditation.

We encourage ourselves and affirm ourselves by using “I am statements.”

The attitude of gratitude by remembering and writing down the things for which we are thankful.

Reading for me which would be in God’s word and remembering God loves me and wants the best for me.

It is a lifelong process.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

A Conversation With Myself Take Good Care

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I Remember

Hey, Y’all!

I have stayed too busy for some of my self-care. By noon each day, I am exhausted. It is just going to take what it takes to be up on this routine that starts at 430am.

I am trying something just a tad different by sharing the actual conversation in my head I am having with myself. For some of you, it may sound out there, and some people may be scared.

I just want time with you, life is too short to not have time to reflect, dream, laugh, cry, and see the wonders of all the earth around me like when I was a child. This is how I learned to talk to
God.

I think of you often and wonder what you will do next. You hold your friends and family close to your heart. Will you hold you, that close? I used to dream of you becoming famous. Now, I realize all I want is you. It sounds narcissistic. I do not mean it that way.

Will you remember to love you? Even when you make mistakes it is okay to love you.

I want a shed that allows me to look out a window and see the sunshine and all the different weather conditions. I also want a safe walkway that stays covered and makes the fierce winds go around the structure.

A fireplace and a day bed would be in this shed along with a kitchenette so I could stay a couple of days just to myself. It must have a bathroom and shower as well. To have internet in this shed would be pointless except, I am nosey enough to get my phone to click in to see what is going on with all the people. I would click out before I had to respond to anyone.

I think God and an Angel or two would come to visit during my naps. A lot of this is just a dream, but it is better than fame or fortune. I would have candles everywhere and a bear skin rug next to the fireplace. The place would smell like Honeysuckle and rose of Sharon. You could smell the vanilla from baking, The same way in my mom’s house where the sense of peace is. My writing would continue until my last breath upon this earth.

A few might know of my secret shed. The dark curtains for night and sheers for the day, as sunlight glistens on the flower vases.

I now must work hard to get through this time to take loving care of myself.

Do you know you are going to be okay? You are. You are willing to do what it takes to make your goals, even as they are late. Timing has not always been your best suit but God’s Timing works wonders.

You get to do better with your future as you lay to rest the past and accept what is now. It is the new memories you get to make. Let go of the mistakes and regrets. Today is your best bet. Let us move forward now.

Take Good Care of Yourself!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

The Adult Has To Play Well With Others

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My Peace Lily Hoping To Get Another

Hey, Y’all!

Sometimes I know exactly what I am going to say in my post before I get it out. I just never know the ending or what it will look like at the end. I am just as surprised as you most of the time. It is like, who knew?

Did any of you all your mama say, “I am surprised at you?”

Mine did, I would respond with, I know me too! Not a good thing to say back. I am just saying.

In the last few posts, they have all been random. This one is no different.

Playing well with others was never a true statement for me. I loved to do my own thing. I still do in fact.

I find out doing my own thing after Friday nights and well even though the week, once I turn my phone off for the night, I have a lot more peace.

I did not even think this weekend through it just happened naturally. I took an extra day of rest. I felt guilty for a second. I then realized I must extend my hours for the next few months because I have a nurse, Nurse B. (Her name starts with B for real), and she is not a morning person.

You roll with punches, I guess. I will be done with my day at 6:30 pm. Fridays I will be finished with the day by 4:00 pm. Of course, that does not apply to my friends. If we have made plans, all the better.

I needed the extra rest today. I am supposed to be at an event online at this very moment and have my phone open. My plans changed. These things happen.

I know that the event is downloadable and will get to it at my earliest convenience. There was also a second event I had to say no to at the same time. I am hoping it will be downloadable or at least a stream online as well later. If not, oh well.

My neighbor friends have been missing me and at some point, I do need to be available for them as well. I do love them and care about them.

It is not just for the nurse I had to extend my hours it is also because I have had to schedule transportation for an eye doctor’s appointment next week. They could call anytime this week to confirm the appointment and confirm the time they are picking me up for the appointment.

I promised one neighbor a cake and I will make that tonight and have that ready for her in the morning.

I have yet to make supper, but I did get extra rest. It is just going to be a light supper, I think.

Here is a clue for someone out there asking, who is going to help me?

No one is coming. I have made a promise to love, care, protect, feed, and do what I must to keep myself at peace and in harmony with my surroundings. No one will do that for me.

The only thing coming is the wolves. I must keep them away from my door at all costs.

As a friend says, stay busy. Never forget where you came from.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Taking Responsibility In Being Prepared For H.A.L.T

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Shepherding OutDOORS by Walt Merrell Hoffman Press

Hey, Y’all!

Here it is lunchtime and barely finishing my coffee. I wanted to take the time to write today about H.A.L.T. I briefly went over it in a couple of writings. I have things popping up in my journey and I must be prepared for exactly those halt times.

I have failed even recently in taking the responsibility for my side of the street. I am doing my best to start thinking about turning that around by being prepared. I mean the reset came in time for me to try and do damage control over my whole life.

Now doing damage control does not mean I take on anyone’s judgment.

It is just taking responsibility and here we will go over again the acronym of H.A. L.T.

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

I am going to be taking snacks and water and water when I go out anymore because that is my responsibility. I cannot just blame things on blood sugar or being off schedule of my routine. That is not anyone else’s responsibility but mine.

 I have added a new post-it to my desk as a reminder. In changing my behavior visuals are important tools for me. Early on when first stabbing at getting sober I needed phone numbers. A gentleman handed me his phone number and on the back of it read this, “my friends and I do not hurt each other or ourselves.”

While I no longer have the card or know where that man is today; that card has stuck out in my mind all these years later. I wish I had followed that advice all these years. I want to practice those principles in my life today, to save a lot of heartache and headaches. I get the chance to pack more in the stream of life when I stop making excuses for my behavior.

I will say today has certainly not been a perfect day. I overslept once more and had to do a drive-by-text check-in. The rest of this week I Will be concentrating on waking up on time because again being late because I am tired is a behavior, I do not wish to continue.

Allowing the irresponsibility of not doing self-care can mean missed opportunities. Let me say, not being prepared for the halt moments is exactly, not practicing self-care.

While I say all of this I also say, you cannot beat yourself up as I must not do to myself. All we can do is, move forward and do better.

I know I want more for myself in the fact that; I cannot allow something done wrong by me or others to stand in the way of me getting more and giving more.

Again, this is where the accumulation of all the small things (that we think are trivial or insignificant), we or I do matters. They can make or break us from reaching our full potential for getting and being in all the good stuff.

My determination must say to myself, I can do this! Together we can!

Thanks for reading!

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This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

The Weeks’ Work And Rest Finding Balance

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Photo by Los Muertos Crew on Pexels.com

Hey Everybody!

I have had a long week like everyone else. I am happy with myself that I am getting healthier and healing. The important thing about this week has been doing my own laundry. It was more important to show the medical staff the fruits of my labor and blood tests to prove it.

I am needing a balanced routine it has been proven to me, that I struggle with balance. I keep looking ahead and right in front of me. If I get too far ahead, I see impossibility, so I need to stay in this twenty-four-hour.

This weekend is about rest and sleep. If you do not get enough rest and sleep the weight will add on. You need more than one meal a day otherwise everything is self-sabotaged. Keeping the medicine regime and exercise.

Let us recap to stay on track. We need a regular routine of self-care: hygiene, exercise, medicine, sleep, and rest. We also need to ask for help when needed. My showers are so important they are my me-time emotionally and spiritually. I can cry, laugh, talk to myself, talk to God, and meditate all in the shower. Oh, and sing!

I struggle with check-ins. I am supposed to be checking in by keeping my appointment with my therapist and calling 2-3 people. I do get overwhelmed and overtired. I way oversleep. I do not mean to, but it is one more thing to change.

Some days I just want someone to hug me and say everything is all right; you are doing great just keep hanging in there.

I keep doing the dishes, sweeping, mopping, laundry, and taking some of the trash out, I even took the blinds down, washed, rinsed, and hung them back up. I vacuum. I have my helper break down boxes and take the trash out. I also have her wash sanitize doors and handles and now I am preparing all my meals. I do have my helper get the mail.

I also have my helper do some of the vacuuming sweeping and mopping.

I send my helper on errands I do not have transportation for. To be fair I order most of my groceries and supplies for delivery. The balance just is elusive most days.

I refuse to let everything stay the same. Growth is an absolute need. The acceptance of life on life’s terms is one thing. I can change myself and be happier and healthier while accepting those terms.

I have also contemplated the caregiver’s point of view. They are wondering most of the time if they are giving enough care. If they are doing the balancing act correctly with meals, medication, exercises, and personal care? While I have been a CNA in the past, I cannot imagine doing that for someone else today.

It is just as important caregivers do these things for themselves as much as they do for the ones, they care for.

I am doing what I can for myself today. I hope to keep changing and keep getting healthier.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Taking Action to Make Changes Happen

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Photo by Vlad Cheu021ban on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone,

I really cannot say I have accomplished a lot in the way of moving forward to look for a new place to live. I also have done horrible staying in touch with people. But again, I will not give up. I can do better and vow to do so.

I did make a list with due dates for each task and a place to mark in my progress, until I have completed the list. I made such a list years ago to motivate myself to complete such tasks.

It already has motivated me to get rid of the piles of papers on my desk and put them in folders. One thing that was important for me was to get all my bills down to a zero balance. This has relieved a lot of stress and undue pressure on myself.

This last week I had a face-to-face therapy session. One of the great things about this session was to find and feel that spiritual connection again. It has stayed on my mind since last Friday.

It has been a long time to find the spiritual part under all the human brokenness in me. Its just junk that I have been carrying around. I do not always know how to let go or deal with it rationally.

It was as if God Himself, pushed all the junk aside and asked if I would meet him in the middle so I can be free. This getting ready to move is like the physical act of cleaning the junk out and taking responsibility for myself. I do want to be willing to let go of the crud and stop being afraid of everything.

When I feel halfway decent, it is like all the things are being put in place for me to keep busy and not be distracted. As I write this, I see how I finished one task completely. I have 11 more tasks on my list to complete by the end of the week.

The other thing I need to address is that I need to put in the work of showing care for all those in my tribe and doing my best to reply to people more promptly. This is especially true with those of you in my own tribe. I do value each and everyone of you who read what I have to say.

I guess all in all when we say we are ready to make a change we must take physical action. If we do not act, it makes it hard to show the seriousness in making the changes needed.

I guess as I reflect over my life right now, I see this as a moment I am choosing to want to make a change. In this moment I get to take the steps necessary to make this change.

Acting, gives me freedom to choose and not be forced into moving where I do not want to move. Real self-care begins when you take the forcefulness out of your life by doing the next right thing.

I am now really excited for this journey to continue.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Looking Ahead in February For Self-Care

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments
Photo by Mary Taylor on Pexels.com

While I am doing the best, I can at not isolating, sometimes you do have to shut the door to the outside world and shut off the phone. It is a balancing act.

Today while at the wound center It got very cold outside and all I could think about was coming home and ripping into the crockpot of homemade chili. I made myself wait almost an hour and a half though even after I got home.

I did shut the door and I only turned down the volume on my phone as opposed to shutting it off. I savored every bite of my bowl of chili.

I feel warm, safe, and nourished now.

I wanted to take time to write today as we begin the second month of 2021.

I have been out in left field feeling sorry for myself and grieving. It is all a mixed bag. I think I am back on track now, telling myself to get it together. One day it will be too late to get it together; so, I hope I get it together sooner.

I am trying to corner off my safe space. I must figure out what works for me. I am hanging on to the hope I have now, and hopefully it grow within me.

I suppose writing is one of my ways of reaching out and even passing on what I have.

When I talk about creating that safe space it includes nurturing myself, making better choices realizing I have to self-parent, telling myself no to some things and saying yes to new ideas. Doing what I need to care for myself.

I guess I have done well at limiting my sodium as my blood tests came up that I was a little low on sodium. The suggestion came along to drink some Gatorade and I should be fine. Even the tiniest suggestion can make a way for change.

I am not usually one to jump up and down asking for suggestions unless it is in a smart-alecky way. However, maybe it is time I take a serious look at that and just do what has already been suggested.

I probably spend more time going back the way I came just to ask; are you sure this is the way to the yellow brick road? I could have been at the yellow brick road and planted trees by now if it were not for all the back tracking.

I am looking forward to the month ahead that I can gain some solid footing. This month will hopefully be me putting everything into action I know to do to take care of myself.

Challenges do come along. That does not mean I have to let those challenges sweep me way from doing what I know in my heart to be right in taking care of myself.

I am ready to learn to love myself the right way and make better choices.

May we all do the next right thing.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

I am Answering My Own Questions

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments

man in brown shirt standing on train rail near coconut palms

Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone,  

My days and nights are still mixed up, but I finally slept enough to feel better and some tension is relieved.  

It was very hard week for me physically. However, now with the much-needed sleep and rest I think I can heal more. 

I challenged us all to answer questions and I did. I have not discussed them with friends yet. I did discuss them with my therapist who is like a friend in my mind, anyway. 

Here are my answers: 

1.What are you doing to take care of yourself?  

I am sleeping when I can. I am eating at least two meals a day maybe three on good days. I am keeping up with doctors and medications. I am meditating and praying for others. 

  1. How are you sleeping? 

I am sleeping erratically but getting it in. 

  1. How are you eating? 

A lot of the time I am earing too much but at least getting in two meals a day. 

  1. What exercises are helping you? 

Walking is helping a lot.  

  1. Are you really taking quiet time or are you justday dreamingand whistling in the dark?   

I am really taking quiet time and doing my best to shut out the negative voices. I am doing my best at arranging my home to be a sanctuary of calmness. (Decluttering is key). The other part is I think some of us, just can’t always meditate. We are always on overload much of the time, so some days it’s hard not to be just whistling in the dark. 

  

  1. What are you doing to help someone else? 

I blessed someone else with something they needed that I could get for them.  

  1. Are you taking precautions for covid-19?

I am not taking too many trips out; I am staying in for the most part and staying clean. 

  1. What areas have you improved on in your life? 

I am a work in progress. I am working on facing me more when I am alone. I am learning to compromise more. 

  1. What areas in your life need work? 

All of the areas of my life need work with a regular schedule. 

  1. Will you hold on for one more day? 

Yes, I will take each day at a time. 

  1. How much hope do you have? 

I have more hope today than a week ago. 

  1. What’s one positive thing you love about yourself?

That I can be under a lot of stress and finally get sick enough of it to get up anyway and at least set a plan in motion to change things. I am edging other’s opinions about me out because they are none of my business. 

The advice I am giving myself is to go over these questions every two or three days, in hopes of just being accountable to myself. 

I am also still encouraging myself to discuss these questions with one or two friends. 

We often say, if we knew better, we would do better. I want to do better and not according to anyone else’s standards. Every day is a work in progress.  

 10 Things I am Thankful For: 

  1.  Sleep 
  1. The ability to know myself and listen to what my body is telling me what I need 
  1. That I don’t want to stay stagnant and whiny about others or feel the need to criticize others always. 
  1. Healing  
  1. Smiles and joy 
  1. I have been able to provide a roof over my head continuously for over 3 years going on 4 years. 
  1. That I can take criticism when it is shared in a nice way 
  1. My bills are paid  
  1. That I am doing better at admitting wrongs more promptly 
  1. I am not going hungry

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out. 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

 

 

 

Covid-19 What Is Normal?

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
photo is one I had

Hi Everyone,  

It’s been quite a while since I have written anything. I have gone through a gamut of emotions and thoughts. I have had a lot of different experiences.  

I have needed a long break and physically writing is very hard on my hands and fingers. 

When we entered the year 2020, we all knew it would be a different year. None of us including officials could be prepared for COVID-19. Oh, did you think I wouldn’t bring it up? It’s been all of our experience hoping for it to pass.  

It’s been the marking of an end of eras for many people and saying goodbye to many people who have made our world go around. Some have lost loved ones. Who, where, what, do we blame? 

Talks of a new normal, is now normal. What does that look like? How do we reconcile our faith and hope? Do our dreams count anymore? 

I realize this post may be all over the map and hard to follow. So is life these days. 

I basically took a week off of Facebook except I did check in once or twice, once was just get a picture saved in my albums. I wish I could say it was enough for me to have felt grounded. On the other hand, I know it was good for me.  

I want to start limiting my time more on Facebook on a regular basis and go back to remembering why it was so great to reconnect. I want to grow as a person who is more than just a human being and is spiritual.   

I am not there by a long shot. I know myself to be too selfish.  I am one who bought toilet paper to last 2-3 months at a time when I could. I started running out around stay at home orders. This has been difficult knowing I can no longer do this. 

I am trying as of today, to catch up to people. Just in short bits is all I can really handle, and that is on me. I am the one with the problem. 

My wonderful therapist has been asking about the writer. He is wonderful, really. I don’t always take direction, but I should. I need to press through the difficulty and remain grateful. I am finding that hard to do. 

It is hard to keep writing because I do want a positive spin on everything but that’s not how it is in living it out. I am trying to get there in my own way and definitely on my own terms! 

Trigger warning for cuss phrases: I say WTF out loud and to myself probably 20 times in one day, maybe more. 

Life is a lot like that poppet game; where you pound the ground hogs with a hammer game at fairs and what not. You pop one problem and they keep coming in. You get to accept a new normal for the day and here’s a dozen more all at once. I mean WTF?  

Okay I am done with cussing for the moment. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t serve me well. My blood pressure rises and I am to a point of screaming. I can’t even blame that on my growing up or parents. I think I may have come out of the womb that way. 

Some questions now might be as a follow up: 

1.What are you doing to take care of yourself? 

2. How are you sleeping? 

3. How are you eating? 

4. What exercises are helping you? 

5. Are you really taking quiet time or are you just day dreaming and whistling in the dark? 

6. What are you doing to help someone else? 

7. Are you taking precautions for covid-19? 

8. What areas have you improved on in your life? 

9. What areas in your life need work? 

10. Will you hold on for one more day? 

11. How much hope do you have? 

12. What’s one positive thing you love about yourself? 

These 12 questions are important for you to answer to yourself and maybe discuss with someone else. All kidding and jokes aside. They also could point to you needing someone to talk to professionally. 

I personally will be pondering these questions for the next few days and see how honest I can answer these questions. I plan to discuss them even in my circle of friends and therapist.  

Here’s your challenge to getting to be the best version of you possible, just for today. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody!