Prayer

Freedom Begins When We Stop Comparing Ourselves

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am up late writing because I am experiencing some physical pain. I cannot control the pain. I hope and pray by following the suggestions of my doctors and nurses, I can help alleviate the pain. It helps stop the pain when I use the lymphedema pumps on my legs and feet. Praying helps but actions do back up the prayer.

Following directions is imperative for my healing. This is something I have had to learn in the past decade or more.

I must admit that following directions is not something I have done well. I have improved over the years. I hope to achieve a better understanding of how to keep improving, on listening and doing what is suggested in all of the areas of my life.

We can ask for help, but if we are not listening and following directions, we will not know how to change or improve our state of being.

I have heard that changing takes patience, practice, and time. Time takes time. If all we have are words, we cannot change without actions that match up to the words. I am impatient with myself and others when it comes to change.

I have parroted phrases thinking it was enough to make a change in myself. Why? I was comparing myself to others and others said it was the right way. I tried mimicking others, but I did not have the directions for making the changes.

Anyone who has ever worked an equation with algebra knows you can have all the right letters, numbers, and powers to the numbers, but if you do not have the directions for solving the equation, you cannot show the work for the answer.

I am above no one. I did not know how to make the necessary changes in my thoughts. I compared myself to others and had lofty thoughts of who I thought I wanted to be. That has always been the case in my life. It still gets me in trouble, to this day.

I need reminders so that I do not get myself isolated or bogged down in my thoughts because I am comparing myself to others. It is that which I compare myself to that keeps me bound. When I compare myself to something unrealistic, I am enslaved, trying to be that which I am not.

Today I have some directions and suggestions from others and it is helping me change. Some days are better than others.

When I compare myself to others or try to be someone I am not I cut myself off from God and others.

I heard it said years ago if you hang around a barbershop long enough you will get a haircut. Being the people watcher I am, I started watching the different haircuts and would pick one out thinking it would change me. I was not the cool person I saw. I was still me; I was doing the same things I had always done.

It is the thoughts of ourselves we must change. We are not all that and a bag of chips. We are neither lowly nor miserable pieces of garbage. We can live a life that is true to what we are supposed to be. But it is doing necessary action daily.

We start finding gratitude and seeing the beauty in life. We learn what having respect for ourselves and others means. We not only start speaking differently but we take the actions necessary to grow in deeper love for life. We find that we are not only hearing mere words but directions that we comprehend.

We lose our chains and become free.

Proverbs 4:26 ESV

Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Comfort Songs Cooking Helping Others Here There Everywhere

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

My Bluffs!

Hey, Y’all!

Today is more comfort time. Getting out walking is making the goal. I am hoping my help is good to others, wherever I can.

I am listening to artists from childhood which brings me comfort. BJ Thomas mainly (do not laugh, there was part of that time we had limited radio stations and only certain vinyl records were allowed). I see memories in my mind from some of that music which just reminds me of those times talking to God on the bluffs.

Going and sitting on bluffs was my freedom! God kept that spot safe for me. I believe that with all my heart still today. I could not make it to the bluffs when staying in town with the pastor and his wife. So I settled for the church parking lot, and often I got in the vans to start them up and listen to the radio for hours. I do admit I raced those engines pretending to be a race car driver.

It was a different time and all was so wrong with my world. I believed in God with all my heart.

The way it is now I have had a harder time as life went on. Today I am doing everything I know to get back to the belief I had then. It is just that I am still messed up in ways, some days more so than others. I just know there is so much grace and love.

Do you know? It is when I am writing I feel my whole heart in prayer. It is like open heart surgery but with prayer. That does not mean I do not still see the rage and some of the scenes in my life. I sometimes feel the rage even more, but that is when it takes me writing and praying even more.

The stuff I stumble over today is still huge in ways. I do get heartsick opening my phone and seeing all the plans ahead. I get heartsick seeing the headlines. I cannot fathom what we and other places call justice.

So, you see sometimes it just is taking care of myself in other ways. You cannot unsee some stuff and some stuff you must look at as a warning. It is coming but few believe it so. We can push ourselves away and hide but it is there just the same.

I am not here to tell anyone what to do; I am just making observations like anyone else and taking mental notes. This is also as much as I make the same mistakes often, I take stock of my life so much. I am so wrong in many ways. There comes a point when change must be done more concretely than ever before!

I am no better than anyone. I am just making my way. I am certainly not a threat to you. I hope to be friends. The same as if were in a car, just talking as we travel. Maybe sitting around a campfire sharing deep and not-so-deep thoughts.

Philippians 2:3 ESV

 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Comfortable Saturday For Rest And Refocusing Today

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Fabio Partenheimer on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am here today thanking You, God!

I purposely slept in until 10:30 a.m. and I did enjoy it. I am still enjoying my coffee from a small brunch I made myself. My candles are lit, and the music is turned on to keep me calm and quiet in my heart. I just need to enjoy the day and still accomplish a few things as I rest.

I most enjoy not having anyone here today because I just need time where no one is invading my space. Though, I know people are here to help me. Sometimes, though, it feels like I am paying rent to just have people here to interrupt my day. Perhaps, that is their purpose after all.

If left to myself on a given day, I might lose my sense of purpose. I know in some way; I might be helping them as well.

Today is comfortable, and it is not like I am giving up all my responsibilities.

I am refocusing today on how this next week might go, and what will better help me accomplish more.  

Someone asked that I add them to my calendar next week. I said that I must call them next week as I see how it plays out. I have more people to add to my calendar as well.

The people I want to add to my calendar, have not been able to talk about realistic dates and times possible. The main cause we have the thing in common is just seeing how we are going to do with our new goals and regular work weeks.

I am listening to this song called “Fear Is a Liar’ Fear, he is a liar. He will steal your rest and happiness. This is true. When I allow fear to come into my head, my rest and happiness get stolen. I do not wish to live my life in fear.

I must find faith and act on it. This takes reordering my thought process. I must think good things. If I concentrate on negative things it takes me back to fear. I have allowed much over my lifetime to be taken or, how about this, I gave away.

I gave away too much. In return, I was called dirty and trash. I was called worthless and a bad seed.

I did not get clean and sober to live in a way, that brings those negative things upon me. No one should ever say those things to another human being. Ever! It is not about showing you my scars; it is to make a point about living a real life.

I have a purpose in this life otherwise, I would not be here. If we did not have a purpose none of us would be here. Our mission is to find that purpose and live it. I do not want to fade away. Living a life of faith is hard at times.

I do see failures this past week. I also see, I still got up each day. That in itself is a success for me.

You see, today is a comfortable day for me. I am running to God today, hoping to change my thoughts and renew my mind. I want to think about good things. I am refocusing so that my efforts for the upcoming week shall be more successful.

Here is a short story, and then I will be close closing. This story takes in a small town in Missouri next to some railroad tracks.

I was 19 or 20 years old. I am driving this big and heavy car. In fact, for my car people out there, it is a 1970-something, Mercury, Montego. It had been raining. Sure enough, a train is coming that will take some time to pass. The liquor store is only minutes from closing. This shows my priorities.

We must get to that liquor store before it closes. Mind you, there is a full carload of people. In my intelligence, I decide to make a U-turn on this narrow road with mud on both sides of the road.

Well, I fishtail and slide off into what is a ditch of solid mud! I am determined to get back on the road. The tires are spinning. It becomes apparent, we are going to need to push this car. Well, I go to get out of the car. Holy Cow! The car door will not open. That is right, I spun the wheels so much that I buried the frame of the car.

The next day, a farmer towed the car out with a tractor. Thankfully, the girls had walked to the liquor store.

What is my point in telling you this story? The point is you need some traction so you are not just spinning your wheels. If you have no traction all of your efforts are futile. The more you spin, the deeper you are burying yourself.

I do not want my efforts done in vain. I am going to get some traction, by thinking positive thoughts with renewed energy.

Philippians 4:8-9 ESV

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Progress Not Perfection According To My Schedule

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Los Muertos Crew on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

Here we are on a Tuesday Afternoon. I made good use of the morning. However, my morning did not exactly go to schedule, but I did get in my walking. The schedule is hard to get implemented perfectly, but I am happy with my accomplishment of walking. It is the progress that matters.

I was also able to do my laundry and attend the men’s group I attend every Tuesday.

I have shared about my recovery before, using the HALT. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I was called about whether my insurance would cover even an office visit tomorrow. I could feel myself getting a bit hungry.

I realized I needed to calm down and the fact it was going to be another forty-five minutes before I could get to the food. I was angry, because of just of the chance my insurance trying to charge me a large sum deductible. I did calm down and admit the person on the other end of the phone did help talk me down.

I am now using my pumps again hoping to use them for about three hours total this afternoon. And use them again tonight. I am eating cheese now for a snack. I was happy to get my coffee in this morning. That is always vital for me to deal with life.

This week is the reality of climbing on my journey. I am determined to get better. Amazingly, I am making calls consistently in the morning time. I am having to make time while people are present in my apartment, and I dislike how that is having to work. It feels cramped to write during this time. It is how it will get done today.

Today it is beyond my control, and this is where acceptance must play a part in my day. I imagine this is where my day looks a lot like having a job. The only difference is it is my job, to help others, help me.

This question surfaces a lot during office visits. “How can I help you today?” If I was a professional, I might know. Is my usual reply; and that is stating nicely I suppose. I want to do better and have a better answer. I am not always willing to see what it is they can help me with.

I can do better if I want to. Is that what we say about others? “They could help if they wanted to.” I can help me today by chilling out. In the same way, it will help others who help me. My brother’s words one time as he watched me be this frantic ball of anxiety-ridden human come to mind often. It is in a good way. I use the question he formed as a self-check.

“Is this the way you are all the time?” I was ashamed then, and embarrassed. Since then, I have made better progress. I still have a long way to go.

Today, after getting off the phone, I found myself frantic about doing the laundry. I feared not being able to be done enough, to attend my men’s group. I called myself names, going on about how poor I had done with going along with the plan. In the end, I made it to the men’s group, and I did finish my laundry.

Today was an accomplishment, and dare I say tomorrow will even be better and hopefully not find the need to use name-calling, anyone.

I am looking forward to relaxing this evening. It is all about self-care and doing better.

Philippians 4:13 ESV I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

2022 We Have Less Than Three Days

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Free picture (New Year’s Shiny happy new year 2022 background) from https://torange.biz/fx/2022-background-year-new-happy-shiny-212262

Hey, Y’all!

Today is a drastic change in my weather, from a week ago. We are reaching close to 60° Fahrenheit. There is some light rain. Where last week we were having freezing temperatures with ice and snow. It is nice to have better weather.

I am taking time to listen to worship music even with my caregiver here and a lit candle glowing. It is freeing to just have time in my head and heart while disconnected from my caregiver. It is allowing me my prayer and meditation time even as I write.

I fall so short of my own beliefs many times but no matter, I need my prayer and meditation time. I am also doing my lymphedema pumps on my legs and feet. You can say I am multitasking.

What is upon my heart to share is the fact we have less than 3 days of 2022. My One-Word for 2022 was the word, seek. I have sought through a lot this past year. I continually seek better ways than what I have done in the past. It is in the middle of the quietness I usually get my answers.

I am grateful for the changes in me and many more to come.

I feel an urgency to make these last 3 days count more than any of the 360-plus days before them. There has been a new normal I have been trying for more so in the past nine months. I am feeling my way through while on this path.

There is a saying I strive to live out. “To Thine own self be true.” I seek my own heart to see if it holds God as I understand Him, The Word He has for me. However, I am not perfect and fail daily in some way. But God is all I can say.

My spirit is just being washed in this music as I say my prayer quietly and still. It feels like rain in my soul. For Once, it is not bitter-sweet tears just fresh clean. I smell the scents of nature all around me.

I think about God making everything new. He is making things new for me. My very first One-Word ever was, “Renew.” There have been several words in the past several years. I mention these words because everything is being made like new. I am seeking with my heart and soul. I am excited about the new year.

My prayers are for us all to have our eyes open. I am praying for chains to be broken. I am praying we all experience grace so that we might pass it on to others.

I am grateful for the grace given to me by others; I hope to pass it on.

I am grateful for having closed-mouth friends and being a closed-mouth friend as well.

I do not know all the plans just that I want to be consistent and possess consistency in my life.

May we live out everything we wanted in 2022 in these last three days.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Our Family Is Everything Merry Christmas!

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

Merry Christmas, Y’all!

This is a day late. However, until New Year’s Eve, I consider it Christmas.

I received a lot of precious cards from several people. They do mean so much and I did not get cards out to many people. I feel bad because you know today, everything changes in a heartbeat. But I am grateful to be able to pray for people and situations.

I want to share some words from my Mama and her husband that mean so much to me because it describes us.

“To the son of my heart-and my friend and brother in Christ”

My background is I am adopted, which I believe I have shared before. At the tender age of twelve, my Mama and I had a connection and started as friends. There was a space in time between our meeting and meeting up again. Where she and my dad got me for many weekends and led us into a home study, for them to adopt me. I am skipping a lot to make this part a short story.

Our friendship deepened as I was maturing some days and not so much, other days. God just worked on all of us, and life gets messy in between. I needed a family and to belong in a family. Life got messy in my growing up even more, but love was still there. We had a bond even in the worst of the mess.

Even through my lies and addiction there was a friendship and many times it needed to be revived, but I was still her son. She was still my mama. She prayed for my safety and for me to get honest. It has been a journey. Christmas Eve, we shared a conversation that was pure and honest. The conversation cemented our friendship more so.

The ability to be openly honest with another person is a true gift. What tops that even more is the fact offense is not taken and there is no preface needed.

I am not having to hide my screw-ups today. I am responsible for myself. I will not hide, or pretend, nor will I be blocked in. I get to grow at my pace.

No, we never get out of this life without some regrets. However, I am doing my best to minimize regrets by becoming stronger; and that does not mean anyone will like me any differently. It does mean, change for the better is possible.

When I talk to God, I can be more honest and do better. I can rest better. I can lower my expectations of others and realize not everything, or anyone is perfect. and put more energy into every relationship just a bit better than the day before.

Some of the best gifts have no wrapping paper, curling ribbon, or neat little bows.

While I described this conversation with my mama, the best gift yet. I believe that not just for the family you are raised with, but for everyone in your tribe, this is possible. It does not always happen overnight.

One day though, it can happen.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

My One Word For 2023 Is Consistency

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

It is cold here in Southeast, Missouri at 29°. It is feeling like winter for sure. Christmas weekend is predicted to be cold. I do not feel ready for that kind of wintry weather. However, ready, or not I am certain sooner rather than later Winter will make its presence known.

This weekend I am being productive in getting my carpets cleaned. I started getting a schedule started for 2023 on my calendars, so I do not feel rushed at the beginning of the new year to put everything in the calendars.

It is a clever idea to have a plan together to arrange transportation when needed. It also helps me to understand my schedule so I can give a fair answer to others wanting to schedule me into their plans. It is mostly dealing with the professionals of doctors and visits from health care workers. It also allows me the freedom to schedule time for myself.

I want to do whatever I can to create less stress for myself. It helps me not become angry and ready to scream. I need to be able to do things at my speed and not just be pushed. Pushing myself is better than someone else doing it for me. I do admit sometimes it is important that I reevaluate my speed.

I am striving for less stress and tension and reminding myself it is not the end of the world if my plans do not pan out.

I am just now continuing this blog post entry, this Wednesday Morning with my fresh hot cup of coffee. I began this entry a few days ago.

I talk big for plans most of the time but bringing everything to fruition is a whole other ball game.

I believe the key thing for me is to have smaller goals and to be consistent with the steps to completing those goals in 2023.

What I am discovering and have discovered over and over is being consistent with a smaller list of goals brings better results than doing a larger list never gets completed. There is so much I am behind on, and I want to do better overall rather than just do enough to scrape by.

In the men’s group, I attend we talked about the fact of trying a process once or twice and failing.

The reasons for falling back are not working through the process and our destructive thoughts.

The first thing in many instances is that we do not know the process until we have fully worked through the process. Our destructive thoughts include worrying, timidity, and thinking we are not good enough. We give up before we ever succeed.

When we freeze up, our destructive actions come into play indecisiveness and procrastination.

Committing to the process and giving everything, we have is what is going to get us to grow and succeed.

I am ready for a change to stick to and to keep growing. I do not want to keep falling back and keep starting over.

One of the most freeing things said that jumped out to me from my latest meeting: “What may be a part of my story is not who I am today!”

I am not giving up today!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

What Is It Costing Me To Not Change?

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

My Baked Ziti December 10th, 2022

Hey, Y’all!

I was baking this afternoon into the early evening making my Baked Ziti. I have the spices, meat, and sauce down okay. I still need more practice before I have this recipe down.

As I boiled the noodles, I thought about how each ingredient goes in the recipe to produce a great taste. It did turn out good; it just was not that makes you want to slap your mama taste!

As I was mixing the ingredients I was thinking about each task, person, belief, routine, quality, trait, and gift that makes up our life.

I am having to do a reset even as I write this post. Today has been a total stop-and-reset day so I can write. It takes that meditation time and getting in my zone with God, Whom I have avoided concerning my me time. Dealing with my behavior and thoughts by myself in my choices.

I cannot even pray without getting in the meditation time. Here lately, it has been doing the autopilot self-will run riot just briefly pausing at times and other times not so much. My greatest accomplishment is making the daily check-ins with one person for all five working days I do believe.

I did do check-ins with two other guys for as much as I could with time, or if I were not falling asleep at the wheel you know.

The thing is, I can call upon God for others usually without a problem. However, doing my daily check-in with God has been far away. Thus, here I am resetting.

What does it cost me not to change?

It has cost me my deep meaningful time with God. It has cost me using the right judgment in situations that may have hurt other people and myself by making a stupid mistake in just joking.

It cost me not to state boundaries clearly. I have given others the free pass by saying people will be people. The cost of boundaries crossed is resentment and seething. Yes, this is getting the honesty out because it makes you want to scream!

Everything is happening so fast and in slow motion at the same time and I am saying to myself (did you see what that so and so did, and you did nothing!), oh heck, no! Son of a biscuit eater!

The hardest part is in not forgiving myself and burying one more thing as I seethe.

As it comes up and is pointed out by others then I end up screaming because what am I supposed to do now? It costs a person their sanity and peace of mind.

Change is of utmost importance; it is the path of my growth journey. We can stop raising our red flags to get smacked with some of the stuff that happens to us if we put down our pride and get real.

I want to do the passive role and not make waves. Instead, I make jokes, use sarcasm, and do anything to deflect from the reality of hurt.

This is not to say that I have not grown, I have. It is another growing pain. It is a bump in the road along my journey, which has distracted me.

It takes a reset to call out things for yourself. It costs a high price until you are willing to face reality.

You cannot lay down anything you do not acknowledge; you just bury it until it gets dealt with. You may think you have control just make sure you are not in self-destruct mode.

My journey constantly involves taking a personal inventory of how I interact with life. I hope to make clear boundaries and be mindful when they are crossed. In turn, I can communicate assertively when or if someone has crossed a boundary.

When the first thirty years of your life have been nomadic, you tend to not have clear lines where things start and end. I have never stayed on the same property for longer than five years. I have stayed where I live presently for six and a half years. Because of an absolute must, I have changed apartments, but it is on the same property.

It is five days later as I wrap up this blog post entry.

I am blessed and have much to be thankful for and always room for more growth.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Dude, Where Is Your Peaceful Joy?

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

Let the dominoes lay where they fall! I will pick them up one at a time. I cannot get them all at once because that is taking on too much. I can only deal with one thing at a time. Since it is only one, it means getting my peace and joy back.

I have the door open for fresh air and my worship music going to help me combat the insanity taking place outside my door as I write. I pray silently inside.

I have not written since Thursday of last week followed by two different snowfalls of insignificant amounts that were unexpected. I keep letting things interrupt me. I am bothered by not being back one hundred percent since my stay in the hospital.

Here I am, two or three weeks later. I have my coffee at almost 10 am, with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, butter, and red plum jam toast. I am running way behind. This breakfast tastes good.

I am still healing and will share more positive notes on that soon.

This week is bittersweet as I have my private way of saying goodbye to a friend who left this world and mixed it with the Holiday of Thanksgiving. I have so much gratitude in my heart for this friend of mine, Millie. She and I shared many meals and watched ballgames together.

Millie was always thankful and lived a life that way as she was proud of and loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

It saddens my heart she is gone but grateful she made the world a better place for anyone alone.

Finally, here we are back at the question that started this entry. Dude, where is your peaceful joy?

I get off track and 30let 03other things blind me. Anger hurts, and I lose touch with myself. I must keep current and when I fail my routine, I lose that peaceful joy.

Today I am hearing the music once more, as it plays in the background, and it is bringing me peace.

I must keep grounded and do my absolute best at staying in my twenty-four hours. It is in doing the next right remembering to have and living out my life in thankfulness for the gift of each day.

It is a gift to be able to live today and not fall apart and be inconsolable. I never understood how selfish that can be when others need more from me.

Grieving is a tricky thing that can keep you on a slippery slope that just can keep you trapped. I have been wrapped up in myself enough. It comes down to priorities and keeping up with a plan that keeps me more balanced.

I am ready to do better for myself and still allow time for me to heal fully.

I cannot afford the time for anxiety. If only, taking the suggestions offered adds something to the life I want to live and the person I grow to be.

It is time to get up and act for the day.

Find your gratitude today and live it out.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Life On This Earth Is Temporary

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Walthers Park

Hey, Y’all!

I am here again beginning the second week of my recovery of my post-surgery.

Today is a busy day starting with an early phone call and making breakfast. I am taking my medicine and getting ready for my ride for a lung cancer screening and a trip to the wound clinic for a dressing change.

As of Friday, I have been tracking my vital signs and taking my blood sugar test daily. It is all part of me taking care of myself.

I am dealing with feelings and emotions. I am looking at how my behavior has been and what it is I am looking for and want so that I might reach some goals to make my life better.

I am not always proud of how I behave but I am improving with time.

What do I want my life to look like?

I want to be successful and find a way to be prosperous, and simple. I want to be an example for others. I want to show others and prove to myself I can do anything I set my mind to and to live positively and mindfully that will allow me to be free and not hang on to the guilt of past mistakes.

What will help simplify my life?

Having an organized routine and making the changes possible to follow through. So often we allow people and things to bombard our lives when we are trying to set a routine.

We must be selfish when it comes to our time and spend it wisely because there are only 24 hours in a day and how we spend those 24 hours is completely up to us. We must take responsibility for our decisions because we have a limited number of twenty-four hours allotted to us.

Once we have this perspective it makes it easier to know what we are willing to spend our time on much like having a budget with a bank account.

Our bank account may look limitless but will run dry if we do not invest money and put more in our bank account.

The same is true with our time. We need rest. We must rest otherwise we become depleted of energy and life.

What is acceptable and reasonable?

Taking care of the responsibilities that are mine and which will help further my self-improvement. To have my understanding of God expanded and to understand that God loves me and that I can be loving and accept myself too.

I can take time to answer questions I do not need to respond to immediately just because it is demanded by others.

To have a positive outlook and change things up. To be willing to try new things as the occasion may arise.

To follow a daily routine and realize changes may come that may be pertinent.

What is unreasonable and unacceptable?

Guilt trips from others to try to manipulate my decision process are not okay.

To be irresponsible with time and resources have unnecessary consequences I cannot afford. If I can look at each activity throughout the day and realize the price tag each item has, I would be all the wiser.

What are my accomplishments?

I have completed a GED and obtained my GED in 2011

I have overcome Osteomyelitis through surgery and have all my limbs.

I have made blog entries off and on for years and working my way to writing full-time and getting better with time.

I have made dietary changes and have had to make changes based on finances.

I am initiative-taking in my health care and doing things to help enhance my health. I still have room to grow in this area.

I am taking responsibility for my actions.

What is it in my life that needs improvement?

My writing needs improvement constantly and to be more consistent with my blog.

My daily diet needs improvement. I need more exercise.

I need to call out others when they are responsible for the care of my physical health and neglect those needs fearlessly.

I need to not be a wimp and realize I have rights and stand up for myself in the right ways.

To be more consistent in my routine.

What does success look like for me?

Making money doing what I love and helping others.

To be a rock star at writing and turning my life around.

To be an encourager and full of faith.

To assert me and know my values and treat others with the respect they deserve.

The things I am thankful for:

I am thankful for this second week of recovery and for being willing to be well and grow.

I am thankful for everyone still praying and checking in on me.

I am thankful for the ability to be home, drink my coffee make my own meals and write.

I am thankful for a clean home and a bed and all the basic things.

I am thankful for prayer and meditation and a Loving God as He may express Himself in my life.

Thanks for reading!

 This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!