Facing Everything and Recovering This Too Shall Pass

train with smoke

Photo by Gabriela Palai on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone and Welcome! 

 I have been more than a few days and once again, I am switching gears. 

We will get back to the 4th step, just not right now. 

This week is a busy week and I hope to try to stay current in my writing. It is important for me to write even if it is not always the best writing. It is what helps keep me sane, it does help me process, and I hear it even helps others. 

In the past week, I have mourned over a friend who died. I have been dealing with physical and my own emotional issues as well. 

We all have been dealing with the pandemic and the ramifications of everything to do with it. I know you are sick of hearing about it, as well as myself. I do not want to have to deal with it another day, but that’s not reality. 

It is the suggestion of everything for most of us. For others, it is not that simple. They are facing it head-on. God Bless each one of you. 

I have learned a few things about myself this week. It is important to have the schedule and stick to it. It is the small stuff that trips me up. The reason being when it is small stuff, it adds up and becomes overwhelming.  

For me personally, when I am overwhelmed I have a habit of just staying in bed, not answering the phone, and doing anything I can to avoid the pain. While this is not new to me; it is something I acknowledge. I will not let it remain this way, because after a while there are repercussions of avoiding.  

Inevitably, it is all got to be faced and dealt with. I cannot do this by myself. It is imperative that I have help from others and a power greater than myself. 

I must believe in hope. Without hope, I will perish. I die inside each time I start to give up and say no to those things that would aid in me being able to flourish. 

It goes back to our thoughts, self-talk, and mindset. I am having to ask God to help me change each of these. 

Throughout the day, I have found me yelling at myself to stop it! Then the next breath,  Devil you are a liar and only God’s Word is true.  

This has been my experience. Sometimes it is easier than other times to stay on top of this 

It has been difficult as usual to stay in contact with people who are good for me as well. I must do it and start being consistent with to not be defeated. 

The pain gets real without taking steps to take care of myself. The willingness to go forward means facing it all, feeling it all, and still take responsibility for taking care of myself, the best that I am able. 

It means making those lists and checking them off as I do each thing.  

I hope my actions in writing prove my willingness and consistency. This has been a big challenge I hope to change in. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

 

 

 

 

Gotta Keep Picking Myself Up I’ll Be Okay

red and black train

Photo by Tina Nord on Pexels.com

Hello Everyone! 

 It’s been another long lapse in time since I last blogged.  I do want to be better at time management and being more consistent in writing.  

This week kas been a continuance from the weekend of remembering my dad’s celebration of life and some other memorials throughout my life.  

My assignment has been to feel the feelings. It really sucks to feel the feelings when dealing with grief and other unpleasant emotions. 

I am dealing with my own sickness and even the soul sickness. 

Some might be wondering what a real soul sickness is exactly.  

For me the soul sickness is my disease in my own head that is so self-judgmental in telling me, I don’t have a right to continue to grieve. I have had several other people die in a short time that have touched my life in one way or another. 

The pandemic has magnified a lot of it too, I will also grant that as true.  

On bright side note I will also state I had one full week of not feeling any kind of depression.  

The past 3 days have been jumping through hoops to get things doneI just fall into bed after a day is done. 

I am horrible at follow through even when its for the good of my health and well-being and having to do the pleasant voice act for professional phone calls make me want to scream. 

But I managed to schedule a doctor’s appointment, scheduled a pickup for delivery return, and dropped off a return. I have been playing mix and match with my prescriptions so the right ones get ordered. 

I have not kept up again with family and friends, but the truth is I am feeling fragile. After having to get out yesterday, had me feeling I was going to collapse at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my apartment. 

While a lot of this is just ordinary everyday stuff to toggle through and work out it is exactly the stuff that breaks us. This is known as the small stuff and it’s hard to do, when you’re not sure how much more you can handle. 

To think about self-care in this position is about rest, eating, drinking fluids, taking medications, and my sarcastic side says yes! sometimes getting through by prayer and medication.  

Self-care includes those ten-minute breaks of crying, even though it feels like hours.  

A big misconception seems to be that one is weak for crying. While I do feel weak for crying; I know today that is untrue. 

The pandemic itself has brought on many changes and in some cases, it has taken away a few choices. It sure has brought old and new grief, both. 

Grief makes everything come to the surface. Especially, my fears.  This now becomes a faith walk. I must find gratitude to combat the fear. Some days are easier than others. 

I promised someone I was going to blog Sunday; it is now Wednesday evening. I guess better late than never. 

  1. I am grateful to push through and get several things completed. 
  1. I am grateful for friends to reach out to. 
  1. I am grateful for guidance. 
  1. I am grateful for well wishes and prayers said for me. 
  1. I am grateful even if I am late, I am walking through and feeling the feelings. 
  1. I am grateful I can make this blog entry today. 
  1. I am grateful to have made doctor’s appointments. 
  1. I am grateful for not giving up and throwing in the towel. 
  1. I am grateful to be trying to be less judgmental of myself. 
  1. I am grateful I can stay inside the next several days. I don’t have to get over heated. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

Learning To Walk Graceful and Give Grace

Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels.com

There is so much to share tonight. I dedicate this to our families and loved ones, who have not given up on us. May we continue our walk forward. 

Some of our biggest teachers come from the mommas and the grandmas who pray without ceasing on our behalf. It doesn’t matter what you believe; it’s not about that. 

I had no intention of writing tonight. However, I went to a meeting and upon returning there was a package at my apartment door waiting for me. 

I couldn’t wait to unwrap it as the address and name it contained was from my mom and her husband. Both people I love dearly! 

Inside were shirts which I needed and a size that works and my favorite colors. I couldn’t wait to get a comfy shirt on, it had long sleeves. The kind you can roll half way up and it had a pocket! 

What a beautiful gift! Thank you and for your prayers, Mom and B,!  

Thank you also Grandma for always praying. 

Some people have walked this journey with me the past several months of really getting honest with a program of action.  I have a lot of anger in the past and it’s still with me in some ways. 

But this gift reminded me of grace and love. I am currently working on finally letting go of the anger to free me up. As long as I hold on to anger, I will never be able to walk in the grace I have been given. I will never be able to extend that grace until I let go of the anger. 

I have been holding on to all these bags of rocks in case they were needed. Don’t you know I want to throw these rocks at people who I get vibes off that remind me of certain people from my past. 

But those bags of rocks have been holding me down. They weigh me down. They cause pain for me. Not the other person. The traps I set for others have trapped me. They have enclosed the walls on me. I am suffocating myself. 

We are so busy often looking for an answer to prayer, our prayers, our momma’s prayers, our grandmother’s prayers, our friend’s prayers, when we ultimately, are the answer to prayer. 

All we have to do, is let go and everyone’s prayer is answered. We get to be free. That’s what I want today on my journey. It is time to let go and be free. 

It’s in the program of action.  

  1. Admit my life is unmanageable. 
  1. I get to ask to be restored to sanity 
  1. Turn my will and life over to the care of God as we understood Him. 
  1. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory. All my secrets are written down. Lots of anger and resentments. 
  1. Admitted to God, myself, and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. (Everything I have held on to). 
  1. We’re entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. (Dropping our bags of rocks). 

There’s more to share but this is where I am. I know in a previous post I said I was at step 7, but this is where I am. 

I get to accept what has happened and I get to pray for those in my 5th step that I hold ill will against. This is how I become the answer to my own prayer and everyone else who has been praying for me. 

It’s going to take walking in the grace to get through this step. If I do this then I have a shot at sanity today. I am not affected by some emotional mental disorder if I just let go. 

If I can be free, it’s worth it. 

Thanks for Reading! 

This has been another blogpost entry by Boxcar Mike! Over and out. 

God Bless y’all everybody! 

Resentments, Bondage, Prayer, Forgiveness, Letting Go, and Freedom!

Photo by sergio souza on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone – The following passage is from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous page 552: 

“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free.  

Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway.  

Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate, understanding and love.’ 
 
It worked for me then, and it has worked for me many times since, and it will work for me every time I am willing to work it. Sometimes I have to ask first for the willingness, but it always comes.  

And because it works for me, it will work for all of us. As another great man says, ‘The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it.” 

I have been reading this and using this as a prayer all week. I am going to keep doing it until it takes for a particular person. I have no reason to doubt it works. I may have to keep doing it for a while. I am willing. 

Everything takes as long as it takes. No one else can do your foot work for you. Even in sponsorship, the sponsor is only there as a guide and to help facilitate your choices. 

I happen to believe that God shows up for the honesty and because of His mercy. Certainly not my mercy. My mercy, is so I can be free and that’s the truth. 

Forgiveness is hard. I must remember this when I am asking it of others, for my wrongs.  

With the practice of forgiving and asking for others to be blessed, I have to believe it gets easier as I go along. It always comes back to honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. This is how it works. 

I am hoping to catch up on my posting this weekend, as I have been under the weather all week. That was two weeks ago. 

Now I am trying to get back on track. I now feel better physically and there’s no way to catch up. Now it’s just moving forward. 

  • I am grateful for mercy and forgiveness. 
  • I am grateful for the journey and one more tool to use. 
  • I am grateful God shows up when 2 or more are gathered. 
  • I am grateful I have a choice to change my actions and the end of a chapter. 
  • I am grateful for guidance and maturity ahead of me but also realizing everyone is fallible but probably better seasoned than myself. 
  • I am grateful I don’t have to have it all together.  
  • I am grateful no one has it all together. 
  • I am grateful I do the right things even when I don’t want to. 
  • I am grateful for the hand up. 
  • I am grateful it’s also up to me to pass on what I have been given. 

The bonus for today is even if it feels like a train wreck, it’s not the end of the world. The sun will rise again, regardless. 

Thanks for reading! This post took about three weeks to finish. 

This has been another blog post entry by BoxcarMike, over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

Night Time Prayer and Changes and Pauses

We continually take our inventory and try to step back immediately when something is amiss.   

I am still working on my fourth step and dragging my feet a bit. 

However tonight at a meeting we went over making sure our ground is safe and how to ask for help.  

I just also admit that at times when things are going rough, I still do want a drink. But I think it through today, just like I have the past 15 years. Nothing is worth my sobriety today. 

Tonight, we studied on the way we ask for help. The prayer above shows how we might end our day but we begin each day with asking God to direct our thinking. 

There’s no need to keep on adding to the wreckage along our journey. We have clear it each time we cause it. We get better as we do it. 

One clear idea is that we grow and change or we die. I want to be better each day and some days I do accomplish that. Some days are where Iam busy making amends along the way. No one is perfect and we want progress for sure. 

Our secrets only kill us. It’s to our benefit to be open with another human being. We can also get help in discovering our motives and hopefully rid ourselves of contempt and hate for others. 

We learn to look at our foes as sick people and ask God how we may be of help to them with right motives. 

We make apologies and admit where we are wrong. Sorry is not an apology!  

It’s about learning to be sober and living quality lives. We clean our side of the street as we go and make use of what we learn along the way.  

When we stop growing and refuse to change, we begin to become ill and we are headed for death. For us to drink, is to die. 

The Prayer above is just one more way to be God-Conscious and to concede we are not alone, ever.  

We get the chance to live, learn, listen, and share. Our prayers do not go unheard.  

Change is not always easy. We may not always be willing. But we do concede when we are faced with calamity, that change must take place.  

Today I don’t want to stay stuck. I have a choice to get up and make changes or I die. It really is that simple for the alcoholic. 

I choose life. 

  • I am grateful for the gatherings. 
  • I am grateful we each get to share. 
  • I am grateful for the chance to be around others who want to grow and thrive even when we are tired. 
  • I am grateful to be God-Conscious today.  
  • I am grateful not every day is chaotic as it once was. 
  • I am grateful I get to give of myself today. 
  • I am grateful God hears my prayers. 
  • I am grateful to be losing interest in selfish things. 
  • I am grateful for therapy even when it too maybe too hard at times and I resist it. 
  • I am grateful for the honest feedback from others today. 

Thank you for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

Just When You Think It’s A Blah Day!

Photo by Mark Plötz on Pexels.com

I Some days are easier than others. There’s no rhyme or reason for what just is. Not every day is so super spiritual or feels so gratifying. It’s putting one foot in front of the other going through the motions. 

It does help to review a gratitude list and pray and ask for help. Especially if you have a few days of these type string together as I have had. Anger will pop up if we are not careful. 

I have found this to be true for me and not even know why. Sometimes, truthfully, I don’t care why or even want to trace my steps back to find out why. 

I am finding emotions popping up as I finish this this fourth step. Things are coming out in conversations I never intended to even explain to people.  

That really bothers me because I wanted to wait until I say everything at once with a closed mouth friend. I am finding out though, I am not even in charge of how things go.  

It so seems, when I asked God to help me, he took that request serious and I have no control of the outcomes.  

Everything is making me question whether we can really take credit for growth if God can even use our worse defects for his own plan. I’d have to say I can’t take any credit for any growth.  

I feel more annoyed with the lack of enthusiasm in this particular blog post entry. Oh well! I promised to be transparent with this journey. 

I stepped away for a few hours and now I am armed with more information about my day. I am grateful I woke up today and that I am sober. 

My heart hurts for others really having a bad time of it. I am learning I can pray and don’t have to stay sad. 

When friends go back out it can be hard maybe because of our own egos. I am not sure. 

But it’s like this: we didn’t get them sober and we can’t get them drunk. I have to believe God exists and Iam not Him. There’s something divine and mysterious both at work, when prayer happens. Let’s not forget Thy will not mine be done. 

I am not the judge of anyone. I can’t be. Life is hard and we have no idea what each other are going through. Let’s just handle each other with the loving care we have been show.  

Patience and tolerance are not my suit by nature but just for today may I show it just the same as I’ve been shown. 

  • Iam grateful for the loving God in my life today. 
  • Iam grateful because people have never given up on me (the real ones). 
  • I am grateful because Iam trusted to show love and tolerance even when I have failed miserably at it. 
  • I am grateful I can pause sometimes. 
  • I am grateful others are there when I need them most. 
  • Iam grateful grace has been there even when I had nothing but vulgar words to say and people don’t stop encouraging me. 
  • I am grateful some amends I make are more prompt than they used to be. 
  • I am grateful for the smiles and they aren’t fake ones today. 
  • I am grateful I can remind others they are important and matter to my sobriety today. 
  • I am grateful my day can change. 

Thank you for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out! 

God Bless Y’all  Everybody! 

A Moment of Silence For Those Still Suffering

Photo by Fabio Partenheimer on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone,  

Today I am preparing for a meeting Sunday I will be chairing.  

 11th Step  

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him.” 

I think about the format of the meeting and how it in itself really prepares us to think about others before ourselves. 

We Start with the serenity prayer and a moment of silence before it begins to think about and lift up those in and out of the meeting rooms, who are still suffering from the disease of addiction and alcoholism. 

Those of us who gather around the tables are so blessed to have each other and the opportunity to stay plugged in. 

The other day I had a chance to share with someone about my need for meetings and how sick I get without them.  

I explained how I have hidden in meetings and wow it really shows how much when I look yp with a guilt-ridden face. Often feeling embarrassed I am not farther along the path of this journey. 

The fact is that moment of silence was a prayer for those to grab on to the life saver and be willing to help their self with honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. The How, in “How it Works. 

The very fact is some people die going to meetings all the time. It is true insanity as well from not using and working the steps. In other words, a head full of knowledge, but little to no recovery. 

It doesn’t have to be this way but it takes the willingness to change. Often it is by the prayers of others, that our eyes get opened wide for the first time. 

The spirituality of this program is often described as magical. May it be so, as many will find the recovery with the right motives and action. 

I guess I view even the moment of silence as magical when I am grounded and think of others in and out of the rooms. 

We will stay sick until; we are sick and tired of being sick and tired, of being sick and tired. 

Once we have started on this program of action, we have the responsibility to reach out for anyone who wants the solution to the insanity we have tolerated for so long. 

If you’re sitting a meeting and feel like you’re drowning in your own stuff. It’s up to you to call out for help and take the direction from someone.  

There is hope and as I think about seeking through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as we understood him, I have the opportunity to recover and so can you. 

I have a lot to look at today and some of it is the same stuff but on a different level. Some of it is figuring out where I take my thoughts to change my story in the end. 

We don’t have to remain the same, we can change. Together we can! 

  • I am grateful for the opportunity to change. 
  • I am grateful for the strength in the number of people with me. 
  • I am grateful for the chances I have had to fall on my face proving I cannot do this alone. 
  • I am grateful when I stuck out my hand someone grabbed on to it and said c’mon! 
  • I am grateful in some way I can stick out my hand too. 
  • I am grateful for the main person who gives me rides and to others who have helped as well. 
  • I am grateful for the God of my understanding and as I don’t understand Him, that He understands me. 
  • I am grateful to be okay today and not just fine. 
  • I am grateful for unconditional love. 
  • I am grateful we are all walking each other home just one day at a time. 

This has been a blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out! 

Thank you for reading! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

Step Three Relieve Me of The Bondage of Self

Photo by Mark Plötz on Pexels.com

Hi Everybody! 

This is the second part to step three. My will power is useless because I want to try and control situations and people with it. Therefore, it is improperly used and foolishly burned up. 

My dependence has to be up on God. I have not always been able to do this perfectly and I still don’t. It is a lot of zig zags, ups, and downs.  

I don’t have it all together. Maybe I need to realize I have tried to say that I have had it all together; and Iam telling you now that is in error.  

I just have some days that are better than others. I am hoping to be more steady and grow more along this journey.  

To figure out Gods intention for me seems a deep mystery. I do know there is a plan and a solution even when I don’t think so. 

Taken from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Book of AA on pages 40 and 41 :  

“In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy Will, not mine, be done.” 

I have often said it without the thought of thy will not mine be done. This at first may have been because it was it was shorter. Now I know a lot of times instead I was forcing my own will and not allowing God to be God. 

Today I know I really do want to rightly relate myself to God. I did at first in recovery is the group as God. That worked for a while but then I let go to dependence on one or two people and I became unhealthy. 

When those failed, I realized I had a deeper need and sometimes today it is still hard but I am trying to let God be God to the best of my ability. 

If you are anything like me you get in your own way a lot.  

Heck, sometimes I have even blocked help that was readily available but my heart and attitude was not always right, to receive that help. 

The biggest reveal to me in this journey is that I have often put myself in sticky situations. It has been hard to accept responsibility for the mess I have created; at times I still want to blame others or situations. 

I really want to mean this today each time I read or say this other simple prayer known as Third Step Prayer:  

God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life.” 

  • I am grateful that I have prayers to rely upon 
  • I am grateful for strength, when I feel weak. 
  • I am grateful for rides to the gatherings around the tables. 
  • I am grateful to be included today. 
  • I am grateful I don’t have to stay bitter. 
  • I am grateful for prayers of others. 
  • I am grateful I have people who love and care about me. 
  • I am grateful life doesn’t have to be as hard as I make it out to be sometimes. 
  • I am grateful someone can point the way for me to get out of my own way. 
  • I am grateful for the stillness I can ask for when I remember to and the peace that affords. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike Over and Out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody! 

Step Three Part One Acceptance And Willingness

Photo by Prabath Gamage on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone! 

Today I am sharing on the first part of step three.  

I will preface this with the fact I do not pretend to have all the answers. I can only share my experience, which may seem limited in the scheme of things.  

Let’s bring the steps up to speed in my journey. 

Step One, I had to admit there was a problem at the crux of that the problem is me. Everything else was a symptom. It showed my life as unmanageable. 

Step Two, showed a way out as I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. It’s a process. 

Step Three, “made a decision to turn Our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” I personally always add, also as I don’t understand Him. It’s a personal thing in my journey. 

Just as a side note: there is a saying in 12 Step Meetings that meeting makers make it. That is only half true. I hid out in meetings for years not doing the footwork.

I have to really accept a program of action today, and be willing to do whatever is necessary to continue.  

Otherwise, I am dead. 

Step Three begins with acceptance and willingness. I have to accept God and realize I am not Him. It actually began in step two. Step three, just shows a decision being made by following through.  

I have to really be on guard though, as my self-will can slam that door shut and has many times. But willingness once again can reopen the door. 

My self- sufficiency and self-reliance don’t fill the bill. Furst of all self-sufficiency is almost nonexistent for me and self-reliance just means I am trying to act alone as God. 

It doesn’t work because all of that hatred, bitterness, and anger come flooding back in. I don’t even have to drink for this to be true. However, the warning is it will all lead me back to a drink, unless I quit playing God. 

I am my own worst enemy and I get in the way of my own recovery a lot. I am not willing to stay stuck today or pay the price for playing God.

It must mean I am willing to finally, turn my will and my life over to the care of God as we understood Him.  This the only solution that seems palatable to me. 

  • I am grateful for the willingness and acceptance. 
  • I am grateful to not have to do this thing alone. 
  • I am grateful for moments of peace. 
  • I am grateful for gatherings and meetings. 
  • I am grateful I can be of service. 
  • I am grateful for finding strength. 
  • I am grateful for others who care. 
  • I am grateful for the trust of others and that I am learning to trust more than myself. 
  • I am grateful I don’t have to be hospitalized today. 
  • I am grateful for rides from others. 
  • I am grateful I can care for others be there today. 

Thanks for reading! 

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike Over and Out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody!  

Came To Believe A Power Greater Than

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

Hi Everybody! It’s great to be back to share about Step 2 of the 12 Steps. 

Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.  

A lot of us joke that we should have had sanity first before we could be restored to us. Others of us it hits very close to home. I like to think that it’s a God or a power greater than, that is restoring my whole self and that it would include sanity even if I didn’t have sanity before. 

When I first came to the rooms, I was willing I thought to do anything it meant to stay sober. Sure, I repeated prayers and gave all the answers I thought they wanted to hear.  

I was not really ready for God. I didn’t want to hear about God or the belief thing. The fruit of my soul even proved that. I kept on not being able to stay sober because of it. I didn’t even realize that until now as Iam writing this but that’s the truth. I couldn’t believe that you believed because it was not enough.  

Though I would mouth the words I believed. I was definitely a belligerent one on the inside. As a child I believed God for anything and believed Him on His word.  

This is an important part of the journey. This is where we are making a formation of our journey ahead. It’s important to know what we believe in and what we are coming to believe to restore us to sanity.  

As an adult I was not so ready to believe. I had to stop the lies and lying. Steps One through twelve are all about surrendering to a program of action. This comes by believing in a power greater than myself, I do call God today.  

I first started by mouthing the words and just trying to follow along with the rest of the requirements. It was not enough. I had to come to believe. I was still reeking of alcohol and alcoholism. You see it was a thinking problem too. This is why I needed sanity. I need sanity still today. 

This means stopping the fear too. I still have alcoholic thinking even after 15 years of not drinking. So, when I first got here it was about not being willing to believe. Lip service just leads to another drunk. 

Today it is about doing it piece-meal with my belief. It allows me to grow in a relationship with God. I didn’t have to swallow all of the God concept at once.  

I have more to write on this as well as more reading to do. I will add a part two to the second step. 

This is a good resting place for now. 

  • I am grateful for God the power greater than myself. 
  • I am grateful for the second step and that I can be restored to sanity. 
  • I am grateful I can pause today and think about everything that it took for me to believe and have faith. 
  • I am grateful for prayer and meditation. 
  • I am grateful for friends. 
  • I am grateful to my readers. 
  • I am grateful that I can take the time to trace my anger back to what fear it is Iam having today. 
  • I am grateful for lunch with a friend. 
  • I am grateful for that cup of coffee first thing in ther morning. 
  • I am grateful for laughter. 

Thanks for reading! This is Boxcar Mike with another day of gratitude and sharing on the steps of recovery. Over and Out! 

God Bless Y’all Everybody!