people

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

May 2016

Hey Y’all!

I am back!

Right before Christmas, I was in ICU for a day and I was moved to a regular room for another several days. I remained ill for some time and the rest has been trying to get back to life.

I am very blessed to have people praying, calling, and answering when I call as well. I also received a few cards for which I am grateful and over three months late in thanking people for them.

I struggle with trying to find a normal routine.

Tonight, something happened to help me find my happy place in writing again. A teenage Boy Scout interviewed me! His dad, who is a friend of mine, was present. But it was in his dad’s prompting and his asking me questions that I realized I want to organize my thoughts better and be more dedicated to the things I love which also enrich my spirituality.

The funny part in all of this is they were coming after a scout meeting to give jump the battery of a car I am driving at present. But they more than helped me. I hope that I was of help to them also.

I had every intention of going to bed early, but I became excited enough to write.

Everything that I love points back to God. It is because of God that I am reminded of everything I love that feeds the soul and connection between others, me, and God. I am here because of God and others are around because of God and connecting with my soul seeing me when I do not.

Sometimes chance meetings or interviews are just divine appointments reminding us that we are genuine and that we have a message to share. The most important message sometimes that we have to share comes from deep within our souls that we also need to hear.

What I heard from my friend sharing with his son about my story in that little bit of time reminds me more, we are walking each other home. It feeds my soul. We feed each other.

The boy inside of me needs to hear the message inside of me in my soul. If you catch me most days, I deny how I love people; but I am wrong. I love people! I want to know, share, and exchange with others our stories.

I say I hate people in a way to deflect because of the hurt I have caused and the hurt I felt. I say it sometimes to think that I am being funny. What I truly hate is the fact that each of us can hurt each other. It is painful and cuts us deeply with just a careless word.

Now there is another point here, and that is knowing when you must stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be steam-rolled. Sometimes that includes a real fight and war. It means defending yourself and what is yours.

Is that not always the question, where is the balance? We find balance in the true message. Let’s keep seeking, walking, helping, loving, hoping, and praying.

It is good to be back, I love y’all!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I Love You, I Love me, Let’s Walk Together

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone,

I am thankful I am at home getting to write to you all today. Yesterday, I was not sure if I would get to be at home as I was and I am dealing with real physical issues. I sat in an exam room for couple of hours or more waiting on kidney test results from blood work and conversations to take place.

The blood work came back great. However, I am swollen from below my chest down to my feet. For five days I will be on 80 mg of Lasix and drinking normal amount of water. A lot of other tests and seeing my primary tomorrow. I hope to get to come home tomorrow.

I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Every time I go through something I start to wonder if this is what the end looks like for me. The truth is I do not think so. It is all about learning new adjustments.

I told a nurse I loved her and meant it. I wanted to say different to be cute. I really do not like being emotional because then I am vulnerable. If I am vulnerable, I must consider everything I am saying and truly reflect on my reality and what I truly feel.

Over the weekend I took some direction and attended two Zoom meetings. Certain ones have been on me for a while to do this. It has taken the better part of a year, but I did it. I felt at home and something awakened inside me again. I even said I love myself.

I have not been able to say that for years. Part of me wonders if my body went into shock over me saying I love me and meaning it. I really do love me and can still say so, so far.

I took a long break. I attended my third zoom meeting with the same bunch of people and stayed for the meeting after the meeting.

Before I attended the meeting tonight, I was freaking out about possibilities and outcomes for my doctor’s appointment tomorrow.         I called three people and avoided calling two people because I did not want them to worry. All three people called me back and one came over.

I was hugged in the 2 phone calls or at least felt so. The one who came over gave me a hug and helped me reinforce a bandage as well. That is when I headed straight to my zoom meeting.

I know I am loved by lots of people.

In my meeting, I listened to two speakers share their experience, strength, and hope.

After the meeting is where I hear the camaraderie and even experience it a bit. At the urging of all people present, I got two guys’ phone numbers to call for my fear tomorrow and just to let them know what is going on.

I have a journey to keep on trudging through. I have a responsibility to myself and others. I want to share what really becomes experience, strength, and hope.

I must remember there is so much to be grateful for.

Thank you for taking this walk with me.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!