Love

It Becomes A Holy Moment In Recovery

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Hey, Y’all!

I am back and looking forward to sharing more in this entry.

I have shared some about my recovery and my journey since being clean and sober. I can tell you now that in my experience finding recovery in your inner being and seeing it work is holy. You find it in others and it is just as holy seeing it work in their lives also.

When changes happen by forgiving and allowing your will to change.

You see in my world, there is law and order mandated by God. Yet God in His divine ways, which are higher than my ways, made a way for grace and mercy. Because of grace and mercy, a way gets made out of no way.

I found forgiveness is for me when it comes to me forgiving others. What forgiveness does for me is much more than I ever knew. Forgiveness means I am letting go. Forgiveness means I am withdrawing myself from that story. If I have been offended it means something touched me deeply that was awakened in me.

Forgiveness gives me the freedom to finally deal with myself and God.

I thought being forgiven had taught me something. However, when I learned about being the forgiver, I was in for a true awakening. I am still not finished learning about forgiving and being forgiven.

To reiterate why forgiveness is holy is that it means I want peace more than my right to stay offended. It frees me and the other person both. I do not have to stay enslaved to the pain and hurt. It is one less thing to carry in my excess baggage.

There is yet another part of forgiveness and that is forgiving ourselves. It is another way of saying that excess baggage because when I arrived in the rooms of recovery I had a long list of both hurts I had caused and a mountain full of hurts in my mind of what was done to me. Also, not all of the hurts were just in my mind. On both counts, I wore that shame. My heart was hard and I was scared of facing a day without a drink and having to face the real stuff. I let them lead me to doctors for pills.

Okay, let’s do pills. What could they hurt? A lot especially, when you go back out and add alcohol. Smoking a joint was trickery for me Id get high and then am paranoid as heck.

But I digress, shame was at the root of everything. Wrongs were done both drunk and stone-cold sober. My heart got very hard back then.

Recovery has changed me. I have to face myself and everything I am still in the process of letting go. In my journey recently my heart was hardening some. I was staying angry and holding on to some things.

I was starting to doubt my recovery and it welled up in me in a moment and shocked me as I saw it work in a particular moment with another person. I had my mind made up Sunday Night that I was gonna blast someone with words Monday Morning.

It changed at a moment’s notice when communicating with someone else we ended up helping each other. It softened my heart. It changed the course of my actions.  Today has been a day of more softening of my heart and more rest for the body and soul.

I will say I cannot afford to keep going in circles. By not forgiving I am allowing my shame to deepen, therefore, making it even harder to forgive.

I am the one who makes me crazy when I refuse to forgive. I want recovery more than ever. This is not philosophical, this is real.

As I close, I am leaving you with these three verses from The Holy Scriptures.

  • For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14 (ESV)
  • 15. but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16. since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”  1Peter 1:15-16 (ESV)
  • 8. He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 (ESV)

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Saying Goodbye To A Friend Friday Night

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Hey, Y’all!

I have not been able to finish any writing lately. I have started a few blog post entries, but finishing the pieces was impossible. I am happy to find my way in another route. The timing had to be right. Some stories are not mine to tell and some have to wait for time to pass. 

I can see more clearly now. Sometimes, it is just about waiting and having rest.

My friend and neighbor died on the morning of the last day of March. She did all she could and finally, it was time for her to pass from this earth. A week later we (her friends and loved ones all gathered together), all saying the final goodbye to her.

I will say in her death, there were many lessons for all of us to learn from. I found many lessons for myself.

One of the lessons I learned was everyone lives and dies in the way of their choice. Everyone has their own beliefs. Each person in effect will live and die accordingly.

Another lesson I learned, there is not always the time when you say, “I will be right back.”

Still, yet, the other lesson I learned is, you cannot make everyone happy no matter how you live and die.

Dying is hard for everyone. There is a responsibility and need for dignity in both living and dying.

Harsh words and unsettled affairs can never be taken back or settled once death has taken place. Make the most of your time now. Leave this earth with no regrets.

Be ready and prepare as much as possible right now. Having medical directives for a living will and the last testament prepared, leaves less room for misinterpretation. You have a better chance of your last wishes being kept and respected. Not doing anything to prepare leaves open everything to misinterpretation and little choices that represent your true wishes.

Funeral homes are in business to make money. Our choices in how our remains are cared for are up to us. Having as much spelled out and paid for in advance saves the added stress later on, for loved ones suffering from shock and grief.

These are the lessons I have learned so far in this journey. Yes, death is a part of all of our journeys.

Things I will miss with my friend Shirley, are late-night country music barbecues. Looking at the stars and watching the neighbors and goings on in the neighborhood.Watching tv shows together and having snacks and sweet tea while often on the phone or sitting in her living room.

Thanksgiving and Christmas times The many hot afternoons with ice pops and treats. Sharing meals for no particular reason.

Shirley had her niece make Mexican food for me with freshly baked brownies. This was shortly after I got out of a temporary stay at a rehab skilled nursing facility.

Our first time together was on the Fourth of July barbecue, which Jean our mutual friend/neighbor and her husband hosted, as I was being moved into my new apartment. We each baked cookies, cakes, pies, and cobblers.

Shirley was feisty, sarcastic, and funny. When Shirley was serious she did not mince words. She was my friend and a generous person who was light-hearted. The pain was too great and after many miraculous comebacks, time was no more here on earth, for her.

I will forever miss Shirley. Good Night Sweet Lady and Friend!

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Willing To Do Be BetterThan Yesterday

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Hey, Y’all!

We want things to change and be better. We want everything and everyone around us to be of a higher standard and to meet our needs accordingly. The sky is the limit! We are reaching for those stars. If we pay attention and look closely, maybe everything is better than we could ever hope for.

Here begs the question. Are we willing to do better and be better than yesterday? Are we willing to come up to a higher standard? I am just remembering after reading so many times, “we cannot transmit something we have not got.” If we do not have something we cannot give it.

I know from my experience, one day I can turn around and see the change in others. However, I may still be holding on to judgments, pettiness, and anger. Meanwhile, everything and everyone else around me has changed and come up to a higher standard. Suddenly, it is a whole new ball game. The team is ready for us. Are we ready for the team?

We suddenly realize it is not about who is better.  Are we willing to be better than yesterday? Even if we have something, we can lose it or give it up. In most cases, we give it up in trading what we might have for something newer, shinier, and bigger.

If we are not careful death becomes us.

In the beginning, the thing we most wanted was to free ourselves and all of those around us. Our vision becomes clouded by the things we refuse to let go of. What we know suddenly becomes everything we have believed from assumptions and decisions we made long ago. We decided and so it was until we decided to change. That is if we make that decision.

Pain has been my biggest motivator in making changes. It has taken both physical and emotional pain. Sometimes, even just seeing the pain caused in others by my decisions and actions. I admit, mostly it is my personal feeling of pain.

If we just take the opportunity to be open to hearing others out. I said the words not too long ago; that most people just need us to listen so they can unlock themselves. I remember once a friend of mine suggested that I have tunnel vision.

I was so wrapped up in myself that I had not even noticed the sarcasm in his voice. I asked him if it was fatal and if it was permanent. His answer was plain, it could be fatal, and it could be permanent if I was not willing to change some things.

It would be many years before changing my ways. I am still changing and have gone back and forth.

Some days are simply better than others. On the whole, everything is better, and I am better than I once was.

Yesterday I heard the word, humility. Humility is in the way of not waiting or wanting applause for choosing to do the next right thing by others.

It comes down to putting off our selfishness and letting go of my old ideas. It is seeing the good in everything and everyone.

It boils down to finding gratitude in the hardest of things we often go through.

We soon learn to be grateful for all the doors that close and the doors that open to us.

Psalm 119:105 (ESV)

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

I hope to continue writing and sharing my journey more consistently.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Come With Me On My Journey By Accident

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Hey, Y’all!

It has been too long again, y’all! It has been over a month since I have written. I woke up after an hour and a half nap and knew it was time to write. Let us just walk together, as I tell you things that have happened along my journey. I woke up laughing.

In my sleep waking up I was listening to Jase Robertson share something along the lines of God is not going to stop everything in creation to say; Hey hold up everyone, Jase made a mistake! We need to wait. (Note: Jase, if you read this I may have taken your words out of context). People tell me I hear wrong a lot of the time.

Once I said the words, God is ready for me to write out loud to myself, this light that has been burned out for a week, suddenly flickered on! Is this by accident? I think not. I even told my mama today; I have not written in like a month.

It seems I could not go on without another infection happening, this new year. The ailments that go along with the infection of being tired all the time and dragging. Some more effects in which I will belabor the point.

However, there is a difference this time in treating the infection. Thankfully, the days of needing the PICC Line are gone. The labs in the pharmacy take an antibiotic and some pumps of this gel mix it up and put it directly on the wound.

However, knowing the cause of the infection type and what bacteria is growing from a culture is necessary to know in this treatment.

I caution everyone to seek a professional. DO NOT ATTEMPT ON YOUR OWN!

Suffice it to say in my experience this is working! Hallelujah! What a miracle. Thank you, God!

My wonderful care worker (L) has gone on to another client so that he/she could get better hours, meaning a full-time check. Before L left, I asked L if I could pray for L. This is out of my comfort zone, yet it happened!

God told me to pray for L. I asked for forgiveness in that prayer if anything I said or did cause harm or was a stumbling block for healing and forgiveness and that L would be blessed as L went forward. At the end of that prayer, we both just said Wow!

I talk to God, I tell Him how badly I mess up at things.

I just could not get over what I thought I heard Jase say. It is like am I that self-absorbed to think all of creation must stop because I am struggling with all kinds of mistakes? How selfish! If it is what Jase said or not, those are the words I was to hear. I can laugh at the incredulous of my thoughts.

Micah 6:8 (ESV)

He has told you, O man, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Freedom Begins When We Stop Comparing Ourselves

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Hey, Y’all!

I am up late writing because I am experiencing some physical pain. I cannot control the pain. I hope and pray by following the suggestions of my doctors and nurses, I can help alleviate the pain. It helps stop the pain when I use the lymphedema pumps on my legs and feet. Praying helps but actions do back up the prayer.

Following directions is imperative for my healing. This is something I have had to learn in the past decade or more.

I must admit that following directions is not something I have done well. I have improved over the years. I hope to achieve a better understanding of how to keep improving, on listening and doing what is suggested in all of the areas of my life.

We can ask for help, but if we are not listening and following directions, we will not know how to change or improve our state of being.

I have heard that changing takes patience, practice, and time. Time takes time. If all we have are words, we cannot change without actions that match up to the words. I am impatient with myself and others when it comes to change.

I have parroted phrases thinking it was enough to make a change in myself. Why? I was comparing myself to others and others said it was the right way. I tried mimicking others, but I did not have the directions for making the changes.

Anyone who has ever worked an equation with algebra knows you can have all the right letters, numbers, and powers to the numbers, but if you do not have the directions for solving the equation, you cannot show the work for the answer.

I am above no one. I did not know how to make the necessary changes in my thoughts. I compared myself to others and had lofty thoughts of who I thought I wanted to be. That has always been the case in my life. It still gets me in trouble, to this day.

I need reminders so that I do not get myself isolated or bogged down in my thoughts because I am comparing myself to others. It is that which I compare myself to that keeps me bound. When I compare myself to something unrealistic, I am enslaved, trying to be that which I am not.

Today I have some directions and suggestions from others and it is helping me change. Some days are better than others.

When I compare myself to others or try to be someone I am not I cut myself off from God and others.

I heard it said years ago if you hang around a barbershop long enough you will get a haircut. Being the people watcher I am, I started watching the different haircuts and would pick one out thinking it would change me. I was not the cool person I saw. I was still me; I was doing the same things I had always done.

It is the thoughts of ourselves we must change. We are not all that and a bag of chips. We are neither lowly nor miserable pieces of garbage. We can live a life that is true to what we are supposed to be. But it is doing necessary action daily.

We start finding gratitude and seeing the beauty in life. We learn what having respect for ourselves and others means. We not only start speaking differently but we take the actions necessary to grow in deeper love for life. We find that we are not only hearing mere words but directions that we comprehend.

We lose our chains and become free.

Proverbs 4:26 ESV

Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Life Changing Heard Forgiveness Is For The Forgiver

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Hey, Y’all!

Forgiveness is for the forgiver. I heard this in a message two weeks ago. Though this is not new to me, it is a fact. I believe it is our thoughts that make forgiveness difficult. Thoughts become feelings if we do not stop the thoughts.

For instance, in writing this blog post entry I have had many thoughts as someone was in the room to interrupt me. I became angry and annoyed by anything they did. I do not always get the choice to write while being alone in the room.

What does this mean? I have a resentment and lack of trust for them. It is a basic trust issue. I am unsure why or what it is other than behaviors I do not care for. Yet, these behaviors are some of the same ones I have exhibited before as well.

Because we have grown in an area others may not have, we place ourselves above them. It still comes down to protecting ourselves from things we learned that are hurtful. We do not wish to feel that hurt or necessarily cause that same hurt. Do we not still want others that cause us to hurt to pay handsomely? After all, we had to pay, so they should pay!

I know as I rewrite this blog post, many conversations are taking place in my head. My thoughts are having court take place and I become the judge. Many times, it comes down to dismissing the cases. How do we let the cases go? It is difficult as the thoughts keep coming. The thoughts are more annoying than the acts we see. We must free ourselves before we can free anyone else.

Every act of forgiveness begins with forgiving ourselves, allowing our negative thoughts, hurts, and behaviors of others to take root in us.

I attest to the fact when the actions of others take root in me unless  I stop the thoughts, I begin rationalizing my revenge.

If I can stop the thoughts and step back, I  have a chance to redirect my focus. It may mean distancing myself long enough to work through the feelings I have allowed. I must look within myself and take stock of my actions. If I just ignore the situation, an innocent bystander may get the brunt of my wrath.

I have been embarrassed by my behavior. Was being embarrassed enough to change my behavior? Not most of the time. Why? Because I believed I could hide my behaviors and embarrassment. I kept the vicious cycle going. It kept me locked within myself. I could not be free. This is still true unless I forgive myself.

If I am not careful when I step back I isolate myself with my thoughts instead of working through them. This is damaging to my soul. I must take control of my thoughts, so my thoughts do not take control of me.

Recently,  I binge-watched a show I love and have seen every episode before. It shows a woman wrestling with her belief in God. I will not tell you the name of the show, because I am not sure it is healthy to watch. To get to my point every time I am wrestling with myself, I find I am wrestling with God and my beliefs.

There’s also a song some of us, once sang for communion, and in that song was a line, “if I don’t back down I hope you win.” This is where I am every time I want to be centered and let go.

We can wear unforgiveness like a rock around our necks or we can let go of that rock, to save ourselves.

Matthew 22: 36-40 ESV

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? ” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Forgiveness comes down to loving my neighbor as myself. Man, I hope I hear that!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by BoxcarMike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all everybody!

Comfort Songs Cooking Helping Others Here There Everywhere

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My Bluffs!

Hey, Y’all!

Today is more comfort time. Getting out walking is making the goal. I am hoping my help is good to others, wherever I can.

I am listening to artists from childhood which brings me comfort. BJ Thomas mainly (do not laugh, there was part of that time we had limited radio stations and only certain vinyl records were allowed). I see memories in my mind from some of that music which just reminds me of those times talking to God on the bluffs.

Going and sitting on bluffs was my freedom! God kept that spot safe for me. I believe that with all my heart still today. I could not make it to the bluffs when staying in town with the pastor and his wife. So I settled for the church parking lot, and often I got in the vans to start them up and listen to the radio for hours. I do admit I raced those engines pretending to be a race car driver.

It was a different time and all was so wrong with my world. I believed in God with all my heart.

The way it is now I have had a harder time as life went on. Today I am doing everything I know to get back to the belief I had then. It is just that I am still messed up in ways, some days more so than others. I just know there is so much grace and love.

Do you know? It is when I am writing I feel my whole heart in prayer. It is like open heart surgery but with prayer. That does not mean I do not still see the rage and some of the scenes in my life. I sometimes feel the rage even more, but that is when it takes me writing and praying even more.

The stuff I stumble over today is still huge in ways. I do get heartsick opening my phone and seeing all the plans ahead. I get heartsick seeing the headlines. I cannot fathom what we and other places call justice.

So, you see sometimes it just is taking care of myself in other ways. You cannot unsee some stuff and some stuff you must look at as a warning. It is coming but few believe it so. We can push ourselves away and hide but it is there just the same.

I am not here to tell anyone what to do; I am just making observations like anyone else and taking mental notes. This is also as much as I make the same mistakes often, I take stock of my life so much. I am so wrong in many ways. There comes a point when change must be done more concretely than ever before!

I am no better than anyone. I am just making my way. I am certainly not a threat to you. I hope to be friends. The same as if were in a car, just talking as we travel. Maybe sitting around a campfire sharing deep and not-so-deep thoughts.

Philippians 2:3 ESV

 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Comfortable Saturday For Rest And Refocusing Today

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Hey, Y’all!

I am here today thanking You, God!

I purposely slept in until 10:30 a.m. and I did enjoy it. I am still enjoying my coffee from a small brunch I made myself. My candles are lit, and the music is turned on to keep me calm and quiet in my heart. I just need to enjoy the day and still accomplish a few things as I rest.

I most enjoy not having anyone here today because I just need time where no one is invading my space. Though, I know people are here to help me. Sometimes, though, it feels like I am paying rent to just have people here to interrupt my day. Perhaps, that is their purpose after all.

If left to myself on a given day, I might lose my sense of purpose. I know in some way; I might be helping them as well.

Today is comfortable, and it is not like I am giving up all my responsibilities.

I am refocusing today on how this next week might go, and what will better help me accomplish more.  

Someone asked that I add them to my calendar next week. I said that I must call them next week as I see how it plays out. I have more people to add to my calendar as well.

The people I want to add to my calendar, have not been able to talk about realistic dates and times possible. The main cause we have the thing in common is just seeing how we are going to do with our new goals and regular work weeks.

I am listening to this song called “Fear Is a Liar’ Fear, he is a liar. He will steal your rest and happiness. This is true. When I allow fear to come into my head, my rest and happiness get stolen. I do not wish to live my life in fear.

I must find faith and act on it. This takes reordering my thought process. I must think good things. If I concentrate on negative things it takes me back to fear. I have allowed much over my lifetime to be taken or, how about this, I gave away.

I gave away too much. In return, I was called dirty and trash. I was called worthless and a bad seed.

I did not get clean and sober to live in a way, that brings those negative things upon me. No one should ever say those things to another human being. Ever! It is not about showing you my scars; it is to make a point about living a real life.

I have a purpose in this life otherwise, I would not be here. If we did not have a purpose none of us would be here. Our mission is to find that purpose and live it. I do not want to fade away. Living a life of faith is hard at times.

I do see failures this past week. I also see, I still got up each day. That in itself is a success for me.

You see, today is a comfortable day for me. I am running to God today, hoping to change my thoughts and renew my mind. I want to think about good things. I am refocusing so that my efforts for the upcoming week shall be more successful.

Here is a short story, and then I will be close closing. This story takes in a small town in Missouri next to some railroad tracks.

I was 19 or 20 years old. I am driving this big and heavy car. In fact, for my car people out there, it is a 1970-something, Mercury, Montego. It had been raining. Sure enough, a train is coming that will take some time to pass. The liquor store is only minutes from closing. This shows my priorities.

We must get to that liquor store before it closes. Mind you, there is a full carload of people. In my intelligence, I decide to make a U-turn on this narrow road with mud on both sides of the road.

Well, I fishtail and slide off into what is a ditch of solid mud! I am determined to get back on the road. The tires are spinning. It becomes apparent, we are going to need to push this car. Well, I go to get out of the car. Holy Cow! The car door will not open. That is right, I spun the wheels so much that I buried the frame of the car.

The next day, a farmer towed the car out with a tractor. Thankfully, the girls had walked to the liquor store.

What is my point in telling you this story? The point is you need some traction so you are not just spinning your wheels. If you have no traction all of your efforts are futile. The more you spin, the deeper you are burying yourself.

I do not want my efforts done in vain. I am going to get some traction, by thinking positive thoughts with renewed energy.

Philippians 4:8-9 ESV

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Happy New Year 2023 Here We Are!

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Hey, Y’all!

Here we are in 2023, Happy New Year!

There is a lot of work and happiness to fulfill this year. I am hoping to improve on consistency going by today’s routine. I got up super early, but my default mode went into action. It has taken me hours to not get far on my daily list. However, I did some rearranging that was not part of the plan for today.

A friend and I are implementing The Five-Second Rule Mel Robbins coined. I mentioned it previously when I took the workshop Mel Robbins freely shared back in the spring. The Spring Reset course. At present, we have a whole year to reset!

My plan of action is the following:

  1. 5-4-3-2-1- Get-up
  2. 5-4-3-2-1- brush teeth/mouthwash
  3. 5-4-3-2-1-walk
  4. 5-4-3-2-1- drink water and so on

The other part of my plan is to high-five myself in the bathroom mirror saying my full name. Saying I love you to myself and telling myself, “You are going to do great today!” This is called “The High-Five Habit,” Mel Robbins also coined this.

While I want to push myself to do better, I realize the risk of me wanting to do it perfectly. The reality is that I am not going to do anything perfectly. Therefore, I need to recognize the need to talk to myself more gently than I have in the past and treat myself more gently.

I want real change in my life. It is so easy to slip back into default mode screaming at myself for failing, and about plans that are not cooperating.

I can do better. Today I am resisting the urge to scream at myself for not living up to the expectations of my plans set forth. I am still accomplishing things off my list and even writing this is part of what I planned on. I just hoped that I was more successful today. The important thing is to not give up.

I have been told it takes twenty-eight days to make a habit and an additional forty-plus days, to make a habit stick.

I want to live the best version of myself possible. It will take hard work and determination and doing the same thing over and over. This is how it went in my default mode. I will do better! Today is not a total failure.

Celebrating the smallest of victories helps in being supportive of myself. Celebrating in definition along these lines is, being proud of myself that I have made accomplishments today.

Today is a gift for each of us to be alive, breathing, and taking of ourselves.

As I get ready to close out this entry, my time in prayer and meditation is vital. Without that time, I am just spinning my wheels. It does take determination and consistency, to have that conscious contact with God as I understand Him.

Having that conscious contact with God is what gives me my thankfulness, hope, desire to do better, and willingness.

Let us be kind to ourselves and each other.

Psalm 84:12 ESV “O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!”

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

The Countdown Begins Happy New Year’s Eve!

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Hey, Y’all!

I am hoping to get this blog post entry on time.

Today has been a day of action. I am still in the process of finishing all the tasks, I had hoped to finish.

I refuse to let myself off the hook for finishing the task as they are reasonable to have finished by the end of the day. The only exception would be putting together the stand. That is only because it involves assembly with screws, bolts, and shelves that are awkward to manage. Even so, I do believe I can manage it.

Aside from the tasks, tonight is a night for me to be thankful for the things I have gone through on my journey in the past year. I also want to pray and meditate for the next year coming up. I need God’s help to stay committed to being consistent in the next year.

I believe the next year will surely have challenges. But we cannot cry and shy away from takings the risks necessary because it is difficult.

On a side note, I may not finish this entry in time for WordPress to count this as part of today. However, I hope the relevance of the message is more important.

As I look to find better ways along my journey, I hope to extend my life by being more initiative-taking with my health. I want to be more loving to myself. I want to show myself more grace while still pushing forward. I am harder on myself than anyone and judgmental of my failings.

I do love the current changes I have made and hope to correct the wrongs I have made along the way.

I love my therapist in the way of a brother that has some insight and is not judgmental. He is supportive regardless of if I am supportive of myself in a few or many single sessions, or not. That is another point in my journey, I do want to do better and be present for myself.

So yes, the upcoming year is a chance for a huge reset and to do the things that help me thrive physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I hope in the next year to embrace the Nature God Created, hug a tree, feel the grass beneath my feet, in walking to see the beautiful colors, and soar high with eagles in meditation and prayer.

There is beauty in this life that gets bypassed in the business of the day.

I hope to even get back to my spiritual journaling and write a lot like what has been attributed to David the Psalmist. I did write a lot like that at one time and made me feel much closer to God. I need that, to be fresh and free spiritually.

I am not sure many can relate but it is more of a thing of being more in my spirit, poured out first, to God. It is okay if you do not understand it. What is important is that I do and that I take that action.

I do not know how to fit it all in daily, but the timing will come, as does this New Year!

Thanks for reading!

Happy New Year’s Eve, Y’all!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!