hope

I Am Determined To Be Back On Top

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Photo by Cody King on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am determined to get back on top of everything. In my last blog post, I mentioned that I must roll with the changes, or at least, it was implied if I did not specifically say it outright. Little did I know that changes would follow the very next day. My home health aide quit unexpectedly. It was for the best.

It was a substantial change because I was doing my best to accept and accommodate her needs besides expressing my own. I wished her well and nothing but goodness in her future adventures. I am also relieved. This may be the first time I ever accepted a change in the right way.

On Monday afternoon, a new helper will be introduced to me as well as a new assistant office manager for the agency that helps me with my home health needs. I am looking forward to meeting the new people. I am hoping this change helps benefit the changes that I need to take responsibility for in my own life.

My writing is important to me, but I have just been drifting and staying in a depressed state these past few months. With each setback in gaining a total of four wounds, I have accepted them. However, I cannot deny they have affected my emotional well-being.

It affects my well-being because new wounds make me feel I am losing a battle for healing. What caused the new wounds was fluid build-up, as well as tunneling that happens from wounds, already present traveling to present dead skin. This is over ten years’ worth of decay.

This is now taking debridement as well as soaking and dressing in compression wraps to treat the wounds. The good news is as the wounds form, we are aggressively treating the wounds, so they are short-lived.

Today, I woke up at 4:17 am and enjoyed a continental breakfast at home. Getting up early has allowed me to have more personal time, as the new helper has a different schedule. I am grateful for the change, as the previous schedule was exhausting. I am hoping this will now be a routine.

The previous schedule took away my time with friends as well as diminishing both my afternoon and evening time.

I feel hopeful right now. I am now ready for a new day!

The changes I am making begin with taking responsibility just for myself. I am also hoping for better communication and to start addressing any problems as soon as they crop up and not let anything fester into resentments. I also know that not everything will always go my way. This is where acceptance enters the picture.

However, reasonable requests for cleaning, preparing meals, and errands that are nearby should not be a problem. I also can let go of taking responsibility for receipts and turning in expense reports to the office. This will take the stress off of me.

Being prepared by having daily tasks posted for my helper to do will go a long way with communication and also meet my needs. I will also have a written outline of my expectations for Monday. This is taking responsibility for communicating and advocating for my personal care needs.

This is the difference between being assertive and passive. Meaning what I say, and not saying it mean. This is not negotiating or asking questions, rather I am stating my needs so they can be met properly.

Having all of this in place will help me move forward with my emotional and spiritual growth. Having a new helper will also take time for me to be off my feet and allow physical healing. This will enable me to comply with my medical team. It is also within the bounds of being compliant with the home health agency.

In the past, I have vocally been aggressive and or passive rather than assertive. Being passive or aggressive does not accomplish anything. It escalates resentments already present. Being assertive promotes clear communication and squashes any resentment.

My hope in accomplishing all of this will stop other things, other people, and myself from wasting my time. This in turn will help me write more consistently.

I am ready for a positive outlook now and climb out of the mud and mire. I am grateful for all of you reading this and for all of those in my tribe. It is time to press forward now.

Philippians 3:12-14 (ESV)

“12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

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May 2016

Hey Y’all!

I am back!

Right before Christmas, I was in ICU for a day and I was moved to a regular room for another several days. I remained ill for some time and the rest has been trying to get back to life.

I am very blessed to have people praying, calling, and answering when I call as well. I also received a few cards for which I am grateful and over three months late in thanking people for them.

I struggle with trying to find a normal routine.

Tonight, something happened to help me find my happy place in writing again. A teenage Boy Scout interviewed me! His dad, who is a friend of mine, was present. But it was in his dad’s prompting and his asking me questions that I realized I want to organize my thoughts better and be more dedicated to the things I love which also enrich my spirituality.

The funny part in all of this is they were coming after a scout meeting to give jump the battery of a car I am driving at present. But they more than helped me. I hope that I was of help to them also.

I had every intention of going to bed early, but I became excited enough to write.

Everything that I love points back to God. It is because of God that I am reminded of everything I love that feeds the soul and connection between others, me, and God. I am here because of God and others are around because of God and connecting with my soul seeing me when I do not.

Sometimes chance meetings or interviews are just divine appointments reminding us that we are genuine and that we have a message to share. The most important message sometimes that we have to share comes from deep within our souls that we also need to hear.

What I heard from my friend sharing with his son about my story in that little bit of time reminds me more, we are walking each other home. It feeds my soul. We feed each other.

The boy inside of me needs to hear the message inside of me in my soul. If you catch me most days, I deny how I love people; but I am wrong. I love people! I want to know, share, and exchange with others our stories.

I say I hate people in a way to deflect because of the hurt I have caused and the hurt I felt. I say it sometimes to think that I am being funny. What I truly hate is the fact that each of us can hurt each other. It is painful and cuts us deeply with just a careless word.

Now there is another point here, and that is knowing when you must stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be steam-rolled. Sometimes that includes a real fight and war. It means defending yourself and what is yours.

Is that not always the question, where is the balance? We find balance in the true message. Let’s keep seeking, walking, helping, loving, hoping, and praying.

It is good to be back, I love y’all!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

If Forgiveness Was Easy Would It Be Forgiving?

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Remembering my plants 2023

Hey, Y’All,

It has been a while since my last blog post entry. It seems I say that starting every entry.

Going through my journey has taught me a lot of life lessons. Some of those lessons I keep repeating. Some lessons I cannot seem to grasp. It is very similar to banging my head against the wall.

Before I share my experience lesson with forgiveness, I want to share I did celebrate 19 years of sobriety and clean time. You see this time is not possible without the work put into it. It is done because people have helped place tools before me and their help in guiding me.

Forgiveness comes down to letting go of my thoughts and realigning them with harmony in this life. It takes prayer and asking forgiveness for myself. Even in what I imagine as harm to myself I can cause harm to others. In most cases, I have done just that.

I must realize once more that I am powerless over people, places, and things. My dependence upon God in this lesson is vital yet, I feel far away. I am asking for his help and again letting go of the rock that will for sure drown me.

Forgiveness is akin to going through grief to process everything.

This weekend may not be the healthiest I have been coping with the sadness by eating comfort foods and being thankful for the same plants that were destroyed through what I perceived as harmful to me.

Someone else gave them to give me happiness and hope. I went through anger and perhaps some anger is still left. I am mostly sad and feel bad that I allowed it to make me angry. Then I cried and felt bad that perhaps I even appeared ungrateful for the original gift. I am grateful I was given the chance to grow something living.

My tomatoes were just beginning to grow, and the peppers were just multiplying. To have it all stopped by things beyond my control was heartbreaking!

All of life and living things and beings are a gift. How blessed we are to experience life in different ways.

Just like anything else you work for and work through, forgiveness means freedom.

Forgiveness has become another lesson in freedom and once more doing the next right thing. It is important to be the best version of me I can be.

The best version of me means being good to others and myself. It means taking care of myself and doing what is necessary to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Forgiveness means I am not blocking any healing.

Change is uncomfortable but necessary. I must do whatever is necessary to make it through this situation at hand. Including finding a healthy closure so it can be put to rest. It will take physical work to make the symbolic pieces laid to rest. I want peace more than being right. I must remind myself of how often I have been forgiven.

This has been one of the hardest lessons to walk through.

Colossians 3:13 (ESV)

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All, Everybody!

I’ll Fly Away Left Me Bawling When Least Expected

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments
Photo by Rahul Pandit on Pexels.com

I had to edit enough to get it all on the page…

Hey, Y’all!

My Grandma met Jesus face-to-face at 4:15 p.m. Saturday. I thought I was done crying earlier in the week. I guess I am not!

I was not there physically with her but as my mama relayed what had all happened, I was there in spirit. You see I imagined my Grampa, dad, and two uncles in a boat. As I saw it, they were fishing and probably a friendly debate.

I figured they were going to meet her, and I was sure they were dilly-dallying. But as information came across to me, she was the one keeping them waiting. Then I remembered the many times leaving after service waving at Grandpa as he sat in the car waiting for Grandma.

It all finally makes sense. I am not here to tell you information second-hand. It is just not my story to tell.

I loved my grandma a lot. I wish I had shown her more love, as I wish I had shown a lot of my family more love when I had that chance.

I think I cry more because I truly connect with my spirit in this weak body. Compared to my spirit my body is weak. I am not 98 but I am not 29 anymore as my grandma used to say after whatever birthday it was.

My grandma did whatever it took to love. She prayed with anyone for anyone, she cleaned, she taught, she sang, she cooked, she babysat, she set rules, and she had fun. She helped in whatever way she could. She never left my grandpa to go without doing these things. She lived!

I thought I was done crying. I prepared to go to bed and got in bed listening to a pastor on a podcast. I then listened to some hymns to lull me to sleep. Then it happened! I’ll fly away played and I was imagining Grandma set free over and over.

The next thing I knew I was bawling. She was a true gift to me.

You bet I have never valued the people I love enough in their lifetime or mine.

Several are gone now! I am doing what I can to keep changing that. I can be sad and realize I am just going to cry when I need to cry. The world is not going to fall apart because I cry.

However, I have the hope of seeing her on the other side and many other loved ones and the stories we will share. It is because of Christ in me The Hope of Glory.

I will never be rested enough on this earth.  I only hope to have a pinky tip full of hope faith and love that woman showed to everyone. Grace and mercy.Again, I am reminded of,

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12(ESV)

9 Now concerning vbrotherly love wyou have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been xtaught by God yto love one another, 

10 for that indeed is what zyou are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you,

 brothers, to ado this more and more, 

11 and to aspire bto live quietly, and cto mind your own affairs, and dto work with your hands, as we 

instructed you, 

12 so that you may ewalk properly before foutsiders and be dependent on no one.

This is how my grandma lived. This is how my grandma and grandpa lived together. My grandpa himself did not have a lot to say. When he had something to say, he said it.

I hope to continually stay busy and mind my own business.

I will always love my grandma!

I’ll Fly Away

“I’ll Fly Away”, is a hymn written in 1929 by Albert E. Brumley

1. 
Some glad morning when this life is o’er, 
I’ll fly away; 
To a home on God’s celestial shore, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away). 

Chorus 
I’ll fly away, Oh Glory 
I’ll fly away; (in the morning) 
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away). 

2. 
When the shadows of this life have gone, 
I’ll fly away; 
Like a bird from prison bars has flown, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away) 

Chorus 

3. 
Just a few more weary days and then, 
I’ll fly away; 
To a land where joy shall never end, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away)

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Letting Go Of What Weighs You Down

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My Plants June 2023

Hey, Y’all!

Today I want to share about how we can create the life we want to live. If we want something, we must work for it. We must let go of negative thoughts that weigh us down so that we can build meaningful lives. We build a bedrock for us to live life on purpose.

We begin by choosing what we want, instead of drifting along hoping something good falls in our laps.

I am taking stock of my own life as I write this blog post entry.

Stopping the behaviors that no longer serve us frees us that much more. Letting go of resentments and bitterness. Yes, even jealousy and envy of others who have made their lives doing exactly what they want. Instead of being jealous, we can see them shining a light on our pathway instead.

We can make our dreams a reality if we do the work needed.

We take the necessary actions regardless of how we feel. Our feelings and moods cannot make our dreams come true. Being honest with ourselves about our feelings, moods, and resentments is the practice of self-awareness.

If we write it all out and make a conscious choice, to let go and forgive what has been done to us. Admit what we have done to others and ask for forgiveness. None of us are innocent by word, thought, and deed.

We get out of all the negative and start working on the positive such as having something we can be grateful for.

Exercise is also important no matter how much we get our body moving and stop being a lump in our bed.

No matter where we are presently, we can say to ourselves, “Things will not always be this way.” I can tell you my life has gotten different since learning to say this and learning to take direction from others.

The next thing I am presently learning along with placing boundaries for self-preservation is, “Happy people do things that make them happy.”

I want to be happy and dream big without letting life just slide past me.

Doing the smallest thing to make ourselves feel better. Making our lives simpler is also key. Getting rid of the clutter in our minds and home helps us be able to build brick by brick.

Sister Theresa first said, “Do it anyway.”

A lot of us have had lives built on fear, at least previously. Broken, messy, stuck, and alone.

It is by acting on changing our lives just even by changing our thoughts to positive thoughts and to be encouraging to others and ourselves. I desire to live a real and happy life.

In the picture above are my two plants, the one on the left is a Mammoth Jalapeno Pepper Plant, and the one on the right is a Beef Steak Tomato Plant. A friend started these for me. It is now my job to enjoy these plants and help them grow by nurturing them and watering them.

They are thriving. And so it is with my own life, my job to grow and nurture the good life within me so I can thrive.

I can be the future me by doing simple things.

10 Reasons why I want this for me:

  1. I want to be happy.
  2. I desire a change for more positivity.
  3. I love me.
  4. I want to light the path for others as we walk each other home.
  5. I want a legacy.
  6. It is worth it. Because I am worth it.
  7. Proof that change is possible.
  8. I want to grow and thrive by the choices I make.
  9. I do not want to be stuck.
  10. I believe God will help me do better.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Repeating Some Of The Same Things Over Again

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Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

It is good to be writing once more.

I have been awake since 3:03 a.m. I fell asleep praying to God. It did take a while to fall asleep, but I felt defeated.

I am having my coffee and trying to write something of a positive nature in the negative I feel inside myself. It is like that moment when you go to pay for something, and your checking account reads insufficient funds. I did not know I would be in the negative when I woke up yesterday.

A string of the same emotions as before in my life when everything looked negative. This is when I needed my people the most. However, in this round of events I am trying to show I do have more strength and courage than before. One friend told me he thought I could handle it.

I do believe I can handle it. My friend is such an important part of helping me recognize the tools I have to cope with life’s struggles. I think we sometimes repeat things because we are being tested on things we forgot or hid from ourselves conveniently. Sometimes the same arrow is thrown in our direction because it is time to battle.

As I write this, I am battling negative thoughts and fears. I am also recognizing the things I have been learning are leading up to this moment in time. The way I am taking control is not falling apart due to fear. Is it not interesting I have been on this course of taking control? Maybe I need to hear someone’s woes besides my own.

I am still kind of in limbo about everything and waiting to hear what is going to exactly happen. I am preparing myself for events to come. Even though some news has been disclosed; I am not ready to disclose it to the whole world. I also want quiet the fears by not allowing them power over me.

The mind runs rampant while facts are yet to be fully seen. Self-examination is a must when preparing for battle. I must be prepared for the fact that things may not be comfortable and some decisions are mine to make while others are not mine to make. I am getting ready to do the best I can ever do in facing myself and other things. Those things are hopefully something that will not break me. As they say, more will be revealed.

I do want to live my best life ever. Some days are hard and I say to myself, “I did not know it was going to be this hard to live with some of the choices I made today and even previously.” All of our choices previous and present have led us to this moment in time. Whatever that looks like.

The two most important things I am still learning:

  • You are always one decision from a different life.
  • We are all walking each other home.

Life is still the sum of our choices however I do believe God can change things. I think sometimes we are forced into a waiting period so we can be humble and realize that we are just a small part of this world. This is true even when it seems big things are happening to us.

Better days are coming. More news to follow soon.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV)

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I am A Perfectionist While Exhausted And Overwhelmed

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Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I want to share something with you all, that maybe you can identify with.

I am a perfectionist in at least planning. The execution of a task can be somewhat of a letdown in the end especially if I am exhausted. I then end up redoing the task and reordering the steps in how it is completed until it is perfect in my eyes.

I get distressed and procrastinate until I am groggy and just avoid a project altogether. This is often true even in my writing and blog post entries. I then busy myself and allow myself on autopilot while allowing depression to run rampant. It becomes a new vicious cycle.

I then worry because I have avoided and procrastinated by trying to plan the perfect execution. I become overwhelmed and sad. When I am finally fed up and decide to just do the action needed, I find the original task has now snowballed and becomes an impossible elephant to remove from the room.

The next thing I know, nothing ever gets done!

Have you ever been here? Can you relate to this? Do you have unrealistic expectations? What about when others come into help, do you have unrealistic expectations of them?

I know I do. I can see it more clearly now.

I believe that this has been pointed out to me my whole life!

However, you never hear until you hear. This kind of thing came up in the training program that I am currently finishing up. One more thing I have procrastinated on. However, it was not clearly defined for me to see crystal clear until my men’s group message for this week.

If you read the previous blog post entry I shared the phrase about being only one decision away from a different life. Make no mistake, it is still a process. I say this as I am presently writing in the wee hours of the morning once more.

I must take responsibility for my decisions. What does this mean?

It means later today if I feel crabby, I must realize I am tired because I chose to be up in the wee hours. I chose to be up earlier on Tuesday when I became too tired and was filled with worry and anxiety. A byproduct of my overthinking.

Choices become one bad choice after another, thinking I will catch up. It is a vicious cycle at work within me. It now sends my head spinning and doing the same thing over expecting different results. Insanity is what it is.

What must I do?

Stop!

Stop the insanity! This is where my men’s group came to the rescue in the message given.

Philippians 4:6 (ESV) 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

  1. Stop Worrying!
  2. Pray and ask for help (guidance, peace, direction, and clarity).
  3.  We take action by prioritizing the first 3 things and doing them. It does not take overthinking. Overthinking only leads to destruction and straying stuck.
  4. Repeat the previous steps
  5. You can only do what you can in a day.
  6. Thank God for what you have completed and do these steps the following day with gratitude, prayer, and exercise. You will find (as I am told) a successful day.

I do not know about you. I am tired of finding myself stuck and spinning in my day.

I hope this encourages and gives you as much hope as I feel at this moment.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

.

Happy New Year 2023 Here We Are!

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

Here we are in 2023, Happy New Year!

There is a lot of work and happiness to fulfill this year. I am hoping to improve on consistency going by today’s routine. I got up super early, but my default mode went into action. It has taken me hours to not get far on my daily list. However, I did some rearranging that was not part of the plan for today.

A friend and I are implementing The Five-Second Rule Mel Robbins coined. I mentioned it previously when I took the workshop Mel Robbins freely shared back in the spring. The Spring Reset course. At present, we have a whole year to reset!

My plan of action is the following:

  1. 5-4-3-2-1- Get-up
  2. 5-4-3-2-1- brush teeth/mouthwash
  3. 5-4-3-2-1-walk
  4. 5-4-3-2-1- drink water and so on

The other part of my plan is to high-five myself in the bathroom mirror saying my full name. Saying I love you to myself and telling myself, “You are going to do great today!” This is called “The High-Five Habit,” Mel Robbins also coined this.

While I want to push myself to do better, I realize the risk of me wanting to do it perfectly. The reality is that I am not going to do anything perfectly. Therefore, I need to recognize the need to talk to myself more gently than I have in the past and treat myself more gently.

I want real change in my life. It is so easy to slip back into default mode screaming at myself for failing, and about plans that are not cooperating.

I can do better. Today I am resisting the urge to scream at myself for not living up to the expectations of my plans set forth. I am still accomplishing things off my list and even writing this is part of what I planned on. I just hoped that I was more successful today. The important thing is to not give up.

I have been told it takes twenty-eight days to make a habit and an additional forty-plus days, to make a habit stick.

I want to live the best version of myself possible. It will take hard work and determination and doing the same thing over and over. This is how it went in my default mode. I will do better! Today is not a total failure.

Celebrating the smallest of victories helps in being supportive of myself. Celebrating in definition along these lines is, being proud of myself that I have made accomplishments today.

Today is a gift for each of us to be alive, breathing, and taking of ourselves.

As I get ready to close out this entry, my time in prayer and meditation is vital. Without that time, I am just spinning my wheels. It does take determination and consistency, to have that conscious contact with God as I understand Him.

Having that conscious contact with God is what gives me my thankfulness, hope, desire to do better, and willingness.

Let us be kind to ourselves and each other.

Psalm 84:12 ESV “O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!”

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I am Starting With Thankfulness With Another Self-Talk

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
The Bluffs 2016

Hey, Y’all!

I am here and ready to share my thankfulness and another conversation in my head.

  1. I am thankful for early morning calls.
  2. I am thankful for the moments of silence and prayer with my coffee.
  3. I am thankful for the challenges to help me see when things can go right. Going right does not mean it always goes my way. Going right means it is good and often it is way better than my plans.
  4. I am thankful when I feel like crap, I can choose to make it better by choosing to be more positive. It takes just doing one thing at a time and remembering to encourage others!
  5. I am thankful my alone time is more solitude and a chance to claim sanity.
  6. I am thankful I am not the same person as six months ago.
  7. I am thankful for not having to wrestle with my honesty and sanity like I once did.

Today, I can see more choices set before me. I am thankful I get to participate in my own life instead of waiting for things to happen. There are things and people that are important to me. I am important to me today.

I can care for those close to me and listen to others. I pass on to others what I have. I get up when I fall. I know when to ask for help more so than I used to. I can follow directions. Sometimes in life, we must back and reread the directions.

I am thankful for the people in my life not giving up on me.

I am thankful for my recovery and spirituality. When a day comes along and not always feeling it, I can take a longer pause, say a prayer, and change my view.

You are going to do better because you want better. You are better.

You finally dropped the rock to grab the life preserver. You are well into the continuous journey of making wrongs right. You are having regular conscious contact with God seeking through meditation. You are going through and admitting when you are wrong more quickly and seeking to make things right where wrong has taken place.

You pass on your experience, strength, and hope and do your best to not claim anything you do not have. You have more clarity as the journey contuses.

You have hope today that you have never had before. It is never just enough because we learn until our last breath. We learn as we change. We change as we take necessary action.

The strength and bonds you have with people are much stronger. You hold life closer and try to not take for granted the time we have left on this earth.

Failure is never final if we get up. Our past does not have to dictate the future.

Hold on to thankfulness, hope, peace, and love. One more day of packing into the stream of life and not just taking from it.

This is how we live.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I Have Updated The Links Page and Sharing Life

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am pleased to announce I have fully updated the cooking shows and other favorite links page to this point.

I hope to add in my planting of a few plants. I am limited in living space being in a one-bedroom apartment with a small square of a patio. It is still my refuge and where I can have my sanctuary of peace. I am very grateful for it.

I do want to share more of my life and the favorite things I like to do. I also want to dabble in new things and share those along the way as well.

To have a quality of life means living and doing things as well. It takes action. Doing things even when you know might fail.

I would rather have the enjoyment of at least trying something than not ever knowing if I could do anything. I am like a lot of people sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. When that happens I know it is time to regroup and start smaller.

Changes and cycles are all a part of life’s way.

I want so much more out of life in doing and being. While this is one page I have updated it is just part of my favorite things. If all I did was watch cooking shows and never try a recipe well then it is kind of pointless. Though my meals may not always have the desired appeal to them, the fact I try at all and come out with a result makes me happy.

I am having to reuse a lot of pictures as far as my pictures because I am running out of them to share.

I hope to take more pictures and do more things. I want to make more memories. Especially as a single in this life, it is important to me to document more and make my mark in this life.

Last year I am not sure I was hanging on to a string of hope. This year is different. It has been a year of healing and hope combined. I am learning more to self-sustain but even more so develop spiritually more in faith.

While I hope for many more years to come at the end of my life I do want to be able to say it has been a fun, wild, ride, I hope to make a difference even if it is only in one person’s life. I hope I see the 80s and 90s of old age and do everything people said I could not do. I want to do the things that I say I never could do!

A year ago, I truly believed in my heart I was having to try and figure out how to leave this world peacefully and with as much grace as possible being angry still.

But it was prayers of faith good thoughts, goodwill, and hope. I am never going to stop trying to take greater care of my precious life. I may give in to a few things. But I will continue the journey to the end.

I do find one thing no matter what to be grateful for each day!

Joy comes in the morning!

Thanks for reading!

This has been a blog post entry update by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless, Y’all Everybody!