help

I’ll Fly Away Left Me Bawling When Least Expected

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments
Photo by Rahul Pandit on Pexels.com

I had to edit enough to get it all on the page…

Hey, Y’all!

My Grandma met Jesus face-to-face at 4:15 p.m. Saturday. I thought I was done crying earlier in the week. I guess I am not!

I was not there physically with her but as my mama relayed what had all happened, I was there in spirit. You see I imagined my Grampa, dad, and two uncles in a boat. As I saw it, they were fishing and probably a friendly debate.

I figured they were going to meet her, and I was sure they were dilly-dallying. But as information came across to me, she was the one keeping them waiting. Then I remembered the many times leaving after service waving at Grandpa as he sat in the car waiting for Grandma.

It all finally makes sense. I am not here to tell you information second-hand. It is just not my story to tell.

I loved my grandma a lot. I wish I had shown her more love, as I wish I had shown a lot of my family more love when I had that chance.

I think I cry more because I truly connect with my spirit in this weak body. Compared to my spirit my body is weak. I am not 98 but I am not 29 anymore as my grandma used to say after whatever birthday it was.

My grandma did whatever it took to love. She prayed with anyone for anyone, she cleaned, she taught, she sang, she cooked, she babysat, she set rules, and she had fun. She helped in whatever way she could. She never left my grandpa to go without doing these things. She lived!

I thought I was done crying. I prepared to go to bed and got in bed listening to a pastor on a podcast. I then listened to some hymns to lull me to sleep. Then it happened! I’ll fly away played and I was imagining Grandma set free over and over.

The next thing I knew I was bawling. She was a true gift to me.

You bet I have never valued the people I love enough in their lifetime or mine.

Several are gone now! I am doing what I can to keep changing that. I can be sad and realize I am just going to cry when I need to cry. The world is not going to fall apart because I cry.

However, I have the hope of seeing her on the other side and many other loved ones and the stories we will share. It is because of Christ in me The Hope of Glory.

I will never be rested enough on this earth.  I only hope to have a pinky tip full of hope faith and love that woman showed to everyone. Grace and mercy.Again, I am reminded of,

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12(ESV)

9 Now concerning vbrotherly love wyou have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been xtaught by God yto love one another, 

10 for that indeed is what zyou are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you,

 brothers, to ado this more and more, 

11 and to aspire bto live quietly, and cto mind your own affairs, and dto work with your hands, as we 

instructed you, 

12 so that you may ewalk properly before foutsiders and be dependent on no one.

This is how my grandma lived. This is how my grandma and grandpa lived together. My grandpa himself did not have a lot to say. When he had something to say, he said it.

I hope to continually stay busy and mind my own business.

I will always love my grandma!

I’ll Fly Away

“I’ll Fly Away”, is a hymn written in 1929 by Albert E. Brumley

1. 
Some glad morning when this life is o’er, 
I’ll fly away; 
To a home on God’s celestial shore, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away). 

Chorus 
I’ll fly away, Oh Glory 
I’ll fly away; (in the morning) 
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away). 

2. 
When the shadows of this life have gone, 
I’ll fly away; 
Like a bird from prison bars has flown, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away) 

Chorus 

3. 
Just a few more weary days and then, 
I’ll fly away; 
To a land where joy shall never end, 
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away)

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Numerous Anniversaries Some Sweet Some Not So Sweet

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

Angel On My Patio 2022

Hey, Y’all!

This blog post entry, I started earlier this month. I am going to bring it up to date because I cannot let it go unfinished. I am still editing this blog post entry as late as a day before this month’s last day.

While celebrations are usually defined as happy occasions, some are bitter-sweet. Some anniversaries are just sad. The latest mark on the calendar is one that is bitter-sweet.

I have felt a whole gamut of emotions. My life is both different and the same. I named the weekend of July 4th, as my Independence Day a couple of years ago. I was released from a skilled- rehabilitation unit.

I have signed 8 leases in total, since moving to these apartments. I moved once as a condition of my being released from the rehabilitation unit, securing a street-level apartment. I have made it my home.

My life got better, it got worse, and now it is better again.

However, it is spiritual and takes believing God exists especially when things are beyond our control. We scream out in fear, wanting control. The heart pounds heavy. The tears seem endless. The realization comes to us that we are dependent upon prayers and faith.

This is not unlike my last post that it takes friends, family, God, hope, love, faith, prayers, meditation, forgiveness, and letting go. It all works together with balance and checks.

Real recovery is taking steps to be freed from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It does not happen without a spiritual experience.

For me, the spiritual part only began after finding gratitude. Without gratitude, we have no hope.

One thing is for sure, as my grandma would say, “The sun will rise again in the morning.” My grandma said this was hope, and that we always have hope because Jesus lives in our hearts.

One more important thing my grandma said was when I was mad that it was okay, I was mad. “You will get glad in the same pants you got mad in.” I did not always listen to my grandma especially when she told me I needed to make things right. She was usually referring to making things right with my dad.

It would take a long time to follow that advice. Eventually, grace and mercy would come into the picture to change things. I take that back. Grace and mercy have always been in the picture, rather it has taken a bit for it to be acknowledged by changing and making things right.

Some things I have not been able to make right. Thank goodness for forgiveness.

While I needed forgiveness it has been just as important, I forgive as well to let go of that which holds me back and it is the only way to heal. If something pops up to drudge up old feelings, I must repeat the process. To forgive is a most holy moment of setting me free.

I need reminders often that always it is my job to forgive now since much has been forgiven of me. Unforgiveness makes me stay sick and stuck.

I must remember this with all people. All means all.

A calendar of anniversaries has taught me a lot about life. Every day you must be thankful for the experience.

Today as I close, I will miss my grandma forever on this side of Heaven. But I have the hope of seeing her again on the other side.

Romans 14:8 (ESV)

8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Teach Your Children And Live Quiet Lives

/ boxcarmike / 1 Comment

My Jalapeno Plant And Tomato Plant July 2023.

Hey, Y’all!

When I am up late writing it is not usually planned. I had no idea I was staying up as I needed to take some medicine. Who knew?

I love music! I grew up listening to different genres of music. If there was a song for tonight’s writing; it would be, “Teach Your Children” written by Graham Nash of the band, “Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.”

You can explore more on your own about how it originated and all who have played it since.

My point in bringing up the song is my parents even liked the song and believe it had some truths to hear in it. Parents, please check the lyrics for age- appropriateness.

I digress, there are so many lessons along life’s highway. There are going to be choices made on both sides of parents and children. Individual choices will eventually be made that you cannot turn back from. Can choices and routes be forgiven? Yes, of course, they can!

Sometimes choices cannot be undone. It follows your whole life until you learn to live differently. Some things cannot be undone. It is a fact. They can be healed though. It takes nearly the rest of your life to try to undo the damage.

There is no magic wand effect that you can just say presto, good as new!

Relationships of any kind take love, belief, hard work, trust, and vulnerability. Sometimes it is working through heartbreaking moments that are so painful. It is you did not realize some of the cards you played in the past, are not dead.

Somehow you must put your foot down in the middle of that old card game and say, “Game over!” This is when it gets real, and I had no idea all this was going to come from listening to a message very short but powerful message! So powerful in fact, I wrote a short note because it moved me and made an impact on me. And another part is it was a friend who gave that message. Again, I will get to the point.

So, there is this song, a message, my parents, and the whole family are in the mix. Let us not forget, I am also sharing my lessons in my recovery! Not just recovery, but wow believing! Believing God can change me, and He is.

I thought maybe this one family member would be the glue like that super glue they use on some deep cuts and just help smooth things over. Guess what? IT IS NOT THEIR JOB! They cannot be the glue to make it where everything is happy again and nothing is wrong.

I cannot fix what I did in making choices, but I can stop the old game from being played, by cards I chose in the past.

My friend chose this passage for his message, it rang a bell in my recovery and more! I am starting two verses above maybe, I could be wrong, let me be wrong. It is okay if I am wrong today.

1Thessalonians 4:9-12 (ESV)

9Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, 10for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, 11and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, 12so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

Verse 11 is the killer awesome live quietly and mind your own business, to work with your hands as we instructed you,

I need instructions for living today! I cannot do this alone that’s why I need God. On my own, I foul up every day!

My point in getting here finally is this, my dad gave me a warning. One day you are going to be sorry. There are choices you make now; you cannot change later. You will not be able to fix it. I will probably not be here to fix it. Those were some words I kept hearing even in my drunk years.

 Oh, he will probably outlive me was my thought. The words are here, man! My dad is not here. He could not be Superman!

Get it across to anyone you know some choices cannot be undone. Parents teach children!

Make all things as right as you can and leave the rest up to God.

I am passionate about this because it is life and death! It can get lonely; do what is right anyway. Some may catch up; others are waiting for you.

Hang on to your… well, hat?

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

.

I Have Fought My Unbelief To Believe Him

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

July 1st, 2023 Elephant Rocks State Park Belleview Missouri

Hey Y’all!

It has been a while since I have been active in blogging. I have been fighting infections with the help of doctors, nurse practitioner, and nurses. My driver has also been instrumental in helping me as well. My mama, grandma, and lots of people have been praying as well. I have learned a lot about myself and my faith in these recent events.

Following directions, having faith, and doing the best I can to be compliant is important during these times especially when seeking healing. I think of the following scripture: Mark 9;24 ESV 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” I have found it important for me to listen to faith-filled podcasts with scriptures speaking about faith and healing. During my first full night of praying and listening I felt a physical change happen as I asked for healing. I was in fear of facing amputation and it did so happen that amputation thus far has been avoided.

It has been challenging to check my attitude at the door. It is important even more so to forgive others and let go of resentments. It can be a battle of my will against faith and belief in healing. Anger can turn toxic and cause me harm. It works against healing. It is a scientific fact that anger and resentment are poison to us. I find myself talking to myself saying let it go. It feels like I am saying let it go constantly and I am resentful for the fact that I am the one having to let it go all the time.

However, I am also the one asking for forgiveness all the time as well. Change is constant for me to grow. Here is the other part. There is a scripture that states the following: James 4:1-3 ESV.

4 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions[a] are at war within you?[b] 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

Some translations just say you have not because ask not, however, I love this translation because it gets to the root of mankind holding on always wanting more.

When I do my self-inventory, it does come down to at least thinking someone else has a bigger portion or a better portion. The reality is we do not know what someone else has had to walk through or go through to get their portion, who knows maybe that is their final portion upon this earth.

I still have a lot of steps to go through in this healing. Sometimes the healing is already there, and it is about making the most of what we have and letting go of the toxicity.  This reveals the gift we already have. I want healing and a clean slate. I do not wish to hang on to anger and forgiveness.

The walk to healing means work but the healing itself is a gift.

This brings me to the point of gratitude.

I am convinced that being grateful is just as important as breathing. Without gratitude, we cease to exist. We have no faith without gratitude. We also have no faith without gratitude. Finding one thing to be grateful for grows our faith which is important in healing.

Perhaps at the end of the day, it comes down to letting go in general to finding we have had more all along.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Letting Go Of What Weighs You Down

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment

My Plants June 2023

Hey, Y’all!

Today I want to share about how we can create the life we want to live. If we want something, we must work for it. We must let go of negative thoughts that weigh us down so that we can build meaningful lives. We build a bedrock for us to live life on purpose.

We begin by choosing what we want, instead of drifting along hoping something good falls in our laps.

I am taking stock of my own life as I write this blog post entry.

Stopping the behaviors that no longer serve us frees us that much more. Letting go of resentments and bitterness. Yes, even jealousy and envy of others who have made their lives doing exactly what they want. Instead of being jealous, we can see them shining a light on our pathway instead.

We can make our dreams a reality if we do the work needed.

We take the necessary actions regardless of how we feel. Our feelings and moods cannot make our dreams come true. Being honest with ourselves about our feelings, moods, and resentments is the practice of self-awareness.

If we write it all out and make a conscious choice, to let go and forgive what has been done to us. Admit what we have done to others and ask for forgiveness. None of us are innocent by word, thought, and deed.

We get out of all the negative and start working on the positive such as having something we can be grateful for.

Exercise is also important no matter how much we get our body moving and stop being a lump in our bed.

No matter where we are presently, we can say to ourselves, “Things will not always be this way.” I can tell you my life has gotten different since learning to say this and learning to take direction from others.

The next thing I am presently learning along with placing boundaries for self-preservation is, “Happy people do things that make them happy.”

I want to be happy and dream big without letting life just slide past me.

Doing the smallest thing to make ourselves feel better. Making our lives simpler is also key. Getting rid of the clutter in our minds and home helps us be able to build brick by brick.

Sister Theresa first said, “Do it anyway.”

A lot of us have had lives built on fear, at least previously. Broken, messy, stuck, and alone.

It is by acting on changing our lives just even by changing our thoughts to positive thoughts and to be encouraging to others and ourselves. I desire to live a real and happy life.

In the picture above are my two plants, the one on the left is a Mammoth Jalapeno Pepper Plant, and the one on the right is a Beef Steak Tomato Plant. A friend started these for me. It is now my job to enjoy these plants and help them grow by nurturing them and watering them.

They are thriving. And so it is with my own life, my job to grow and nurture the good life within me so I can thrive.

I can be the future me by doing simple things.

10 Reasons why I want this for me:

  1. I want to be happy.
  2. I desire a change for more positivity.
  3. I love me.
  4. I want to light the path for others as we walk each other home.
  5. I want a legacy.
  6. It is worth it. Because I am worth it.
  7. Proof that change is possible.
  8. I want to grow and thrive by the choices I make.
  9. I do not want to be stuck.
  10. I believe God will help me do better.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (ESV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Relaxing After An Insane Spring Cleaning Purge

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Skyler Ewing on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

It is great to be writing to you all again. What I write is mostly about myself. I invite you along for the ride in hopes my experience may be of help in either doing or refraining from doing. I do not have a degree in any subject. All I have is my experience, strength, and hope.

I have stayed so busy purging and spring cleaning and doing what I could to pass an inspection of my place. I was living in fear of failing because of my standards and projecting them onto the task at hand. I passed the inspection with flying colors.

At the end of the day, I just crawled up in a ball on my bed and cried. I was busy living in fear over everything my health, my sanctuary, the rules where I live, and much more. I learned a lot about myself, and I am still learning more. There is so much more to me than my shell, thoughts, and feelings.

My spirit inside is trying to emerge while I take on battles. A lot of the battles I am fighting are of my own making. It is important to take responsibility for myself today. It is a never-ending battle when you believe and refuse to lay the battle down. It is because of allowing dark thoughts to come in and not taking those thoughts down instead.

You can fool yourself into thinking you are doing the work to care for yourself while you are just going through the motions. There is a tug-of-war that goes on when you are determined to get real. Every spear of darkness comes at you when you are ready for a breakthrough. It becomes a battlefield of the mind. I was foolish to let the thoughts come at me.

I realized the two strongest points for darkness to come at me are before I sleep and when I am still waking up for the day. As I cried the night after winning the passing inspection, I went to sleep off and on as I listened to a new podcast. I got good rest, but I needed more rest and still need more rest.

I am just now writing once more, as I struggle to finish this with the midnight oil on Friday at 11:30 pm.

The two points where I feel bombarded in my thoughts are when I am preparing for sleep and waking up for the day. I will tell you the reason I cried because it was a hard fight to finish the project cleaning and being ready for the inspection. I was fighting myself more than anyone because of the thoughts and wanting it to be perfect.

Now how is it to be ready for the arrows of darkness that come into my thoughts? It is the constant self-inventory making sure my side of the street is clean. Prayer and meditation. It is trying to stay in a place of gratitude and say the prayer of God help me! When negative emotions come in this prayer works when I mean it!

I am ready to move past my craziness of wanting perfection and relax some more.

I feel as though more breakthroughs are brewing. This is not just a one-time lesson or the only lesson. There is more coming soon.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

28 pCome to qme, all who labor and are rheavy laden, and I will give  you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and slearn from me, for I am       tgentle and lowly in heart, and uyou will find rest for your souls. 30      For vmy yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Repeating Some Of The Same Things Over Again

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

It is good to be writing once more.

I have been awake since 3:03 a.m. I fell asleep praying to God. It did take a while to fall asleep, but I felt defeated.

I am having my coffee and trying to write something of a positive nature in the negative I feel inside myself. It is like that moment when you go to pay for something, and your checking account reads insufficient funds. I did not know I would be in the negative when I woke up yesterday.

A string of the same emotions as before in my life when everything looked negative. This is when I needed my people the most. However, in this round of events I am trying to show I do have more strength and courage than before. One friend told me he thought I could handle it.

I do believe I can handle it. My friend is such an important part of helping me recognize the tools I have to cope with life’s struggles. I think we sometimes repeat things because we are being tested on things we forgot or hid from ourselves conveniently. Sometimes the same arrow is thrown in our direction because it is time to battle.

As I write this, I am battling negative thoughts and fears. I am also recognizing the things I have been learning are leading up to this moment in time. The way I am taking control is not falling apart due to fear. Is it not interesting I have been on this course of taking control? Maybe I need to hear someone’s woes besides my own.

I am still kind of in limbo about everything and waiting to hear what is going to exactly happen. I am preparing myself for events to come. Even though some news has been disclosed; I am not ready to disclose it to the whole world. I also want quiet the fears by not allowing them power over me.

The mind runs rampant while facts are yet to be fully seen. Self-examination is a must when preparing for battle. I must be prepared for the fact that things may not be comfortable and some decisions are mine to make while others are not mine to make. I am getting ready to do the best I can ever do in facing myself and other things. Those things are hopefully something that will not break me. As they say, more will be revealed.

I do want to live my best life ever. Some days are hard and I say to myself, “I did not know it was going to be this hard to live with some of the choices I made today and even previously.” All of our choices previous and present have led us to this moment in time. Whatever that looks like.

The two most important things I am still learning:

  • You are always one decision from a different life.
  • We are all walking each other home.

Life is still the sum of our choices however I do believe God can change things. I think sometimes we are forced into a waiting period so we can be humble and realize that we are just a small part of this world. This is true even when it seems big things are happening to us.

Better days are coming. More news to follow soon.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV)

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

I am A Perfectionist While Exhausted And Overwhelmed

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I want to share something with you all, that maybe you can identify with.

I am a perfectionist in at least planning. The execution of a task can be somewhat of a letdown in the end especially if I am exhausted. I then end up redoing the task and reordering the steps in how it is completed until it is perfect in my eyes.

I get distressed and procrastinate until I am groggy and just avoid a project altogether. This is often true even in my writing and blog post entries. I then busy myself and allow myself on autopilot while allowing depression to run rampant. It becomes a new vicious cycle.

I then worry because I have avoided and procrastinated by trying to plan the perfect execution. I become overwhelmed and sad. When I am finally fed up and decide to just do the action needed, I find the original task has now snowballed and becomes an impossible elephant to remove from the room.

The next thing I know, nothing ever gets done!

Have you ever been here? Can you relate to this? Do you have unrealistic expectations? What about when others come into help, do you have unrealistic expectations of them?

I know I do. I can see it more clearly now.

I believe that this has been pointed out to me my whole life!

However, you never hear until you hear. This kind of thing came up in the training program that I am currently finishing up. One more thing I have procrastinated on. However, it was not clearly defined for me to see crystal clear until my men’s group message for this week.

If you read the previous blog post entry I shared the phrase about being only one decision away from a different life. Make no mistake, it is still a process. I say this as I am presently writing in the wee hours of the morning once more.

I must take responsibility for my decisions. What does this mean?

It means later today if I feel crabby, I must realize I am tired because I chose to be up in the wee hours. I chose to be up earlier on Tuesday when I became too tired and was filled with worry and anxiety. A byproduct of my overthinking.

Choices become one bad choice after another, thinking I will catch up. It is a vicious cycle at work within me. It now sends my head spinning and doing the same thing over expecting different results. Insanity is what it is.

What must I do?

Stop!

Stop the insanity! This is where my men’s group came to the rescue in the message given.

Philippians 4:6 (ESV) 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

  1. Stop Worrying!
  2. Pray and ask for help (guidance, peace, direction, and clarity).
  3.  We take action by prioritizing the first 3 things and doing them. It does not take overthinking. Overthinking only leads to destruction and straying stuck.
  4. Repeat the previous steps
  5. You can only do what you can in a day.
  6. Thank God for what you have completed and do these steps the following day with gratitude, prayer, and exercise. You will find (as I am told) a successful day.

I do not know about you. I am tired of finding myself stuck and spinning in my day.

I hope this encourages and gives you as much hope as I feel at this moment.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

.

One Decision Away From A Different Life

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by emre keshavarz on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all

It has been a little bit again since I last posted anything.

We are now on May 1st, 2023. This means we have completed one quarter of the year 2023. The last four months are gone. We cannot get months, nor any day of those months back!

All we can do is start from where we are right here, and now.

I realized over the weekend I needed to restart once more. Here I am doing what I can to reframe how I hope to take more serious my writing, emotional, and physical well-being.

What if I told you each of us is just one decision away from a different life?

Thank goodness we have today to turn things around. It can only be today. The reason is, all we have is this twenty-four-hour period or what is left of it anyway. I have decided, I must follow through with consistency.

I must reframe how this is to be done by acting on my decision.

I have bombed out at being consistent since the beginning. I must accept the fact I have done the best I could in this last quarter. Today is the day to decide and do better.

I did not even realize until this moment that I cannot succeed at something unless I practice the art of mindful self-compassion.

One of the ways I do that is by giving myself the loving talk and positive reinforcement by saying to myself, “I love you and I am proud of you for showing up today.” I need to say this is my second time saying it to myself and meaning it.

The old me would say something along the lines of it being a bunch of horse hockey and that it will never work. Do not knock it until you try it.

Oh, how I would cringe before to have to say that to myself! You would have thought I was cussing myself out. I want this change badly and it is not for the faint-hearted.

It did take me practice. Today it took deciding that I want a different life. This is only the beginning of a different life. Reframing the way, I look at things. Starting honestly right from zero in most aspects. That is not to say there have not been two decades or more of years of therapy.

I want to have the capacity to give more to myself and others.

Making the changes will naturally add to my gratitude which in turn gives me a boost in my day.

I was asked if I wanted to make changes and learn mindful self-compassion just this last weekend. I eventually said that I would like to try to learn how.

This syncs with other training I am in the middle of doing. Life is precious and so is time. All we have is today folks!

I have a good friend and others too. They tell me and I used to need to hear it a lot, “Things will not always be this way.”  They were right!

As friends, we always remind each other of the truths we find along the journey.

I said another thing over the weekend. I said, “I want the religious spiritual part I used to feel back.” I felt it as I was writing this entry. Writing can be spiritual for me. In writing is healing. Healing brings restoration.

The song going through my head as I wrote this was an old hymn “I Have Decided.” Only the version mostly how Amy Grant sang it because it is true for me.

“I have decided being good is just a fable. I just can’t cuz I am not able…/”

On my own I cannot be good I need God’s help.

We are one decision away from a different life!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Taking Control Starts With The First Step

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Front of my Workbook.2023 With Mel Robbins

Hey, Y’all!

Taking control begins with the first step!

I woke up early this morning. I was excited because I woke up early on a Saturday.

I changed the choice of my morning coffee I was given some Duncan Donuts Iced Coffee bottles. So I had one of those with two doughnuts.

I thought about accomplishments for this week and things I was supposed to do but missed out on as well.

One thing, in particular, was missing out on a meeting I was supposed to call into but slept through because I was too tired because of wasted energy on being angry. I was too concentrated on just appeasing another person meanwhile anger festering inside.

I will tell you I did confront that situation the next day and I did so in the right way. It brought positive results. I was able to navigate and come to an agreement with the person.

The mind gets weary with wasted energy and shortens our life much more so. I am not willing to waste my energy on things that make me angry. Sometimes we must take a break and do some baking.

I was able to have my apartment to myself long enough to boil some chicken and shred it off the bone. I wanted to try making this Chicken Casserole recipe. I was very pleased with how it turned out.

I did take three different recipes and came up with my own. I also used the casserole to use in my confronting conversation. Sometimes conversations go better with comfort food.

Boxcar Mike’s Chicken Casserole:

Preheat oven to 350 °

I boiled 4 Frozen Chicken Quarters until done.

Shredded the Chicken after letting it rest for 15 minutes.

Spray a 9×13 glass pan with nonstick spray.

I Opened 2 cans of Cream of Chicken and spread them evenly in the pan.

I mixed the chicken with 1 can of cream of mushroom soup.

I opened 1 large can of my mixed veggies which included lima beans, potatoes, carrots, a few green beans, corn, celery, and lots of pearl onions.

I opened a regular 15 oz can of cut green beans and added 3 dips of the chicken broth I made from boiling the chicken probably adding up to 1 1/2 cups of broth.

I also put in 3 huge globs of sour cream I am going to guess 2 ¼ cups.

I topped it with some turkey stuffing (I crushed stuffing with a meat tenderizer) and let it bake for 45 min covered with aluminum foil. After 45 min top again with stuffing and put it back in for 15 minutes more.

Add spices as you wish.

Below is a picture of how mine turned out.

I have leftovers and I am missing my neighbor and friend Shirley. This is something I would have shared with her. I am going to eat some after I finish this entry.

My point in this whole post is we do the things that help us help ourselves. We do not have to take control with an iron fist. It is taking steps to change the things we can. It is also accepting those things over which we have no control.

I made up my mind to walk today even while it was sprinkling telling myself I will not melt.

It is empowering to be awake today and take the steps I can.

I want to be better for myself without everything being a struggle. It is possible.

Today, may we travel lightly.

22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22 (ESV)

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!