changes

The Truths Of Your Shortomings To Get Past Them

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Leadington, Missouri July 19th, 2022

Hey, Y’all!

I am here again today using my life experience along my journey in what it takes to get things done. In my experience, I must call out the truth of my shortcomings to myself, God, and a trusted person.

If I can call out the truth, then it can help me get past whatever it is and do what I need to do for that day. Each day is a new challenge and sometimes repetitiveness happens. Regardless, I must get things done. I cannot have a bunch of half-done things and rest well. I am not sure anyone rests when things are half-done

Like it or not there is a routine in my mind, and I try to put it on paper daily. I check off each item as I complete it. I also have a digital and I have my physical calendar, to look at and mark off each day and the main events with a big X.

Every day feels like a time management process. If I do not have things written or printed out, I end up spinning my wheels, wasting time when I could get it done, and feeling as though I can rest, at the end of the day.

I am picking back up here now, Wednesday Morning. Yesterday was a day unto itself. I had an eye doctor appointment, so I could get my eyes evaluated for new glasses. I am far-sighted and thankfully only a little worse.

Getting back to the subject of calling myself out on my shortcomings. It is important so that I can be okay. This morning I had a conversation with someone about the power of letter writing as well. I thought to myself as we hung up, I need to write a letter to myself and figure out where I am going.

I cannot stay, and not move. I must keep growing and improving on where I want to go and who I want to be.

It is a continuous journey once we decide to let go of the stuff that holds us back from self-betterment and or growing into the person we want. I know I am created for more than I am now.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

The Adult Has To Play Well With Others

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My Peace Lily Hoping To Get Another

Hey, Y’all!

Sometimes I know exactly what I am going to say in my post before I get it out. I just never know the ending or what it will look like at the end. I am just as surprised as you most of the time. It is like, who knew?

Did any of you all your mama say, “I am surprised at you?”

Mine did, I would respond with, I know me too! Not a good thing to say back. I am just saying.

In the last few posts, they have all been random. This one is no different.

Playing well with others was never a true statement for me. I loved to do my own thing. I still do in fact.

I find out doing my own thing after Friday nights and well even though the week, once I turn my phone off for the night, I have a lot more peace.

I did not even think this weekend through it just happened naturally. I took an extra day of rest. I felt guilty for a second. I then realized I must extend my hours for the next few months because I have a nurse, Nurse B. (Her name starts with B for real), and she is not a morning person.

You roll with punches, I guess. I will be done with my day at 6:30 pm. Fridays I will be finished with the day by 4:00 pm. Of course, that does not apply to my friends. If we have made plans, all the better.

I needed the extra rest today. I am supposed to be at an event online at this very moment and have my phone open. My plans changed. These things happen.

I know that the event is downloadable and will get to it at my earliest convenience. There was also a second event I had to say no to at the same time. I am hoping it will be downloadable or at least a stream online as well later. If not, oh well.

My neighbor friends have been missing me and at some point, I do need to be available for them as well. I do love them and care about them.

It is not just for the nurse I had to extend my hours it is also because I have had to schedule transportation for an eye doctor’s appointment next week. They could call anytime this week to confirm the appointment and confirm the time they are picking me up for the appointment.

I promised one neighbor a cake and I will make that tonight and have that ready for her in the morning.

I have yet to make supper, but I did get extra rest. It is just going to be a light supper, I think.

Here is a clue for someone out there asking, who is going to help me?

No one is coming. I have made a promise to love, care, protect, feed, and do what I must to keep myself at peace and in harmony with my surroundings. No one will do that for me.

The only thing coming is the wolves. I must keep them away from my door at all costs.

As a friend says, stay busy. Never forget where you came from.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Preparing Myself By Taking Responsibility For Upcoming Events

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Bismarck, Missouri 2018

Hey, Y’all!

I am back writing again today. Yesterday, I wrote about current affairs in the world and being prepared for a world crisis. Every part of life has to do with being prepared and can help lower the anxiety that arises. It is taking the responsibility for our lives.

I explained yesterday I am on disability. This means I am on a limited income. This means my budget only allows for so much in supplies and to cover my needs. The warning I gave out to watch and be prepared is about learning to live without some luxuries.

Life is hard and there is much we can do to make it a little bit easier by being prepared.

I listen to people on various platforms. I listen to farmers, preppers, homesteaders, pastors, cooks, truckers, few but also some people in politics. I try to tune out of the news as much as possible. However, like most curiosity gets to me. I refuse to watch any daily news on television.

My writing takes different tangents depending upon where I am daily.

I do write a lot on recovery, and spirituality. Since Covid19 there has been a lot of turmoil. I write a lot about where I am with routine and how important it is to me to not go backward in my basic physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. It all boils down to my journey.

Taking the responsibility for my journey which is my life. I do not wait for people to call me out on the things I may fail in. It is more important for me to recognize and take the responsibility for correcting my actions as much as I can.

Swallowing the hard chunks of truth about myself and using the people in my circle to bounce stuff on, and hear their experience, strength, and hope.

I want to keep moving in my journey and not stay stuck. To surround me in more healthy ways and try new and diverse ways. To learn to be more open-minded and not think my ways are the only ways. If no one can tell you anything, chances are you are going to get stuck and stay stuck. This drives me nuts and keeps me depressed and is no longer an option for me.

In my journey, I have learned how to make things easier by organizing and stopping hoarding. Stocking up a pantry of food and supplies is not the same thing as hoarding. When you learn to throw away things and get rid of things that are supposed sentimental.

Learning to clean up after every mess is important. Cleaning as you go stops a lot of catastrophes and messes.

Planning stops a lot of headaches. Planning for me is starting each day with a prayer and meditation. Make my phone calls and have both my physical calendar and my digital calendar. Making my gratitude list and list of things to do each day.

Staying on top of medications is just as important as breathing.

Meal planning takes effort if you have it packaged correctly and taking up less space it makes it a lot easier.

Making and keeping my boundaries has proven to be challenging for me. But it is an important part of not having a short fuse in dealing with others. I find myself more taking breaths and stating my needs at moments. Sometimes it is learning to laugh so you have an extra breath before you sound too serious or demanding.

That is not to say you might not have to keep repeating the same statement in a direct serious tone. These are serious times with plenty of stress.

For others to respect your time, space, boundaries, and things you must respect them first. This I have learned on a summary of all these things I have mentioned. Still, I must keep practicing as well. No one has it all down.

It is continuous learning and practicing. This is me staying busy. It is time for lunch!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Making Choices And Keeping The Wolves Away

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Where part of my childhood was left behind.

Victoria, Missouri 2016 (Desoto)

Hey Y’all,

Here we are continuing to move forward with the rising inflation in everything that is affecting us as common people. If you are anything like me trying to live on a slim budget, you are constantly making choices on what you can have and not have.

It comes down to what you eat, cleaning, laundry, and of course the extras in any kind of entertainment or technology to stay current. I am grateful for the help I do have, Though, at times I have wanted to wish away the help, not realizing I could be shooting myself in the foot.

I did the monthly shopping yesterday rather; I had a helper do it with my list. I did a guestimate of prices and was close. I went over the guestimate by $15.00. The remaining balance forces choices for what is available for the rest of the month.

On my social media, I have hinted around to the fact that farmers, preppers, truckers, and even the Chief of The United Nations, have warned of global food shortages are coming. Some people might be calling these alarmists or fear-mongering people.

We are amid the beginning of it especially when things are missing off the store shelves. Stores can make their shelves look full. What happens is, that you start being unable to find the same product you usually buy.

As a country, we have not had it this financially probably since The Great Depression. One of my favorite people says that is exactly what we are soon to be in for another, Great Depression. It is past time to take heed to that.

We had close calls in the first part of Covid19, and yet most of us only had a taste of what was like. Many lost jobs, incomes, homes, and their very lives due to Covid19 and the effects of the disease.

I am on disability and yet healing beyond what I was a year ago, thankfully!

I did not get to start my garden or even collect the things I thought I might do to try to learn water-bath canning. It was a hope and believed I could pull it all together.

I am very eager to learn, but not all the things could I get together. In part, I am learning I am more eager than the actual work of it all is in my ability.

What is in my ability is to stock my fridge, freezer, and pantry. I cook all my meals at home. I do not go out to eat unless a friend has come by to get me to go out. In most cases, I prefer my cooking over any fast food, restaurants, take-out, or delivery. However, I am human like anyone else, and a break from the kitchen is most welcomed.

That said, I have gotten, and I hate most people going into my kitchen because they in most cases are not going to prepare my meal or treat my pots and pans right. I am demanding in my kitchen I want things done a certain way.

When I was ill, I could endure a lot of things. Burned cheeseburgers, and messed-up omelets, were all acceptable. I love a burned cheeseburger.

Here is the real issue. It is stocking up the pantry with spam peanut butter, and canned meats, vegetables, and fruits of any kind. Having sugar, flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, instant coffee, creamer, tea, water, hygiene stuff toilet paper, and cleaning supplies.

If you think you have enough for one or two months, you do not have enough. Are you going to be able to have all your extras that are must-haves? Nope!

The wolves are coming to the door, and you need to be prepared stocked up, and ready to protect what is yours. Hey, this does not mean stopping helping one another and living in a community.

We just need to be prepared. It is past time, and we are on borrowed time to get it done already! Let us get it done and be prepared.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Just To Be With You Me And God

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am back here again there is so much always to share and be grateful for. I am learning and relearning new things and old things every day.

First and foremost, Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mamas!

I celebrate my own Mama today! I shared how much I love her the other night on the phone. I told her how much I appreciate her and the wonderful ways she helped me get through life when I was younger and especially in the past year.

Her reply was something along the lines of all I have done been able to do is pray, help, and love you from a distance.  It is not exactly it but close to what she said. I said is that not what moms are supposed to do love from a distance with their grown children? Again, something close was my reply and it was like a lightbulb a went on for both of us. She agreed it is.

Friends there were days in the past year of many tears and fears. Not knowing what to do or how to do this life. My mama knows a thing or two, and that was prayer and encouragement.

Right now, there are logistics to work out and we must work through them for me to meet up with her. I cannot wait for the day we get to meet up. All I can say is that it is complicated, but love and love are not complicated at all between her and me anyway. Otherwise, I would be celebrating her in person!

I encourage everyone everywhere is a way to be with your mama, you go be with her celebrate her, and show her your thankful heart. You let it be all about her today! Take those pillows for her weary head and feet. She has carried you a long way if she is biological or not!

This leads me to also say This mama I told you about is my bonus Mama, and she has bled, sweated, cried, prayed, worried, and laughed all through my growing up and adulthood. She has breathed life into me. But I also celebrate my biological Mama who gave me life and allowed me to fully develop and be born! One of my biological sisters and I lovingly refer to her as Mommy Joyce.

How does all this fit into the new things I am learning?

I am learning to stop the self-hate talk that goes on in my head. Letting go is a decisive process that starts with a five-second rule with the negative thought stopping the thought as it enters in 5-4-3-2-1.

It is taking that time to look at me in the bathroom mirror and look myself in the eye and say, “Hey Mike, you are going to do great things today!” and then high five myself. I am still at a difficult point with this finding it somewhat silly and fruitless.

However, I have made a promise to keep high fiving myself until I want to do it and it does not feel forced. That is not to say I do not have to force myself. Some days are easier, and some are harder.

My whole inner core of myself is to want to know me, be with me, be who I am and be with My God the Father, The Creator, and be all I was made to be. My soul cries out for that and has my whole life

There have been times of my doing the best to drown it out through self-hate self-sabotage and doing everything I can to die.

I am still in a process of fighting behaviors that no longer serve me. I will probably be in a fight with some of those until my last breath! The good news is this it gets better! I have gotten better, but there is always more work to be done.

I want to live today. I want to Celebrate being with you, me, and God.

Just for today!

Thanks for reading!

Other links you may want to find me in, are the following:

My Youtube Channel

My Facebook Page

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

My Gratitude Is A Plan Of Action

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Hey, Y’all!

It’s good to be back writing once more. I have been big on gratitude for some time. Perhaps even before I knew just how useful this tool can be and can save me from a day being ruined.

Monday was such a day I had the opportunity to use this valuable tool to turn my day around.

I was feeling, just not with it, and thought maybe I would coast through the day feeling armed with a new form of knowing more about myself during this process of resetting my life.

Somewhere between 11:00 am and 1:00 pm, I was feeling that Monday day coming on feeling and being a little bit hangry. Hungry, angry, and a man of little patience. The self-pity even started to slip in.

The next thing I started contemplating was the fact of me doing this reset. While it may have started as a reset with Mel Robbins, I realized this was my reset. I could start my day over and I started making a gratitude list.

I next realized, “Hey this is the first time I ever thought on my own to do a gratitude list in response to my feelings. Something is working here!”

I have decided to do a daily gratitude list of 10 things each day. In this entry, I am using yesterday’s list as the guide in which I share the changes in why I am grateful for each item.

To me, it is just amazing how you may know useful tools and how one day the light bulb goes on where those tools become more effective.

My list starts in the following way:

  • I am grateful for the fact that I am alive.

This means I have a chance to grow and break the cycles I have remained in and that no longer serve me.

  • I am grateful I can change my attitude.

I do not have to be miserable and make others miserable. I get the opportunity to change my responses to negative things and the thoughts running through my brain.

  • I am grateful I can change my actions.

For a long time, I did not know I have a choice to choose not to respond. I always have that option. In a lot of cases, it is the best choice I can make.

  • I am grateful for a program that helps me get it together,

I do not have to stay stuck. I can make up my mind to follow suggestions that have worked for others. There is strength in numbers and a lot of times just listening to others’ experiences helps me way more than trying some little trick. Though doing something I have never done before works as well, in most cases.

  • I am grateful for my spirituality.

Today I believe God is real and has my best interest in mind. I believe God has fought hard for me in the insane life I have led. He loves me unconditionally. I believe God has a plan for me and gave His Son for me. I am not here to shove it down your throat. It is a fact in my life and what I believe.  

I believe God has used and continues to place people, places, and circumstances in my life for different reasons. All of it is shaping who I am today.

  • I am grateful I do not have to ask family and friends to bail me out of every jam today.

There have been so many times in my life of being irresponsible and keeping on making the same poor choices that left me in the jams of insanity. The many times of having to lose everything start over. I hope to never have to repeat those lessons and pray I stay on the journey I am traveling.

  • I am grateful my life has turned around.

Almost a year ago now I realized I had turned a corner in my life where I reached the physical age of poor decisions and living just plain wrong had a cause and effect upon my life. My body’s check engine light came on and it was no fun. I have made changes and hope to make even more.

  • I am grateful that the simple small actions can make my day a success.

The simple small steps are making a gratitude list. It is getting up as soon as possible and choosing to move forward with my day. Taking the time for self-care. Filling my medicine box, being my advocate, Praying first thing, and getting that cup of coffee before I talk to anyone. Taking a pause, I do not always remember this and usually regret it later.  

  •  I am grateful for the choice to stop the insanity.

Whether it comes through the phone or trying to come in through my front door. I have the choice to refuse it today. To be honest, mostly insanity tries to come into my thoughts and that is where the rubber meets the road. Stopping the first thought can be winning the battle.

  • I am grateful for a place to call home.

I have food in the cabinets and fridge, I have a place to sleep and it is safe to be here. I get to be here today.

I hope this has been uplifting and has helped you on your journey.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcarmike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Spring Reset With Mel Robbins And Catching Up Currently

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
“You can’t control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act.” — Mel Robbins

Hey, Y’all!

I am at the last minute getting information out about a very important opportunity that could change your life.

The other evening I was going through my Facebook feed when I came across Mel Robbins offering a free Spring Reset 3- Part training. Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker. I jumped on the chance for this opportunity and hope that many others take this FREE Opportunity as well. Please Click The Link  https://courses.melrobbins.com/reset you will not be disappointed.

I have followed the instructions thus far and already have the training 1 video waiting for me to watch and work through in my email.

I have shared before and continue to share that a year ago when I was in the hospital and rehabilitation Nursing Home, I would not remain the same when I returned home.

I was released the Weekend of July 4th, 2021. My Independence Day personally, was July 4th, 2021. When friends did what they could but especially one friend who asked someone to help me move to a street-level apartment.

My life has not been the same since coming home that day. I have not, nor has anyone else found it necessary to call an ambulance for myself since the Spring of 2021. I want to continue my journey of change.

I am down to two wounds on my left extremity on either side of my ankle. A year and a half ago we were looking at 11-15 wounds total and maybe even more than that. I have lost a total of 75 pounds in the last year and I am hoping to press on beyond that.

I have made my apartment home and refer to it as my house. I feel like I am a sponge taking in everything I can learn, hoping to implement more changes in my life. I have plenty of room for improvement and want more than anything to keep growing and changing.

Emotionally and spiritually there has been an improvement in not having to take other people’s temperatures to see if I am okay.

I am closer to God than I have been in almost the whole seven years I have moved to South East Missouri. Again I have much room for improvement. I am finding I am for once, reasonably happy and content in my surroundings.

I am finding joy in my life. I have accused others of stealing my joy and maybe one or two monsters that were once in my life did steal my joy. But I realize today, I mostly traded my joy for fear, anger, resentment, hatred, self-loathing, and self-pity, Do you get it? I became my monster.

I am working to rid myself of all the monsters today.

I am learning to surrender, pray, and meditate. I have hope and a future.

I get the choice to listen to others and realize they help me more as I listen.

I do not have to defend myself today in stories others may hear about me or see. I have both been a good friend and a jerk. Both are true.

My life is not even close to what it once was and I am pushing forward.

Let’s Do this Spring Reset With Mel Robbins

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

I Have Updated The Links Page and Sharing Life

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

I am pleased to announce I have fully updated the cooking shows and other favorite links page to this point.

I hope to add in my planting of a few plants. I am limited in living space being in a one-bedroom apartment with a small square of a patio. It is still my refuge and where I can have my sanctuary of peace. I am very grateful for it.

I do want to share more of my life and the favorite things I like to do. I also want to dabble in new things and share those along the way as well.

To have a quality of life means living and doing things as well. It takes action. Doing things even when you know might fail.

I would rather have the enjoyment of at least trying something than not ever knowing if I could do anything. I am like a lot of people sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. When that happens I know it is time to regroup and start smaller.

Changes and cycles are all a part of life’s way.

I want so much more out of life in doing and being. While this is one page I have updated it is just part of my favorite things. If all I did was watch cooking shows and never try a recipe well then it is kind of pointless. Though my meals may not always have the desired appeal to them, the fact I try at all and come out with a result makes me happy.

I am having to reuse a lot of pictures as far as my pictures because I am running out of them to share.

I hope to take more pictures and do more things. I want to make more memories. Especially as a single in this life, it is important to me to document more and make my mark in this life.

Last year I am not sure I was hanging on to a string of hope. This year is different. It has been a year of healing and hope combined. I am learning more to self-sustain but even more so develop spiritually more in faith.

While I hope for many more years to come at the end of my life I do want to be able to say it has been a fun, wild, ride, I hope to make a difference even if it is only in one person’s life. I hope I see the 80s and 90s of old age and do everything people said I could not do. I want to do the things that I say I never could do!

A year ago, I truly believed in my heart I was having to try and figure out how to leave this world peacefully and with as much grace as possible being angry still.

But it was prayers of faith good thoughts, goodwill, and hope. I am never going to stop trying to take greater care of my precious life. I may give in to a few things. But I will continue the journey to the end.

I do find one thing no matter what to be grateful for each day!

Joy comes in the morning!

Thanks for reading!

This has been a blog post entry update by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless, Y’all Everybody!

Reflection, Mourning, Celebrating, And Letting Go of Selfishness

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Photo By: Boxcar Mike I use these reminders

HeyY’all!

I have much love and appreciation as of today the 500 plus likes of Boxcar Mike. I am grateful for this platform.

I am gonna get right into it. I have had a few moments of melancholy and that homesick feeling of wanting yesteryear back. You see, every year right before celebrating my birthday, I have cause to reflect on the year and many years now, before it.

I have 56 years to look back on. Some of those years were harder than others. All of them meant some kind of change was going on.

I want the times with my brother back. I want all the good times with my mama and dad back. I want the good times of more recent years of my mama back. No one sang that country song “You’re Gonna Miss This,”  to me way back then. I took so much for granted.

Oh to have my dad alive, healthy, and well. But if I ever wanted that wish so selfishly well my Mama wouldn’t have the man she does today, who she loves and he loves her. It is not that my dad didn’t love her, or that she didn’t love him, it is more life moved on.

Sometimes our selfish wants to step all over our loved ones. So we learn to love and accept life on life’s terms. Some of those terms mean they get to have a life they couldn’t have otherwise. For there is a season for everything under Heaven.

As for my brother, well he’s alive and well living the closest to a wonderful life as he can. He is with a wonderful wife with whom I just skip in law with and call my sister! They have one handsome son, all grown up now and couldn’t be prouder of as I am also.! Ladies, he’s off the market last I heard. He’s now living the awesome dream he wants as well, all out on his own.

I could go on with all my siblings, aunts, uncles, etc Even Grandma and Grandpa. But do you not know my selfish perfect world if granted, would put an end to their close to perfect worlds, that they get to live in and or finally rest in peace. I love my whole family! I never want to invade or try to trump their way of life with my selfishness.

I did choose to live an hour or more away. I knew it might be hard and some days are harder than others. Especially when you want to help or change things. But the reality is there is no more I could do if there than me here. I would be in the way and selfishly stomping all over what God is doing.

I screw up enough in my own life. I am not perfect! Some days you just cry because well, in the past you see where you made it hard for people to love you. But you do not get to wish their lives away for your selfish dreams. Sometimes I wake up and bust out laughing about a dream or a memory that was funny. This sometimes happens, In the wee hours of the morning.

I have been through many changes, hardships, scares, and looking like I could not come out of the woods, this year alone!

There are probably a good 35 years I want back, Right now, I am just trying to make up for the last ten years. They tell me “Mike buddy, all you got is today.” It is back to simplicity. One day, one heartbeat at a time. That is all we have. I just want another hug, another I love you!

May we all be around for the next entry of Boxcar Mike.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All  Everybody!

Integrity Not Only In Words But Action

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone!

I am very excited to finally be writing tonight. I have had many technical interruptions that held me off from writing today.

There has been a series of events that happened because of my willingness to change and trust different processes along the way.

In my previous posts, you will have read about my hospitalizations and time in a rehab center following many falls from bed. Plus, there were a host of many things brought on by my health difficulties, of gaining weight, diabetes, wound ulcers swelling, and unwillingness to be hospitalized until a time it was close to the last call.

So, the very first thing I want to share is my right leg and foot are wound-free. Every wound is closed and healed on that leg and foot!

To me, that is a huge miracle! I am so thankful to God for this very thing. I am thankful to drivers’ nurses, doctors, friends, family, and support in all different ways. It took everything and everyone. I do have to keep compression wraps on that leg. But is so amazing.

The left leg and foot where the wounds are, very close to closing. They have a little way to go yet. However, it is so much better.

I left the rehab right before July 4th, 2021; It was then, I made a promise to myself and others, that nothing was going to be the same ever again.

Used by permission of meltblogs from Facebook.com

This right here is what I am replacing my negative self-talk with. Read the words in that meme picture.

I began making changes in my diet asking for help more. At the time I needed more help.

My own photo of What I prepared homemade.

There has been a mountain of changes. Exercising and working with physical therapy, walking more and more so recently. Doing my best to make life less complicated, more organized, and simpler.

I have had to clear my mind of the junk I have held onto for years. I have had to stop excuses for my behavior. It has truly become a program of action. It comes in forgiving others and learning to let myself off the hook for things that were not my fault.

In The last few weeks even, most recently, this week I have drawn some lines in the sand for myself. I have had to get real with God and my faith. I have had to admit some wrongs. I continuously take inventory of myself and even a few lingering details of my past.

I have had to return to a relationship with God built on total honesty and his mercy and grace through all my trials.

I went home and moved to a street-level apartment. I was home for two months or so. Then it was to only be back in the hospital for like a week and diagnosed with osteomyelitis.

I was doing everything I could to get off the PICC line. I was scared I would be on antibiotics for the rest of my life. I have been off antibiotics for about a few weeks now think.

The night I got home from the hospital I talked to God and said I was not ready yet.

I found out I have a whole lot of life left in me. I am making the changes, I am sharing who I am today, what I have done, and this broken mess of a life, I have been leading.

Walking With my walker “Cadillac Jack”
Photos of my walk

I am stopping the negative self-talk, the complaining about not enough. The secret thoughts, I am bringing them to light; I want to show them for what they are and to put them down.

I do want to figure out something as I heal more and more to generate an income and be able to get off government aid and disability. I want to own my own home.

The time is getting real folks! Inflation is going to eat us up.  I won’t sit by and just be quiet anymore. I am also ready to say let’s fire every single one in office as “We the People.” Because almost every single last one in the office is not for the people of this country. We are going to have to pull together no matter which side you are on and be self-sustaining people! Buy Local! I am hearing it from farmers and truckers alike. We must figure out how to replenish what we take from our communities. If we do not, we all go under.

I am getting off track but on track too!

Integrity is taking on the responsibility of my whole self and being true, through and through.

I want to live comfortably in my skin and call a spade a spade. No more hiding. No More on the fence!

I hope you enjoy the many pictures I am sharing as well.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out.

God Bless Y’All Everybody!