Change

We Just Finished A Quarter Of The Year!

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Farmington Missouri 2021

Hey, Y’all!

Welcome to May 2022!

I am in the middle of doing a hard reset of my life. While it is Mel Robbins with the idea of doing a reset and training videos. I am grateful for her sharing the training videos. I have received a more in-depth look at everything.

I have more tools and systems to add to my toolbox. But I must say, even the Bible says there is nothing new under the sun. I have been in therapy for over twenty years and my therapist is the best in my book. He has asked many of the questions and wanted the same work done in this reset that is required.

So I am excited because it gave me a new way to look at those questions and figure out what I want and do not want in my life. What will my life look like if I have all the things I want my life to look like. It is just as important that I get to share this with my friends, family, and people who follow my journey.  

I had the opportunity to fill up my fun tank. I did a brunch with a friend. I got to implement my cooking in action by making a coffee cake and hash brown casserole. I am still learning to ask for help. Most of the time, I admit it comes down to me conceding to the fact I need help.

Sometimes I am surprised when it turns out to be a successful day. It is about connecting with another human being and living life on a spiritual plane. Sharing and loving each other. Taking action. Love and respect in action.

I have been missing the tools that have been right in front of me the whole time. The missing link had been learning how to take action. There is a way designed for tools to work, but the difference is the know-how.

The way to conquer the goals and larger achievements is by doing the small things. Doing the small steps to take a bigger stride.

I am a visual learner with hands-on. This means yes I want control. I have to see it in black and white at least, if not even color-coded, highlighted with exclamation points, and underlined. The bottom line is to just do the action!

When I get to check off what I have completed I feel accomplished. Seeing is believing! I am laughing as I write this part because it is hilarious that this is exactly how I act in real life when given a set of instructions. It is also usually followed up by, are you sure this is right?

Often I think up every reason why not to follow the directions or divert from the original plan. However, I  have to go back and read the original directions and just do what is directed.

I am resetting folks! Do you need a reset? I will be sharing more along this journey.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Integrity Happens Because I Decide My Behavior

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
Walthers Park DeSoto, Missouri 2016

Hi Everyone!

I hope once again to dive deeper into the subject of integrity.

Choosing my behavior begins as soon as I stumble from my bed and get my coffee ready so I can say a prayer.  While it has only been as of late to be consistent with this, so far I am finding it works.

My prayer starts simply: God, please help me today I cannot do this without you. God, please direct my thoughts today to help me to be divorced from self-pity and that I may be of help to others where I can. Help me to pause when angered or agitated. Help me to stay in the right behavior and help me to be mindful of you. Thank you God for another day and help me to live life to the fullest amen.

I look at past behaviors and realize without doing my prayer I would stay stuck the whole day because I did not take that needed moment. I do this before I talk to anyone. Unless of course, I am awakened abruptly.

I try to be as open and honest as I can. I try to be motivated by the right things realizing I am not perfect. None of us are perfect.

I have key people in my circle who I run things by to make sure I am on the right track. Sometimes, it means a talk just to see what is going on inside my head. A lot of times, it means listening to others and not just so I can think of the next thing to say. Sometimes it means being a sounding board to stay out of my head.

Integrity for me means being true to myself and admitting when I am wrong revealing my motives. It also means slowing down a minute and looking at myself through the eyes of others. We cannot always see what others see in us. It also means doing the right thing when no one is watching.

I do my best to avoid behaviors that are going to threaten my freedom. I do my best to avoid behaviors that can lead me back in my addictions. I avoid situations that will threaten my sanity. Peace of mind and minding my own business are priceless today.

I do my best to stop myself from gossiping or entertaining gossip. It has no value in a productive life. However, yes do we all not enjoy a good story every once in a while? I will say it is a trap and can start a trend. It messes with my peace today. I want better for myself.

I write gratitude lists from time to time because otherwise, I can slip into not being grateful. I do not want to be selfish today. Being ungrateful certainly does lead to being selfish.

One of the hardest parts I believe is looking at the exact wrongs and harms I have done to others. But perhaps the hardest of all is making those harms and wrongs right.

Some people and situations will never be the same. My hope is never to do the same wrongs and harms ever again.

For me, it has come down to doing the right thing or not doing it at all. There is no middle ground anymore.

There is more to be continued with this subject of integrity and behavior.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Confronting Every Aspect of My Life’s Hypocrisy

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Walthers Park DeSoto Missouri 2016

Hey, Y’all!

I am here and we have some new viewers and new followers. I welcome you all and I hope everyone feels free to comment and post.

I also added one new page of links to this blog “Cooking Shows And Other Favorites.”

I am excited with today’s topic continuing where I kind of strayed off-topic with integrity. I took a break from it. Without further droning on.

Here, we go!

Hypocrisy would mean lacking integrity. Saying I believe one way and then acting differently. However, I would be preaching to others the importance of holding up a moral code. One I did not follow myself, therefore making me a hypocrite.

I decided after a talk with my mama to look up the definition of integrity I ended up with a good summarization of the word after surfing the internet. One plain definition in just plain talk is, behaving in such a way that one does the right thing even when no one is watching.

A quote shared with me is and found spot on.

“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort. It’s choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. It’s choosing to practice your values rather than simply professing them.”

— Brené Brown, via twitter.com Dare To Lead

Definition of integrity

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: INCORRUPTIBILITY

2: an unimpaired condition: SOUNDNESS

3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided: COMPLETENESS

Cited from: Merriam-Webster Dictionary

My self-examination and inventory of my life over the years have finally gotten me to scream to myself; “your words and your actions must match up to have any quality of life.”

The things I have had to look and test with are the quotes below:

  1. “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”  George S. Patton
  2. “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.” Stephanie Lahart
  3. “Is it true, is it kind, or is it necessary?” Socrates

I have had to look at my life and something helped that I took hard at the time was when a friend mentioned, “Oh so a lot of your problems have been self-imposed and self-sabotaged?” Well, I was taken aback and embarrassed by the truth in front of me. I sheepishly answered, yeah.

But that seed planted was enough to grow and finally get me to face me.

I started changing as I feel granted more years to live than what could have been. It was not enough. There had to be more crucial changes my diet had to change. I had to admit to my innermost being that I was addicted to food as much as I was an alcoholic and addict.

I started over on my step work I started getting more honest.
I had to get past being a victim of circumstances and I am working hard on that today.

In the not-too-distant past, I had to admit I was addicted to more. I had to start changing what I was feeding myself through screens. It was taking me down and giving me a paralyzing fear.

I listened to a message yesterday at Browers Wesleyan Church. I listened with more intent on receiving a message just as much, maybe, even more, than when I decided I was defeated by my other addictions. You don’t have to agree with me or what was spoken.

Now I have already been making changes before this message was ever spoken. The real question for me yesterday was, will I keep doing what I am doing or go back to old ways.

I want my whole life above board. If I feel the need to hide anything then I am not walking the life of integrity. The thing is I am not hiding anything anymore. I will not go backward on this.

It is the secrets that will kill you.

Colossians 4:6 (ESV) 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Everything I say is about my journey, my walk; if it helps you then great.

I know this was still a basic overview and hope to dive deeper in the next blog post entry.

I am not done with this subject by a long shot!

Like I have said before, I was told I could have a better life. I want that better life. I am doing what I have to for me to get it.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

A Way Out Through Writing To Myself

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Hi Everyone!

I wanted to update you about the coming soon pages to my blog. I have been lazy as far as those are concerned.

The thing is, this post turned out the way it did. It just is.

Today I am sharing a letter to my younger self. He has been waiting for freedom, and now he is finally free.

To give you the background in my lifetime I have two first names, so I am combing them for the younger guy.

I want to talk to this guy right here!

me at about 15

Jeffrey Michael,

The monsters are gone, and they cannot hurt you anymore. I did not know how to protect you. I tried my best and asked God to rescue you. Through it all, I believe God was there.

You made adult choices between 11 years old to 15 years old and probably even farther. You lived in so many worlds not being satisfied with where you were. You did just want to survive.

My little man, you could not run your life. Your answer to everything was running away.

You got your first-weekend job at 12 years old and had your first drink on the job. This was both comical and sad. You needed all kinds of help. You woke up the next morning forced to do a mile run puking your guts up swearing you’d never do it again.

It was too late you were ready for the next buzz as soon as stuff hit the fan.

You were born into a world of sickness, disease, addiction, and full of dark secrets. You were unwanted on many levels. You carried it with you throughout your life.

There were people assigned to help you along the way that did not always have your best interest in mind.

However, there were people along the way such as clergy, your new parents, and other people, who did and do have your best interest at heart. But you undermined them all to try to get your way.

In the end, regardless of it being your survival tool it only served in self-defeat and was designed only to end your life.

God had to have carried you. That is the only answer to over 20 years of rebellion, addiction, alcoholism, being suicidal, and hospitalizations before you got help. Some people pointed the way, but you could not see your way through.

I am telling you now in the past 9 months you have finally come to terms with some of the things that had you so locked up inside yourself.

Seeds were planted and you were planted right here.

You are finally getting to bloom and accept the life changes. Finally, you are picking up the pieces of your wreckage. You have lots of life left in you. I am not going to let you waste it.

I am ready to surrender you to God to be able to self-parent you with His guidance. They are in the steps of this program which came from God’s word originally.

  1. My life was and is a mess anytime I try to excuse my behaviors.
  2. I had to come to believe I couldn’t be God and had to decide He either was or is not. He Is.
  3. I had to offer myself up and ask for help in turning my life over to God. I can not be running the show.
  4. Had to find my moral compass making a searching and fearless moral inventory. A total self-examination.
  5.  I had to admit to God myself and another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs.
  6. I had to be entirely ready to let God remove my defects of character. I have been holding a rock in my hand the entire time with bitterness, resentment, hate, and judgment. I had to drop that rock. I cannot be throwing rocks. I have to forgive people too. It only hurts me and it puts my life at peril.
  7. I have to humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings, and that is no shortlist. It is an honest appraisal of my short-comings. This gets me ready to do the following. All my secrets are out whew!
  8. Make a list of all persons I have harmed a Good portion may come off that 4th step moral compass we wrote out. Don’t burn that baby.
  9. Our list will let us know who to make direct amends to where ever possible.
  10. Continue to take personal inventory and promptly admit when I am wrong this doesn’t mean I have to wait for this step this is just a good check-in by this point we are getting ready for the next step because step 3 has now been defined by all the steps before and what remains is this:
  11. Sought Through prayer and meditation improve conscious contact with God as we understood God asking only for knowledge of His will and the power to carry that out!
  12. I am going to be ready to take this message to another person.

This is what is freeing you by laying it all down you got quite a few things to go. Being at step7, you do not have to hold on to the past anymore.

Anything is possible. Like they say Do not quit before the miracle happens. You have had plenty happen and many more are in your future.

I love you.

Love,

Me

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Making Choices I Can Live With Without Regrets

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Hi Everyone!
I am having my coffee and cigarette at 3:00 am this morning with a climate temperature of 46°. I am listening to my pandora app reminding me of yesteryear in country music.

Remembering Barbara Mandrell and Pam Tillis. You cannot remember Pam Tillis w/out remembering her father Mel Tillis, who sang “CocaCola Cowboy” Johnny Paycheck “Take This Job and Shove It.” Those artists take me back to a simpler time. But I am not here to talk about country artists. They are favorites I am listening to while waking up with my mug of hot coffee and cigarette.

I love the fact I slept 3 hours wake up to my super clean apartment.

Now, most of the cleaning I have done to keep myself. I am living in the habit of cleaning, which has been fully ingrained in me. If it took 55 years, so be it. I love the apartment that I do call my house.
Yesterday I interview and hired with the agency a caregiver. She had me at the fact of moving things out from the edges of my kitchen to sweep and mop. She even makes her cleaning solutions at home. It is something she does for herself with her own home.

I think she is an old soul who cleans like a lot of our grandmas have and tried to pass down to us.
I am looking forward to becoming fully organized in my supplies, cleaning filing, and dresser drawers. The closets will not be hard to organize, because there is not much room in them, to begin with.
I have been staying busy doing a lot of cleaning and less eating. I ate poorly the last week and a half by overindulging in all kinds of foods to not feel.

I have been dealing with the fact of me trying to avoid the grief I have associated with a couple of deaths. The fact is I have to deal with death without using food. I also do not want to use lack of sleep to become constantly sleeping to avoid things. This has been my pattern in the recent past. I am making decisions to making choices to deal healthily with myself.

I am doing my best to break out of isolation and call people. If I have not called or visited some of you in a long time; I am working on it. It is not because I do not care. Today it is all about trying to keep a balance and get back into trying to get there with you. That is the people I have regularly been in contact with in the past.

I do want to live my best life possible in every way I can do so.
This kind of reminds me how when young wanting my own real family and getting them. The next thing I was doing everything I could to get away from them. Now being an adult and recovering from life itself; I am trying every which way I know how to get back with them again.

We all have and make our choices. Sometimes there are more chances and sometimes you run out of chances. Today I want to make choices that I can live with, without regrets.
Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!
God Bless Y’all Everybody!

Edit: For facts of Johnny Paycheck And Mel Tillis and their perspective songs.

The Weeks’ Work And Rest Finding Balance

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Hey Everybody!

I have had a long week like everyone else. I am happy with myself that I am getting healthier and healing. The important thing about this week has been doing my own laundry. It was more important to show the medical staff the fruits of my labor and blood tests to prove it.

I am needing a balanced routine it has been proven to me, that I struggle with balance. I keep looking ahead and right in front of me. If I get too far ahead, I see impossibility, so I need to stay in this twenty-four-hour.

This weekend is about rest and sleep. If you do not get enough rest and sleep the weight will add on. You need more than one meal a day otherwise everything is self-sabotaged. Keeping the medicine regime and exercise.

Let us recap to stay on track. We need a regular routine of self-care: hygiene, exercise, medicine, sleep, and rest. We also need to ask for help when needed. My showers are so important they are my me-time emotionally and spiritually. I can cry, laugh, talk to myself, talk to God, and meditate all in the shower. Oh, and sing!

I struggle with check-ins. I am supposed to be checking in by keeping my appointment with my therapist and calling 2-3 people. I do get overwhelmed and overtired. I way oversleep. I do not mean to, but it is one more thing to change.

Some days I just want someone to hug me and say everything is all right; you are doing great just keep hanging in there.

I keep doing the dishes, sweeping, mopping, laundry, and taking some of the trash out, I even took the blinds down, washed, rinsed, and hung them back up. I vacuum. I have my helper break down boxes and take the trash out. I also have her wash sanitize doors and handles and now I am preparing all my meals. I do have my helper get the mail.

I also have my helper do some of the vacuuming sweeping and mopping.

I send my helper on errands I do not have transportation for. To be fair I order most of my groceries and supplies for delivery. The balance just is elusive most days.

I refuse to let everything stay the same. Growth is an absolute need. The acceptance of life on life’s terms is one thing. I can change myself and be happier and healthier while accepting those terms.

I have also contemplated the caregiver’s point of view. They are wondering most of the time if they are giving enough care. If they are doing the balancing act correctly with meals, medication, exercises, and personal care? While I have been a CNA in the past, I cannot imagine doing that for someone else today.

It is just as important caregivers do these things for themselves as much as they do for the ones, they care for.

I am doing what I can for myself today. I hope to keep changing and keep getting healthier.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all Everybody!

My Helper’s Motivating Me To Do It

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Hey Everybody !

Here I am again. This time I am talking about, using my caregiver as motivation for me to just do it. It is hard for me to comprehend just how set I am in my ways of doing things. I am telling you; I have higher expectations for doing a task than most are willing to do.

I am having to set reasonable boundaries; this is something brand new for me and stick to them. It makes me nervous and anxious because for me it is usually confronting something.

I remarked to her face that washing hands are important when touching food, dishes, anything, or anyone, that washing hands is important. She is temporary. Therefore, she is my motivator for me to do my own tasks.

I will just have her do things that are not in direct contact with me. I do not dread this woman; I feel sorry for her. That can be a downfall for me too. She is helping me get stronger; in the fact, I can do more for myself.

How does this fit in with gratitude, recovery, and my spiritual life? Physically, it is helping me do more and be more active. This also helps me emotionally. I have gratitude for being able to do more than I have been able to do in the last 4 years. I must slow down and think what I am going to say; and take those pauses so that I speak clearly, nicely, and still make my statements.

I feel like this helper is to teach me more about understanding rather than me being understood. However, I am also finding my voice and to live peacefully as possible.

Everything changes and I am hoping to keep changing with learning to be more tolerant.

I am loving myself today. I love my apartment and want to take care of it and me. There is more work to do on improving myself and my apartment. The main thing is keeping the promise to myself to do better. There are things I have not done well. I am keeping stock of those and trying to correct those things. They are a huge struggle. In the meantime, it is about being grateful for what has changed, and what I continue to do for improvement.

I refuse to go back to the way I once lived. One day, I hope to get the thorn out of my side and be free. I am working up to trying to get out at least once a month for something I want socially.

Even with all the help and money in the world, no one can do our work for us.

  • I am grateful for hot coffee on such a freezing morning.
  • I am grateful for changes.
  • I am grateful that I can see myself truthfully today.
  • I am grateful for my own space.
  • I am grateful for God who loves and understands me trying to better know Him amid my wrongs.
  • I am grateful I get to change my story today.
  • I am grateful for the desire to have a sincere relationship with myself.
  • I am grateful for the way out.
  • I am grateful for the different seasons and patience.
  • I am grateful there is more life, and that I get to take care of what I currently have in all things.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All Everybody!

Gratitude In Changes And Taking Care Of Myself

/ boxcarmike / Leave a comment
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Good morning!

Happy Tuesday morning.

I am looking forward to the day opening with almost having a heatwave of 58° here in Southeast Missouri. I am starting my day with gratitude for that alone. It is a wonderful day to open the apartment and let fresh air in.

It is also a wonderful day to get my walking in. I want more exercise than these four walls. I hope to get a few pictures hung. I want to enjoy myself just being at home with no nurse visits or helpers today.

I have a new caregiver coming on Wednesday. I want time to myself today.

  • I am grateful for a beautiful day.
  • I am grateful enjoying my coffee undisturbed and in relative silence.
  • I am grateful to share my experiences with others.
  • I am grateful for my genuine smile on the inside as well today.
  • I am grateful for regaining physical strength.
  • I am grateful I am not in the dumps today.
  • I am grateful for help and those who look out for me.
  • I am grateful for the choice to do better.
  • I am grateful there is the chance to live happy and purposeful.
  • I am grateful for family and friends. You all mean more to me than I could ever put in a list.

I get the choice to take care of myself in effective ways today. For me, it must start with gratitude. Just being grateful to wake up today. To see the beauty in life. In another time and place that was a dream. Today it is my reality.

In doing everyday things to make my meals today. There were times I was unable to make myself a meal. Today I can.

I am also thinking about my one word for the year, which is the word, seek. I had a small thought of what that might mean for me this year. The truth being, some of the things I have shared in my recent posts, I had no idea I would share. The thing for me to recognize is I am not the same person today.

I have and will talk to God about those matters.

I am not willing to live a life based on anger and needless worry. I am not willing to stay in depression and pull the covers over my head every day.

I have issues to deal with. I will not let those issues overtake me today. As I am unable to live anyone else’s life nor can anyone live my life.

It has taken me years to stop taking your temperature to see if I am okay. Guess what? I am doing great! There are still areas of my life that need work and thank goodness for grace. I am not responsible for other people’s feelings today.

I got my own backyard and sidewalk to clean. I cannot be meddling in yours.
I am going to keep seeking a happy, joyous, and free life.

I also want to say I am grateful for all the teachers in my life. I have been told by others and believe them; I can have a good life. I am going for it!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All Everybody!

Asleep Behind The Keyboard Mindful of Myself

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Hey Everybody,

I fell asleep in my office chair extremely exhausted. This week the not so pretty parts of my story have become known. The writer part of me cannot hold back what the answers are in my journey; and the spiritual side will not let me hide those things at least in general.

My goal has always been to be authentic and true to myself. To walk and be free of the bondage of self is the ultimate. I will do my best to never tell anyone’s story but my own.

I have been trying to unlearn the masking process and the pretend way of life. I had no prior knowledge of even writing this tonight. Lots of things seem to be happening that I have not planned to share. I do not share the negative parts because I am proud of them.

I have been sharing everything to finally be free, find understanding, as well as help another person.

Just maybe finally the cycle of insanity can be broken. I do believe that there are parts of our lives that can heal in the blink of an eye, but mostly a lot of my healing has come in the form of education. Taking the steps to freedom means work.

I will be the first to tell you I am lazy when it comes to working. Once I start and I am in the salt mines of these steps, I am working! I just did not realize I would take a season for each thing. I am hoping to move faster.

I have to say in my past work, I thought a lot of the amends were to everyone I shared about in previous steps. They are to a degree but a lot more are related to my shortcomings and refusal of letting go at times. I have dreams and thoughts come to me to prepare for the future of my journey. They are painful and gut-wrenching ones.

I have said I could author a book about my own life. Every one of us, could take our lives and make a movie about them. I am just not sure we would want every scene to play out in front of everyone. Thank goodness we can change. We can heal, forgive, we can be forgiven, and sweep our side of the street.

Most of what I learn is from someone else, who has been taught by someone else. The latest phrase I do have to share is simply this, learning to stay in our own lane. If I can just stay in my own lane and not be nosey about your lane, I will do well.

My goodness! My own lane has enough work, without me wanting to stick my nose in where it does not belong! This does not mean we stop communication; we just keep the necessary boundaries and be supportive when we can.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All Everybody!

Humility Gives A New Outlook And Strength

/ boxcarmike / 2 Comments
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Hi Everybody!

It is great to be behind the keyboard once more. My hope is that at least one person feels helped by my sharing whenever that time may come, even if it is not today.

If I use humility as the tool to look at myself square in the eye and just admit them. Humility as a tool means I finally stop trying to explain my wrongs away. Once, I have listed my shortcomings and acknowledge them, as well as give all of myself to my Creator.

Reprinted.76 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. (“The Seventh Step Prayer”) Amen

With What I have shared in the past two posts, this is only a beginning for me in trying to repair the wreckage I have caused, in the lives of others and my own.

I often drag my feet in doing the next right thing. It is because I hate having to face the fact of one more wrong. However, if I am to ever be free from the bondage of self it is necessary to do so.

In my wrongs, it is not the fact I was drunk or high. It is the fact of having an alcoholic mind and living with untreated alcoholism. On the other hand, every time I drank or got high there was usually an embarrassing scene.

In my fifty years plus of living nothing has been more apparent, than the embarrassment of my behavior because things were not going my way. The aftermath has been horrible; at times I want to give myself that as an excuse to not look at my behavior. I cannot change behaviors I am unwilling to look at.

The difference is today that I do want to do the next right thing. I do want to make things right and not just bury myself in a hole and be isolated because someone might call me out on something. Hiding is a cowardly way out.

The whole time I ran from my problems and pain and that is I learned to survive. It is not an excuse; there comes a point to look at everything, admit, make right what I can, and give the rest to God.

Step Seven in my journey is just the beginning of looking at everything that has been at the root of the harm to other people, places, and things. I believe that humility must come before going into Step Eight.

It reminds me that I do not have to go into self-pity and just give a brush off once more. Humility gives the foundation and strength to admit to the harms I have caused, so that I might be genuine making my list and forthright in step nine to make the amends.

It is a lifelong process that makes it possible to live in my own skin and not have regrets. I have always yelled at others to look at the truth.
It is not about them anymore. It never was.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’All Everybody !