Our Family Is Everything Merry Christmas!

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Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

Merry Christmas, Y’all!

This is a day late. However, until New Year’s Eve, I consider it Christmas.

I received a lot of precious cards from several people. They do mean so much and I did not get cards out to many people. I feel bad because you know today, everything changes in a heartbeat. But I am grateful to be able to pray for people and situations.

I want to share some words from my Mama and her husband that mean so much to me because it describes us.

“To the son of my heart-and my friend and brother in Christ”

My background is I am adopted, which I believe I have shared before. At the tender age of twelve, my Mama and I had a connection and started as friends. There was a space in time between our meeting and meeting up again. Where she and my dad got me for many weekends and led us into a home study, for them to adopt me. I am skipping a lot to make this part a short story.

Our friendship deepened as I was maturing some days and not so much, other days. God just worked on all of us, and life gets messy in between. I needed a family and to belong in a family. Life got messy in my growing up even more, but love was still there. We had a bond even in the worst of the mess.

Even through my lies and addiction there was a friendship and many times it needed to be revived, but I was still her son. She was still my mama. She prayed for my safety and for me to get honest. It has been a journey. Christmas Eve, we shared a conversation that was pure and honest. The conversation cemented our friendship more so.

The ability to be openly honest with another person is a true gift. What tops that even more is the fact offense is not taken and there is no preface needed.

I am not having to hide my screw-ups today. I am responsible for myself. I will not hide, or pretend, nor will I be blocked in. I get to grow at my pace.

No, we never get out of this life without some regrets. However, I am doing my best to minimize regrets by becoming stronger; and that does not mean anyone will like me any differently. It does mean, change for the better is possible.

When I talk to God, I can be more honest and do better. I can rest better. I can lower my expectations of others and realize not everything, or anyone is perfect. and put more energy into every relationship just a bit better than the day before.

Some of the best gifts have no wrapping paper, curling ribbon, or neat little bows.

While I described this conversation with my mama, the best gift yet. I believe that not just for the family you are raised with, but for everyone in your tribe, this is possible. It does not always happen overnight.

One day though, it can happen.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

My One Word For 2023 Is Consistency

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Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

It is cold here in Southeast, Missouri at 29°. It is feeling like winter for sure. Christmas weekend is predicted to be cold. I do not feel ready for that kind of wintry weather. However, ready, or not I am certain sooner rather than later Winter will make its presence known.

This weekend I am being productive in getting my carpets cleaned. I started getting a schedule started for 2023 on my calendars, so I do not feel rushed at the beginning of the new year to put everything in the calendars.

It is a clever idea to have a plan together to arrange transportation when needed. It also helps me to understand my schedule so I can give a fair answer to others wanting to schedule me into their plans. It is mostly dealing with the professionals of doctors and visits from health care workers. It also allows me the freedom to schedule time for myself.

I want to do whatever I can to create less stress for myself. It helps me not become angry and ready to scream. I need to be able to do things at my speed and not just be pushed. Pushing myself is better than someone else doing it for me. I do admit sometimes it is important that I reevaluate my speed.

I am striving for less stress and tension and reminding myself it is not the end of the world if my plans do not pan out.

I am just now continuing this blog post entry, this Wednesday Morning with my fresh hot cup of coffee. I began this entry a few days ago.

I talk big for plans most of the time but bringing everything to fruition is a whole other ball game.

I believe the key thing for me is to have smaller goals and to be consistent with the steps to completing those goals in 2023.

What I am discovering and have discovered over and over is being consistent with a smaller list of goals brings better results than doing a larger list never gets completed. There is so much I am behind on, and I want to do better overall rather than just do enough to scrape by.

In the men’s group, I attend we talked about the fact of trying a process once or twice and failing.

The reasons for falling back are not working through the process and our destructive thoughts.

The first thing in many instances is that we do not know the process until we have fully worked through the process. Our destructive thoughts include worrying, timidity, and thinking we are not good enough. We give up before we ever succeed.

When we freeze up, our destructive actions come into play indecisiveness and procrastination.

Committing to the process and giving everything, we have is what is going to get us to grow and succeed.

I am ready for a change to stick to and to keep growing. I do not want to keep falling back and keep starting over.

One of the most freeing things said that jumped out to me from my latest meeting: “What may be a part of my story is not who I am today!”

I am not giving up today!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

What Is It Costing Me To Not Change?

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My Baked Ziti December 10th, 2022

Hey, Y’all!

I was baking this afternoon into the early evening making my Baked Ziti. I have the spices, meat, and sauce down okay. I still need more practice before I have this recipe down.

As I boiled the noodles, I thought about how each ingredient goes in the recipe to produce a great taste. It did turn out good; it just was not that makes you want to slap your mama taste!

As I was mixing the ingredients I was thinking about each task, person, belief, routine, quality, trait, and gift that makes up our life.

I am having to do a reset even as I write this post. Today has been a total stop-and-reset day so I can write. It takes that meditation time and getting in my zone with God, Whom I have avoided concerning my me time. Dealing with my behavior and thoughts by myself in my choices.

I cannot even pray without getting in the meditation time. Here lately, it has been doing the autopilot self-will run riot just briefly pausing at times and other times not so much. My greatest accomplishment is making the daily check-ins with one person for all five working days I do believe.

I did do check-ins with two other guys for as much as I could with time, or if I were not falling asleep at the wheel you know.

The thing is, I can call upon God for others usually without a problem. However, doing my daily check-in with God has been far away. Thus, here I am resetting.

What does it cost me not to change?

It has cost me my deep meaningful time with God. It has cost me using the right judgment in situations that may have hurt other people and myself by making a stupid mistake in just joking.

It cost me not to state boundaries clearly. I have given others the free pass by saying people will be people. The cost of boundaries crossed is resentment and seething. Yes, this is getting the honesty out because it makes you want to scream!

Everything is happening so fast and in slow motion at the same time and I am saying to myself (did you see what that so and so did, and you did nothing!), oh heck, no! Son of a biscuit eater!

The hardest part is in not forgiving myself and burying one more thing as I seethe.

As it comes up and is pointed out by others then I end up screaming because what am I supposed to do now? It costs a person their sanity and peace of mind.

Change is of utmost importance; it is the path of my growth journey. We can stop raising our red flags to get smacked with some of the stuff that happens to us if we put down our pride and get real.

I want to do the passive role and not make waves. Instead, I make jokes, use sarcasm, and do anything to deflect from the reality of hurt.

This is not to say that I have not grown, I have. It is another growing pain. It is a bump in the road along my journey, which has distracted me.

It takes a reset to call out things for yourself. It costs a high price until you are willing to face reality.

You cannot lay down anything you do not acknowledge; you just bury it until it gets dealt with. You may think you have control just make sure you are not in self-destruct mode.

My journey constantly involves taking a personal inventory of how I interact with life. I hope to make clear boundaries and be mindful when they are crossed. In turn, I can communicate assertively when or if someone has crossed a boundary.

When the first thirty years of your life have been nomadic, you tend to not have clear lines where things start and end. I have never stayed on the same property for longer than five years. I have stayed where I live presently for six and a half years. Because of an absolute must, I have changed apartments, but it is on the same property.

It is five days later as I wrap up this blog post entry.

I am blessed and have much to be thankful for and always room for more growth.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving Preparing The Year’s End

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Thanksgiving 2021

Hey, Y’all!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

While there are so many things going on in the world, there is much to be grateful for.

I have been off my game this year by being more vocal and about an attitude of gratitude. I do want to walk with thanksgiving in my heart and to live it daily. There have been a lot of changes and many goals with grand intentions, but not been reached.

Some of those goals have been due to regression of healthy living and some because my health took a bad turn.

I am praying everything is more caught up with wound care as this week I will be getting some grafts put in wounds to promote healthy skin tissue as a jumpstart in the wound beds for healing.

This year was quite different for my Thanksgiving. I was not concentrating so much on the meal. I was grateful for a day of rest. It is still a bittersweet time as one of my dearest friends passed away just days before Thanksgiving.

My friend always persevered through and let nothing stop her. I know in my heart she fought her fight until there was nothing left to fight. That is how she lived and will always be remembered as such.

She never let anyone go hungry. There was always a way to make a meal out of nothing much. She was there to listen and share. She saved any judgment for all the facts. The truth will always shine.

I am grateful that Millie was my friend we shared many laughs and tears. We sometimes laughed through tears. I love you, my friend.

I know I touched on this in another pot. Whether it was one before this or in a draft for one coming up, I am not sure. Millie was a great friend.

Life happens in the middle of my writing and often a break is needed.

I am back here writing. There is so much that has happened this year and even in the past three months. It has been a roller coaster ride.

Sometimes to stop the roller coaster you must get yourself in that quiet moment to yourself. In that quiet moment is where prayer and meditation happen. If you listen peacefully inside, you can hear that still small voice inside.

At that moment you can have your confession and praise for the things that have helped you along the way. It is also a time when you are confronted with your wrongs and how to make them right.

This is where I ask for direction to move forward. I need my thought life redirected many times throughout the day.

Thanksgiving is exactly the time for our thoughts to be redirected to that for which we are thankful. It is a time when we can reflect on that which truly matters and let of that keeping us oppressed.

We do not have to stay depressed or let our thoughts overtake us if we just allow that which is true to light.

  • I am thankful for devoted friends.
  • I am thankful I can change my thought life
  • I am thankful for the light that shows the lies I have been willing to believe.
  • I am thankful for the time to confess my wrongs and right them.
  • I am thankful for the ability to change my behaviors.
  • I am thankful for the tools I have been given to cope with this journey.
  • I am thankful for joy.
  • I am thankful for being able to take back that which I have let go of or otherwise stolen from me.
  • I am thankful for the chance to celebrate others’ lives.
  • I am thankful for the opportunity to heal.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Dude, Where Is Your Peaceful Joy?

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Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

Hey, Y’all!

Let the dominoes lay where they fall! I will pick them up one at a time. I cannot get them all at once because that is taking on too much. I can only deal with one thing at a time. Since it is only one, it means getting my peace and joy back.

I have the door open for fresh air and my worship music going to help me combat the insanity taking place outside my door as I write. I pray silently inside.

I have not written since Thursday of last week followed by two different snowfalls of insignificant amounts that were unexpected. I keep letting things interrupt me. I am bothered by not being back one hundred percent since my stay in the hospital.

Here I am, two or three weeks later. I have my coffee at almost 10 am, with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, butter, and red plum jam toast. I am running way behind. This breakfast tastes good.

I am still healing and will share more positive notes on that soon.

This week is bittersweet as I have my private way of saying goodbye to a friend who left this world and mixed it with the Holiday of Thanksgiving. I have so much gratitude in my heart for this friend of mine, Millie. She and I shared many meals and watched ballgames together.

Millie was always thankful and lived a life that way as she was proud of and loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

It saddens my heart she is gone but grateful she made the world a better place for anyone alone.

Finally, here we are back at the question that started this entry. Dude, where is your peaceful joy?

I get off track and 30let 03other things blind me. Anger hurts, and I lose touch with myself. I must keep current and when I fail my routine, I lose that peaceful joy.

Today I am hearing the music once more, as it plays in the background, and it is bringing me peace.

I must keep grounded and do my absolute best at staying in my twenty-four hours. It is in doing the next right remembering to have and living out my life in thankfulness for the gift of each day.

It is a gift to be able to live today and not fall apart and be inconsolable. I never understood how selfish that can be when others need more from me.

Grieving is a tricky thing that can keep you on a slippery slope that just can keep you trapped. I have been wrapped up in myself enough. It comes down to priorities and keeping up with a plan that keeps me more balanced.

I am ready to do better for myself and still allow time for me to heal fully.

I cannot afford the time for anxiety. If only, taking the suggestions offered adds something to the life I want to live and the person I grow to be.

It is time to get up and act for the day.

Find your gratitude today and live it out.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Catching Up In The Spirit Of Writing

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The Bluffs I never tire from seeing them.

Hey, Y’all!

I am still recovering, and it is all looking good in comparison to where everything was. The appointments get overwhelming after a while.

I keep breaking promises to myself and others regarding my writing. I wanted to do my laundry, but my body gave out just gathering it up. I decided to let someone help me and take over the laundry today and instead I would catch up with writing.

I am playing some soft worship music as I write, and it is helping me be at peace and I feel more peaceful with everything around me.

Spiritually I feel like I am at a tug of war with life. Emotionally I have been anxious and experiencing panic attacks which have made me crazy.

Change stays constant, at least around me it is always changing.

I am doing my best to keep up with my Mama she is in my eyes so sweet, tender, strong, and fragile, all at the same time. I am finding it is no picnic for anyone but if you do what you do with love it becomes a joy in the labor of love. It brings peace and rests even as it takes a toll on the body.

My heart is heavy because inside I see the broken mess that I seem to hold on to while letting go and picking up the pieces seems so hard to do. It is how we gain strength or so, that I am beginning to believe.

I am stronger than I once was, and I will gain more strength as I grow

I pay my bills today and I am doing all I can to help myself. Everything gets more expensive, and it takes all I can to get through each month. But when things are paid, I can rest easy.

As people we always want more but learning to live within your means when things are stretched makes sleep easier.

I am sitting here in my living room/office area with the door open and the window raised with the sun shining bright in the 70s temperature-wise. It is so beautiful outside. This is priceless weather and a beautiful setting.

I enjoy having this time to myself to write and just be at peace.

I have whined a lot inside myself about feeling abandoned at times, but people are still there loving me for me. When you can say all this to yourself honestly, you have love and gratitude.

  1. I am grateful for the love and gratitude I feel in my heart and soul.
  2. I am grateful for God and His love for me.
  3. I am grateful for peace and joy.
  4. I am grateful for two gentlemen I met while waiting for a ride home from an appointment. One guy was named John, he gave me Hall’s cough drop and told me of his belief. Another man named Joe needed my help and had a rough life like I once lived. I told Him he was loved, and I loved him as my brother. I gave him what he said he needed, and he was incredibly grateful he smiled wide. It did my heart good. (A merry heart does good like medicine).
  5. I am grateful for everyone who has helped me and given me help.
  6. I am grateful for those who care for me by talking to me, transporting me, physically caring for me, and medically tending to my needs. Those who help me so much emotionally and with laughter and tears.
  7. I am grateful my life is full of so much more than tears and fears.
  8. I am grateful for the ability to choose calm.
  9. I am grateful for pauses and reminders along the way in my journey.
  10. I am grateful to be hopeful.

While my life is not constantly in a state of peace it is good to know peace today.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

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Still Readjusting To Find My New Normal Schedule

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its the link where i got this

Wednesday, October 19, 2022Hey, Y’all!

I am here again however I am up late dealing with some nausea from not eating on schedule. I still need to eat but I want to write as well.

I have been napping off and on and missed my afternoon/evening phone calls and checking in with my mama. I have been making it a habit or routine to check in with people and I am having a rough time keeping up perfectly.

I am tracking my blood sugars and vitals daily. Now that I have finally read the instructions for pairing my glucometer, I have been able to get rid of an extra phone app. I transferred data over and everything is up to date.

I am using my pumps daily as well today I spent two and a half hours in my pumps. I have one more day of antibiotics and I will check back with the doctor and see if I need a refill. This month has flown by so fast.

There are only two more months left of this year, it is so unbelievable!

As we get older, it seems all we see are the changes. When I was young, I was impatient for the changes to come. There is hardly time enough to grieve over what once was. What will 2023 bring? I fear some of the possibilities of change.

I am excited about new possibilities and hopeful news breaking forth. I hope for joy. I hope to remember to be kind and thoughtful no matter the changes. I hope to be that voice of reason and comfort to someone else.

I have lost track because it is a new day because went back to sleep after starting this entry.

Here it is Saturday Night October 22nd, 2022.

Things are better. I am supposed to get sutures taken out of my foot Wednesday I am using my lymphedema pumps for swelling in my legs and feet.

To be honest I was scared at the beginning of the week a decision to put me back in the hospital would be the outcome by the end of the week

Today I wrote my mama a letter and as I look at my wall my brother, his wife my mama, her husband my grandma, her husband, my mama, my dad, and finally my dad. My grandpa and my dad could be in the cloud of witnesses but no matter they all are with me when I need them.

My pastor friend Nathan and me looking at me from a picture on my bookshelf help me too.

I have experienced a big mix of emotions this month. People died and one was murdered. Watching the justice system fail again. They promised the man would not be released after harming himself to avoid court and was put in the hospital.

The word is they did a big escort, and he was set free after his release from the hospital. My heart grieves. I have no control over the system.

I am okay physically and healing from surgery. I am doing the self-care.

My emotions are coming to the surface and emotional traumas are being expressed.

My friends, family, helpers, nurses, and drivers, you all help me.

Thank God it was in-person therapy I broke down waking up in a pool of sweat in my bed.

I cried I did not want my therapist to go but the explanation was he had to go home to where he lives.

My mama was the first to introduce me to twice-baked potatoes! I crave them as much as nachos, hamburgers with cheese, her chicken, her meatloaf, and her homemade turkey potpie.

I want my dads smoked meat or bbq .

I want to joke with my grandpa and my uncles and sarcasm with my aunts and mom. I want stories from my grandma. Tell me again grandma- about Jesus mom share a bible story again

My aunt Mary and aunt Doris I want another ride listening to music. My aunt Judy always the positiuve one finding good in anything usually.

My brother and sister in love a ride just gabbing about my brother another ride to a concert and mom riding too singing one toke over the line sweet Jesus. my nephew seeing his big smile always grateful no matter my shape.

John more sunrise watching the sailboats with mister donut donuts!

My brother plays guitar sitting on the breakfast table, and the whole family stops to hear and sing along.

I want to roller skate again to Sammy Hagar john cougar and Georgia satellites etc.

I am not correcting any part of grammar on the part of my memories and wants.

Inger let us go to the world store again!

Wait I want to hear your southern yeehaw again. I just want parts of my life back, but no one is sad all of us happy …is that what a hostage taker says I wonder? Let me clarify I mean emotional hostage taking not physical.

We are never the same going back home. Yes way off topic that is today!

I miss me too!

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Life On This Earth Is Temporary

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Walthers Park

Hey, Y’all!

I am here again beginning the second week of my recovery of my post-surgery.

Today is a busy day starting with an early phone call and making breakfast. I am taking my medicine and getting ready for my ride for a lung cancer screening and a trip to the wound clinic for a dressing change.

As of Friday, I have been tracking my vital signs and taking my blood sugar test daily. It is all part of me taking care of myself.

I am dealing with feelings and emotions. I am looking at how my behavior has been and what it is I am looking for and want so that I might reach some goals to make my life better.

I am not always proud of how I behave but I am improving with time.

What do I want my life to look like?

I want to be successful and find a way to be prosperous, and simple. I want to be an example for others. I want to show others and prove to myself I can do anything I set my mind to and to live positively and mindfully that will allow me to be free and not hang on to the guilt of past mistakes.

What will help simplify my life?

Having an organized routine and making the changes possible to follow through. So often we allow people and things to bombard our lives when we are trying to set a routine.

We must be selfish when it comes to our time and spend it wisely because there are only 24 hours in a day and how we spend those 24 hours is completely up to us. We must take responsibility for our decisions because we have a limited number of twenty-four hours allotted to us.

Once we have this perspective it makes it easier to know what we are willing to spend our time on much like having a budget with a bank account.

Our bank account may look limitless but will run dry if we do not invest money and put more in our bank account.

The same is true with our time. We need rest. We must rest otherwise we become depleted of energy and life.

What is acceptable and reasonable?

Taking care of the responsibilities that are mine and which will help further my self-improvement. To have my understanding of God expanded and to understand that God loves me and that I can be loving and accept myself too.

I can take time to answer questions I do not need to respond to immediately just because it is demanded by others.

To have a positive outlook and change things up. To be willing to try new things as the occasion may arise.

To follow a daily routine and realize changes may come that may be pertinent.

What is unreasonable and unacceptable?

Guilt trips from others to try to manipulate my decision process are not okay.

To be irresponsible with time and resources have unnecessary consequences I cannot afford. If I can look at each activity throughout the day and realize the price tag each item has, I would be all the wiser.

What are my accomplishments?

I have completed a GED and obtained my GED in 2011

I have overcome Osteomyelitis through surgery and have all my limbs.

I have made blog entries off and on for years and working my way to writing full-time and getting better with time.

I have made dietary changes and have had to make changes based on finances.

I am initiative-taking in my health care and doing things to help enhance my health. I still have room to grow in this area.

I am taking responsibility for my actions.

What is it in my life that needs improvement?

My writing needs improvement constantly and to be more consistent with my blog.

My daily diet needs improvement. I need more exercise.

I need to call out others when they are responsible for the care of my physical health and neglect those needs fearlessly.

I need to not be a wimp and realize I have rights and stand up for myself in the right ways.

To be more consistent in my routine.

What does success look like for me?

Making money doing what I love and helping others.

To be a rock star at writing and turning my life around.

To be an encourager and full of faith.

To assert me and know my values and treat others with the respect they deserve.

The things I am thankful for:

I am thankful for this second week of recovery and for being willing to be well and grow.

I am thankful for everyone still praying and checking in on me.

I am thankful for the ability to be home, drink my coffee make my own meals and write.

I am thankful for a clean home and a bed and all the basic things.

I am thankful for prayer and meditation and a Loving God as He may express Himself in my life.

Thanks for reading!

 This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Post-Surgery Physical And Emotional Healing Choices

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one of my favorites

Hey, Y’all!

A little more than a week ago, my hospital admission occurred. Admission to the hospital is hardly ever a pleasant experience but necessary. In my case, it was very necessary. I am very blessed to still have all my limbs and lower extremities.

What the doctors and I did not know is that I had an active case of Osteomyelitis. It was causing wounds not to heal and was in two small bones in my foot. Last Saturday, I had surgery to have those two small bones removed and I could begin to heal.

I have about made it through the first week of healing at home. It has been multiple appointments and having Home Health come back to my home to resume care of wounds. Though the one doctor and the wound clinic are taking care of the foot that had surgery.

I have like six weeks before the sutures come out and I am to take it easy and allow others to do for me, which I admit I resent.

I am trying to find time to take that deep breath throughout the day without answering questions that seem constantly coming at me.

I need everyone to leave before the end of the day sometimes. I need time for myself besides just having to lie down and rest and elevate my feet. I need time for writing, meditation, and conversations besides with friends who do have time.

While I was in the hospital, I was very emotional much of the time. During my first few days, I was still reeling from one of my favorite country music stars death Loretta Lynn. I found myself singing God Bless America Again very loudly something hardly do except to cope with stressful situations.

The nurses easily poked on and dug into twelve times for an I-V and some attempts left lasting marks. Nurses that put in I-Vs, you must do better. Please do not dig, that is not the way to do it because you are afraid of running out of time for a break or because you have other patients. Do it right or do not do it. Admit you need better training. Supervisors, help your Nurses. Do not sit on your butt watching Facebook or other social media. If you do it correctly the patient will have minimal discomfort!

Saturday, I had my surgery and while I did have pain, it was tolerable. I needed four tablets of tramadol to get through recovery time until I went home Sunday afternoon when I was discharged from the hospital.

I was happy to attend my Men’s Group on Tuesday online where the topic of anger came up.

Many things push us into anger and feeling overwhelmed by everyday life-type things.

The importance is in identifying what anger looks like and catching our thoughts early on. Being able to control our thoughts and remember to remind ourselves of true statements instead of believing a lie.

The first part of everything begins with how we start our day and the self-care in beginning our day.

This comes from prayer and meditation.

We encourage ourselves and affirm ourselves by using “I am statements.”

The attitude of gratitude by remembering and writing down the things for which we are thankful.

Reading for me which would be in God’s word and remembering God loves me and wants the best for me.

It is a lifelong process.

Thanks for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!

Reframing The Negative Thoughts We Get Changes Feelings

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I have borrowed this from Dandelion quotes .com

Hey, Y’all!

It has been another minute since my last writing.

I am here to share my experience, strength, and hope. My experience is going through repetitive lessons. Most of life seems to be a repetition.

I am experiencing a lot of the same lessons. My lessons go deeper in learning more each time.

I am picking this piece of writing from last week. I write a thought. Yesterday, the nurse said I needed to go to The Emergency Room by today. It conjured up all kinds of thoughts and feelings.

I am in the middle of getting my clothes and hygiene items together on the high probability of admission to the hospital. I am very scared by the conversation we had. I cannot be more specific. Suffice it to say I went into meltdown mode.

I had to call or text my tribe members. I am following through in fear. I have learned from past mistakes, not to put things off until I have no choice left.

I have cried out of fear and raised unanswerable questions. I must believe that God will make things okay, but that faith is weak right now. I tell most people; I wish that someone could just hold me and tell me everything will be okay. I wish I could just know that there is nothing to fret about.

There are considerations and things I do not know that only doctors can decide on. I wish that I could walk away with no consequences. The fear of the unknown is strong. For every action, there is a consequence.

I must get some breakfast, take my medication, make my regular morning phone call, and come back to explain how I am going to reframe my negative thoughts.

I first had to produce a plan in just the last few minutes.

I am going to face this dragon head-on. There is already an X-ray ordered which I will have done when I first get to the hospital, and then go directly to the ER.

The negative thoughts are still an issue, but I shall overcome them. I fear the things required for my health. I am not looking forward to a Picc Line in my arm limiting my activity.

Reframing these thoughts means I am in fear of the unknown. I am not a medical professional therefore the orders will be to help me heal properly and safely. Everyone wants me in good health. I want myself in good health.

I am willing to follow the instructions needed to get through this bump in the road.

While things may be frightening, I will walk this road and see the courage I have gained by following through. I will lose the fear with each step I take forward.

I want to be good to myself and trust in God’s plan for me. I will come out on top of this and not lose control of my emotions or let everything be based on fear.

This is my journey as I am reporting on it today.

Thank you for reading!

This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike, over and out!

God Bless Y’all, Everybody!