Today I am sharing on the first part of step three.
I will preface this with the fact I do not pretend to have all the answers. I can only share my experience, which may seem limited in the scheme of things.
Let’s bring the steps up to speed in my journey.
Step One, I had to admit there was a problem at the crux of that the problem is me. Everything else was a symptom. It showed my life as unmanageable.
Step Two, showed a way out as I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. It’s a process.
Step Three, “made a decision to turn Our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” I personally always add, also as I don’t understand Him. It’s a personal thing in my journey.
Just as a side note: there is a saying in 12 Step Meetings that meeting makers make it. That is only half true. I hid out in meetings for years not doing the footwork.
I have to really accept a program of action today, and be willing to do whatever is necessary to continue.
Otherwise, I am dead.
Step Three begins with acceptance and willingness. I have to accept God and realize I am not Him. It actually began in step two. Step three, just shows a decision being made by following through.
I have to really be on guard though, as my self-will can slam that door shut and has many times. But willingness once again can reopen the door.
My self- sufficiency and self-reliance don’t fill the bill. Furst of all self-sufficiency is almost nonexistent for me and self-reliance just means I am trying to act alone as God.
It doesn’t work because all of that hatred, bitterness, and anger come flooding back in. I don’t even have to drink for this to be true. However, the warning is it will all lead me back to a drink, unless I quit playing God.
I am my own worst enemy and I get in the way of my own recovery a lot. I am not willing to stay stuck today or pay the price for playing God.
It must mean I am willing to finally, turn my will and my life over to the care of God as we understood Him. This the only solution that seems palatable to me.
- I am grateful for the willingness and acceptance.
- I am grateful to not have to do this thing alone.
- I am grateful for moments of peace.
- I am grateful for gatherings and meetings.
- I am grateful I can be of service.
- I am grateful for finding strength.
- I am grateful for others who care.
- I am grateful for the trust of others and that I am learning to trust more than myself.
- I am grateful I don’t have to be hospitalized today.
- I am grateful for rides from others.
- I am grateful I can care for others be there today.
Thanks for reading!
This has been another blog post entry by Boxcar Mike Over and Out!
God Bless Y’all Everybody!