Hi Everybody! It’s great to be back to share about Step 2 of the 12 Steps.
Step Two: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
A lot of us joke that we should have had sanity first before we could be restored to us. Others of us it hits very close to home. I like to think that it’s a God or a power greater than, that is restoring my whole self and that it would include sanity even if I didn’t have sanity before.
When I first came to the rooms, I was willing I thought to do anything it meant to stay sober. Sure, I repeated prayers and gave all the answers I thought they wanted to hear.
I was not really ready for God. I didn’t want to hear about God or the belief thing. The fruit of my soul even proved that. I kept on not being able to stay sober because of it. I didn’t even realize that until now as Iam writing this but that’s the truth. I couldn’t believe that you believed because it was not enough.
Though I would mouth the words I believed. I was definitely a belligerent one on the inside. As a child I believed God for anything and believed Him on His word.
This is an important part of the journey. This is where we are making a formation of our journey ahead. It’s important to know what we believe in and what we are coming to believe to restore us to sanity.
As an adult I was not so ready to believe. I had to stop the lies and lying. Steps One through twelve are all about surrendering to a program of action. This comes by believing in a power greater than myself, I do call God today.
I first started by mouthing the words and just trying to follow along with the rest of the requirements. It was not enough. I had to come to believe. I was still reeking of alcohol and alcoholism. You see it was a thinking problem too. This is why I needed sanity. I need sanity still today.
This means stopping the fear too. I still have alcoholic thinking even after 15 years of not drinking. So, when I first got here it was about not being willing to believe. Lip service just leads to another drunk.
Today it is about doing it piece-meal with my belief. It allows me to grow in a relationship with God. I didn’t have to swallow all of the God concept at once.
I have more to write on this as well as more reading to do. I will add a part two to the second step.
This is a good resting place for now.
- I am grateful for God the power greater than myself.
- I am grateful for the second step and that I can be restored to sanity.
- I am grateful I can pause today and think about everything that it took for me to believe and have faith.
- I am grateful for prayer and meditation.
- I am grateful for friends.
- I am grateful to my readers.
- I am grateful that I can take the time to trace my anger back to what fear it is Iam having today.
- I am grateful for lunch with a friend.
- I am grateful for that cup of coffee first thing in ther morning.
- I am grateful for laughter.
Thanks for reading! This is Boxcar Mike with another day of gratitude and sharing on the steps of recovery. Over and Out!
God Bless Y’all Everybody!