It’s great to be able to be back on a laptop even if temporarily, until I get one of my own.
The past two weeks have thrown me with the laptop dying and a weeks’ worth of gatherings missed. I also am enduring a loss of my vehicle having to sell it. It’s a great loss to me and all of these things combined, haven’t exactly made me feel too spiritual.
I am grateful for the lessons learned and it doesn’t mean I have to like the turn of events, rather I get to walk through them.
I have mentioned the lack of gatherings and therefore I also have had a lack in remaining grateful in this walk. Consistency and gratitude are important in this journey.
It takes walking through the valley to start climbing upward and I cannot do it alone, at any time.
So far along this journey you all have been with me as I hit a snag after snag. I have had reasons for each one but now it’s time to push ahead so I don’t stay stuck.
Part of not staying stuck means forgiving other people as I have been forgiven and even thanking people for their patience with me. I can’t stay in anger or allow it control me. I may have to feel the anger but it’s important I let it go even with some bitter tears as my heart breaks.
The difference is now I have an answer to that heart break and I can change the end of that story. That’s a true gift given to me to change some of the endings, where I didn’t realize I had a choice before. My heart does not have to break.
I honestly made a decision this afternoon to give up the anger forgive because the anger will kill me. (I’ve taken lots of breaks in writing this post entry). I even had to make a decision on two more losses this afternoon. I refuse to be angry over them. Moving forward is all that counts right now.
I am going to keep doing the Gratitude Lists because they do keep me somewhat centered in today. Even as I write this one of those losses, I mentioned that happened this afternoon is coming back to me. So, it seems it is all in foot work.
Yes, I do believe we have to write stuff out. I do believe we have to pray and meditate. Sometimes we have to share in a general way and share specifics in private.
Even if we disagree with others, we need to hear them out. They just may have a solution.
The sad stories we have can have happier endings if we are open enough to try. Many hugs, prayers, and love all go into my program. It’s not all blood, sweat, and tears. Not today, anyway.
Before today I was not sure there was a way out. There is a way out and sometimes it means working your butt off and stepping back. When I freed the anger of one, I was able to go to someone else and say thank you for being patient with me these past couple of years to another and he said, peace brother!
I wish peace to all of you as well.
- I am grateful for friends who tell me the truth.
- I am grateful for forgiveness and peace.
- I am grateful that right things get replaced and the things we must give up are done for our own best interest.
- I am grateful for being trusted today.
- I am grateful I am truly loved by others and that I am learning to love in the right ways.
- I am grateful that there is a way out and I don’t have to stay stuck.
- I am grateful to see the majestic clouds in the sky today
- I am grateful to just be a small part of this world.
- I am grateful for being able to take a step back and breathe.
- I am grateful for unity and the ability for being true to myself all in the process of letting go. It’s okay today.
I especially want to thank my church people you know who you are and I hope those of you who read this pass this on to others who may not see it. I love you all.
Thank you to all my readers.
This has been another blog entry post by BoxcarMike Over and out!
God Bless Y’all everybody!