Hey Everyone, it’s BoxcarMike here again!
Writing really is my passion and its been hard to stay connected without writing regularly. Its part of my processing, especially when things don’t make sense.
I get to a point where I have to ride my emotions out, but I can’t let them control my whole life. I have been writing off and on since, 12-14 years old. It’s been important more so since I have been clean and sober. I just forget to make myself a priority as well as my writing.
Keeping thoughts written down was always important. I think even in writing though, its been learning what is true and what is not.
Since starting this blog, I have tried to share who I am and what I believe. I also share about the tools in recovery as prayer and meditation. The need to get out of my own head is very important. We cannot live inside ourselves, otherwise its just one more prison we set up for ourselves. I need the message of hope and I need to pass it on to others. The only way to achieve that is by taking the courage to change myself.
Writing has helped me feel close to God and a way to say things I can’t make in an audible sound. Writing gives me the chance to share as well. I know some can’t believe some of the things that are so embarrassing to share of one’s self. But I think its important to use discretion and in sharing them they lose their powerful hold over me.
Often as people we want to throw out truths about others and shame them in some way. This is true especially if they have hurt us or we have perceived their actions as hurtful. I think my style in this shows I am not afraid to own up to some of the mistakes I have made. Besides, no one can hurt me as good as I can hurt myself. But today its more about me giving those things to God as I understand Him and don’t understand Him.
Sometimes it is really hard trying to make the breakthroughs. But It can be so worth it in the end. Its when we finally cease fighting other people, places, and things. This doesn’t mean we won’t have things crop up. They certainly will crop up, but we can handle them better each time. Sometimes, we don’t handle them well. It doesn’t mean we have failed. We just get another try.
My writing lets me know myself in ways I will never be able to explain as there is always something deep going on. It’s how I have the desire to want to change today and not remain stagnant. I am not willing to give up on me. I have a lot that I am responsible for in taking care of myself just for today.
Writing is good for my soul and it cleanses me so that I can grow. Just for today, I wanted to share this with you.
Thanks for reading!